Just gave me an idea for my new Facebook post.

100+ likes here I come!

-PB

:lol: Almost sig worthy

I'm going to be the person who disagrees, but just on this bit. If you're not comfortable with how you're dressed/what you're wearing, you're going to feel worse. Obviously I'm not meaning wear your pyjamas everywhere, but dressing in stuff that you like can help a lot.

add 10+ comments saying "mate, I'm here for you if you need to talk" from people you never speak to :lol:

Edited by bethfc: 5/11/2015 10:08:35 AM

You'll be good salmon what you're going through now like with me and what I went through it will make you a stronger person and you will grow to really appreciate having the right people in your life.

I copped some very nasty shit in my highschool years. At its peak during years 8-9 it was happening every hour of every day. It didn't stop until I stood up for myself you can't let these people walk all over you. Now im not saying you do what I did which was eventually snap and put a kid through a locker, but mate please stand up for yourself let these people know that they don't own you.

As for social skills this is something that a lot of people do develop late particularly if they've been bullied. This will improve as hard as this is for the people on here who have met me I was once very much how you describe yourself. A few things helped me.

1. My first job. Getting a new circle of friends outside those at school a new network.
2. Taking a chance a chance with a girl and getting into my first "relationship" yes it was your typical little teen lovey dovey shit but it helped.
3. This one is a little against the grain of what's been said in here but using something like 442 as a networking tool to get some friends with common interests for me at the time I was a kid it was an AFL forum
4. Started playing futsal. I just lobbed up to my local sports centre and said give me a spot. Once again a new network


expand your networking and you'll be amazed at how your social skills develop





Edited by scotty21: 5/11/2015 10:21:45 AM

Bingo :lol:

-PB

:lol: :lol: :lol:

WHAT??????

i was bullied at school so i beat the prick up and urinated on him
i was bullied in my apprenticeship so i fucked the guys wife and took photos and sent them to him when i finished
i was bullied on construction sites so i used to interfere with the guys sandwiches and he never knew it wasn't mayo
i was bullied in corporate meeting by bitches in power suits i would ask them if i could buy their used panties
i was bullied by the bus conductor so i would go upstairs and pull the stop cord repeatedly
i was bullied by my next door neighbor because our band rehearsal was way to loud for him, so i have been fucking his wife fir 15 years

i like being a bully

Lol Finky, I f***ing adore that post.

Hearing everyone's issues makes me realize how i actually have no problems. I'm blessed with a beautiful wife 2 healthy children own my home and a stable job and a fantastic supportive family.

I guess what is my confession for something a little more positive.

Honestly, it's not that hard to see what styles people are wearing... You can stay with trends pretty cheaply too if you know where to go. Life is a confidence game, take control.

Finished work, checked this, Got all excited... Checked your FB... Nothing

You lied :cry:

are you bullying me?????

Yeah but if you don't like what you're wearing then you aren't going to feel confident. Idk, this is probably different for guys compared to girls, I'm certainly not going to bother keeping up with trends all the time.

I could never get 100 likes :lol:

-PB

Look... As a very socially observant person, the way a guy dresses says A LOT about him.

Well... Do you pitch or catch? ;)

Okay? I'm not saying not to try to look good, just to do what works for you. I used to wear jeans and hoodies all of the time, and it looked bad and I felt bad, but now that I wear stuff that I like and is flattering, it's easier. But then I'm a socially anxious /awkward person.

I'm worried that I'll never fit in anywhere or be truly happy in life.

I also feel like I grew up way too fast and never got to have a proper childhood, yet when I look around me and see that everyone around me has active and healthy social lives, jobs, commitments and have already begun developing their careers and I don't even have a part time job at a supermarket or something, I feel like I still need to grow up.

Don't worry mate, you have plenty of time. I didn't get my shit together till I was 25.

I am 30 years old and have never met my birth-father.

On saying that, my step-father has been in my life since I was 5 years old and he is a good, honest man and even though there were many years (teens to early 20's) where I had no respect for him, we're fine these days and chat at least once a week. My mother has been so good to me ever since day dot, she has invested more time, money and energy on me over the years than I can remember. My sister is doing well for herself, she's a smart girl who has great and supportive friends and lives abroad continuing her work/ study. I am in great health, I look young for my age, I have no nightmare ex or broken heart from a past relationship and no children to speak of. On top of that, I work for myself. I am the boss. I'm really happy with the path my life is taking.

And yet... I feel guilty that I've been so fortunate when I see so many other people who (through no fault of their own) have had to live with terrible abuse or loss. For example, I've watched plenty of true crime doco's over the years and I even did a forensic science course once when I was in Primary school, but a few weeks back I watched the movie 'Hillsborough' and when the fans spilled out onto the field and that guy was trying to resuscitate his brother I imagined going to that game with a mate and the unconscious guy being him. I thought how I'd be freaking out if I couldn't remember CPR procedure and everybody around me too engulfed in the tragedy unfolding to stop and help. I imagined thinking "Fuck- we just came to watch a football game and now if (my mate) dies it'll be my fault!" At this point I had to stop the movie, lay my head on the desk and close my eyes for a because I was in a state of actual panic. I basically shut down, I thought I was going to pass out and my heart was pounding like crazy and it was a few minutes before I'd calmed down enough to continue watching. I feel guilty because I see other people who have to deal with awful things that they don't deserve, yet I've been so blessed throughout my life and I feel as if I have done nothing to deserve it. As positive as I normally am, I sometimes fear that my parents will both die before I can repay even half of what they have done for me, that I will forever be left in their debt. I'm quite critical and harsh on other people (observe my earlier rant in the Unpopular Opinions thread) but I feel justified in having this attitude because I apply it to myself.

This isn't meant to be a humble brag. But I often reflect on all the things in my life that have been given to me or I've been lucky enough to experience- even the mere fact I was born into this 1st world country with at least one loving parent- and I think of all those who aren't as lucky and I think about what a judgemental arsehole I can be towards people I can't stand. I think of the people who are far better, more likeable human beings than I am yet they've had their heart ripped out more than once, been broken so many times and compared to them I feel so guilty and unworthy for getting off scott-free (so far). I'll think about everything my parents have done for me, and I'll think of how much more I should have achieved by now and like I'm letting them down. This will all well up inside me to the point that I'll be on the verge of tears and then I think "What the fuck am I carrying on like this for?"







Edited by Captain Haddock: 9/5/2016 12:21:34 AM

Again, far be it from me to give advice, but maybe I can find one or two useful things to say.

Firstly, don't stress. Things will sort themselves out and you'll find things that interest you and and a social group you click with. You'll figure out some sort of career eventually. You're still very young. There's no hurry. You'll be fine.

Secondly, I think sometimes you just gotta find something to focus on and hold onto it. I know that sounds a bit at odds with the idea of not stressing out. But really, this is one of the best ways of dealing with these kind of issues and working out who you are.

I notice on the language thread that you started to learn a language, did it for a bit, but not too long.

I know it might be difficult to keep up with it because you're busy with school and this and that.

But seriously, I think you need to find something like this (such as learning a language) and really engage with it. When you really commit yourself to doing something you're passionate about, you become much calmer. You also become really interesting as a person.

I'm not sure what language you were learning. But, supposing you're the only person around you who speaks that language, that's fairly awesome. People will find that really interesting and, because that makes you interesting, they'll find you interesting.

Then when you get the chance to travel to the place where that language is spoken, you'll feel amazing.

Find something you're really passionate about and devote time to it. Just about everybody I know who has been really successful in one way or another has done something like this.

Edited by quickflick: 9/5/2016 12:24:24 AM

Edited by quickflick: 9/5/2016 12:24:55 AM

Ha! Kiddo, you ain't seen nothing yet. Remember when I told you a few weeks back about how I told you I'm 33 years old and haven't outgrown the problems of puberty! I'm serious!

I've grown up my whole life being told I'm pathetic. My parents have abilities to put me down in ways that I didn't know were possible! I'm unemployed, and I still live with my parents. You got time to turn it around kid!

I wanted actual advice, not a fucking multi.

Things will definitely get better mate. Its good that you have access to a psychologist, there is every reason that your social anxiety can be overcome with a little effort.
Getting a part-time job in a supermarket would be a great goal to set. As well as gaining some cash and some independence, you will meet new people - you might find it easier to connect with people in an environment that is a bit more serious, and has a few more boundaries than the school yard. Sometimes the shittiest of jobs can be good because you develop a comradery with your fellow workers.

I don't think anyone can really provide advice seeing as everyone will have experienced different things to what you are but I would like to approach the "find social groups you connect with" a bit differently, especially as I have always been an introvert.

Moving from Western Sydney to the Central Coast was an absolute brainfart for my family. We were happy in Campbelltown, had friends etc but moving schools when I was 15 threw everything out of whack. I was picked on so much in year 10 that I spent every recess sitting on the toilet or running to the library so I could jump on a computer just so I didn't have to walk around friendless like a dickhead. My attempts at wit were poorly timed and my moral compass was far too conservative to be invited up the hill for a joint or even to a late night LAN party.

When I was 16 and in a new school my father was diagnosed with depression to the point I would come home from school to see him high on valium staring off into space running a knife down his arm. I was smart enough, perhaps too smart at that age, to know that depression can be hereditary and really went into my shell pretty much saying "screw it it's over."

Instead of finding social groups psychically, I found everything I needed online. I played countless hours bossing Diablo and Starcraft getting to know people who didn't have a face and that was okay with me because to them I was equal, sometimes even better. I found a love for Progressive Metal and could sit through hours asking and collaborating online for the next 20 minute opus that I could play on repeat. I shared tips on GameFAQs about all the games I was playing, started playing Chess and Monopoly with these people. Eventually I even met up with a few of them when I knew it was an actual meetup.

The main point through all of this though was I felt part of a group. It felt much more comfortable for me to chat to people from all over the world and they really had no idea who I was in real life because at the end of the day we chatted about awesome shit like Dream Theater, Playstation, FIFA and KFC and it didn't have to be physical.

Sure I did not go out of the house, at least until I met my first girlfriend (online) and needed a car to bang her in, so went for jobs, failed about 2 or 3 times, went online and researched the best way to get a retail job, found out it was to pretty much be confident with your answers and walked into the interview pretending I was the most positive dude alive. Once I got a job at one of the big supermarkets it was all uphill in terms of socialising from there, and I am going to say it was almost solely due to the more mature people working there (I was 18 by this time, and the people in my department were 19-30) who gave me the time of day to chat, learn how to socialise, invite me to get drunk with them, tell me I was stupid but also tell me I was doing a good job.

At 28 and looking back now I don't talk to anyone from any of my high schools and even those friendships I had online have gone now. I still enjoy the internet but have not only learnt through observation how to be witty and social but also just become happy with who I am as a person. Everyone else who has shared their story with you has said it gets easier as you grow up and it's true, although it may seem like bullshit when your hormones are at such a heightened level as they are when you're a teenager.

The positive side is I am now working in pretty much a dream job, working online with software that the dickheads in high school now need in order to live their financial lives, my data entry is twice as fast as anyone in the office meaning I power through my work, present great presentations, integrate our software like a boss and still have time to respond to D & M's on the FFT forums. Most importantly I now have a wife I absolutely love and a son I am proud of every time I see him.

Best advice, if any, I can give you is if life is crap now, find out what works for you. There will be a time when people will need the skills that you develop now, and you will be surprised by what you can actually bring to the world.

TL;DR - Hang in there buddy! We were all there once

Edited by redshirtwilly: 9/5/2016 02:56:02 PM

Try to find positive influences in your life.

Like several fb pages with inspirational messages, so you also see them when you look at your other stuff. Read.

Life isn't a competition, just try to be the best person you can be (friend, son, brother, stranger etc).

Stop being a whiny fucking maggot. You're 16. Life hasn't even begun for you.

Stay in school, don't do drugs. That's all the advice you need right now. I'd say wear a condom when you're fucking bitches, but I'd say that's the least of your worries right now.

Edited by Heineken: 9/5/2016 05:26:43 PM