Ohh. Oh?
What?
No.
That's not the truth.
At all.
And won't ever be.
And wasn't ever.

Racism is only something white people are guilty of in this world we live in.

Translation?

It clearly is.

Look at the massive disparity is response to white racism vs. non-white racism.

Non-right racism is commonly described as 'being a proud _____ (Insert Race)'. It's a joke.

Salmon: Seeking help is a massive step that when you step back and look back on should be something to be proud of. baby steps its a marathon not a sprint.

salmonfc

It's not really for me to tell you what you should and shouldn't do. But I I understand where you're coming from. You needn't say anything about your circumstances that you don't want to say. Sometimes there are just things nobody else can possibly understand. This is partly why depression is really poorly understood by mainstream society in Australia.

One of the best things you can do is to take a step back and think, "okay, I'm not in the happiest frame of mind, but are things really that fucked? Is it never going to be get better?" because 99% of the time, it will get better and there will be some sort of answer to the problem you're dealing with.

To help you figure this out, you may need to see a therapist. Some won't be any good, and you may need to look around. But sooner or later you'll find one who gets your situation.

You also need to have something, beyond the depression and anxiety, to take your mind off it.

School is the main one. It's very difficult to focus on it when there's a lot on your mind. But trust me, if you can find a way. You're the winner.

Doing things fitness-related are good because, not only do they serve as distraction, your mental health will be partially lifted when your physical health is.

I notice, from the language thread, you're keen on learning a language. Throw a lot into that. You'll be far happier for it.

As for the girlfriend thing. Focusing on having a girlfriend won't help, imo. Focus on the other things and simply being the best person you can be and that sort of thing will probably fall into place.

I think that when we, as people, are in in a really loving relationship with a person, we find the combination of all their qualities and flaws is what makes them attractive to us. You'll experience this sooner or later. The thing is to accept that you, as an individual, have an utterly unique combination of qualities and quirks which make you absolutely awesome and attractive to others.

Remember nobody else in the world has the privilege of being you. Nobody else looks at things in quite the same way that you do. Nobody else laughs at jokes in quite the same way you do. Nobody else has the exact set of qualities and quirks that you have. Nobody else is the unique individual that you are. This is something that you need to embrace. You wouldn't want to be somebody else. When you get to grips with this, you'll feel very happy being you and find it far easier in terms of relationships.

WGMG: when tinder throws up 43 straight dogs. I don't gave time for that.

Would help a little bit with the loneliness.

Dw, it's not all it's cracked up to be.

people who think racism is only a white person thing

It's not just the weight and lack of friends (which can't really be fixed since pretty much no one would want to be friends with someone like me) that's getting to me. There are factors in my life (which I don't really want to reveal) that can't be fixed, removed or alleviated that are affecting my mental wellbeing. Even if I dropped a shit ton of weight and got a girlfriend, I'm not sure if that would be enough to make me happy.

WGMG: Driving the in-laws and Co to the airport at 5am and getting home at 5pm. The missus decided shopping would be in order as she has to live at her mums for a month looking after 6 dogs and two cats. All of which have massive issues because they were all babied and coddled so much. Its going to be a fucking nightmare.

fox sport constantly shoving horse racing down my throat, leave that shit on the 2nd page

Edited by swarth: 2/4/2016 11:18:52 AM

My girlfriend of nearly 6 years was diagnosed with clinical depression back in high school. She's inherited it from her mother. Whilst there's no clear link of depression inheritance it was her mother her picked up on it and took her to a doctor and was diagnosed. She's the worst sort too - the one who tends to go a bit violent when she's off her meds (doesn't help she's South African! :lol: ). I also went through a stage of situation depression in high school myself, probably similar to what Salmon's going through. That stemmed from an issue which I got involved in, and whilst there were avenues that I could have taken to help me through them, I fought through them by myself, after realizing early on that the only person that could truly help myself was me.

Definitely seeing a psych will assist, but relying upon them is going to make things worse in the long run. Assistance from medication and doctors will assist in the short term, but accepting that you have medically diagnosed depression and learning to live and deal with it is going to be the most important step as you're never going to get anywhere if denial is your first port of call.

Salmon has previously stated on these forums that he's not happy about his generals overall health (physical) and his general situation. He's still only young, and whilst certain things are out of his control (i.e his living situation, school) there are things he can do to change aspects of his life that will help not only his overall health but his mental health too. It may surprise but a few lifestyle choices can go a long way in assisting this. Becoming fitter, will not only increase his physical health, it will increase his attractiveness to not only himself but others. With become fitter and both mentally and physically stronger, it will increase his confidence, which in turn will allow his social life to develop. Allowing his social life to develop will help with his depression and anxiety. When he becomes a bit older and more mature he can start focusing on the issues in his life which are affecting him that are currently out of his control. Right now though there's a lot he can be doing for himself. I don't know the kid personally, but from what I can see through here on the forums and his contributions through the facebook chat he really needs to start grabbing life by the balls instead of letting everybody else do the heavy lifting.

Yes, I'm not psychiatrist or shrink. I have a degree in Social Science which is really a poor, poor mans psychology but its simple causation.

Edited by Heineken: 1/4/2016 05:11:11 PM

You need to ditch that attitude ASAP, I'm sure it's not even true for the most part. For the things that can't be changed, fixed, or removed, you need to learn how to accept that and live with it, and for the rest you need to actively work towards changing it. Mental illness sucks, but it can be managed successfully.
You should be proud of yourself for seeing the GP and therapist though, it's a hard step to take, but it's important.

As someone who also has diagnosed anxiety and depression, seeing a professional is key. And don't just settle for the first one you go to, if you don't seem to gel with them, look for someone else. Try finding recommendations from others where possible. Personally I don't like taking drugs for my problems (which is an awfully difficult stance to take, and I don't recommend it), so I had to find someone who was willing to work with me in other ways to manage my mental health. It's all about the right fit.

Advice on how to better yourself from people online, whilst well meaning, doesn't necessarily work (and can sometimes hinder.) One person's experience varies from another, as does understanding of mental health (ie: so many people think depression is just "being sad a lot", which it patently isn't.) Hence the need for the psych. They have a much broader understanding of what's going on. By all means try things to make yourself feel better, but make sure it's supplemental to professional help.

Well said =d>

It's thoughts like that that allow your depression and anxiety to flourish. Only you can change yourself, but you have to be willing to change. It's not use saying 'sure I'll do something', then not doing anything. Starting an exercise program will help. Exercise released endorphin in the brain which make you feel better. Hit a gym, jump on a bike, go for as 5km walk. Small steps lead to bigger ones. Don't let negative thoughts enter your mind, the moment they do think of the ultimate goal you're looking to achieve. It won't happen in a week, it won't happen in a month. Rome wasn't built in a day, but each step forward is a step closer to achieving your goals.

I'm just worried that I can't actually do anything about it as most of the things causing my depression can't be fixed, changed or removed from my life and the anxiety is comorbid with another affliction.

Chin up. Doing something about it is the best thing.

WGMG: Saw a GP to get a referral for a therapist, she believes that I have depression AND anxiety.

Yippee ](*,)

The actual details the bank wanted wasnt as much as i expected it was just been my boss being a fucking huge cunthole and then my broker just kept on changing things when i couldn't just done it in one hit. Literally today could've taken 15 minutes but took a total of 5 hours of real simple stuff.
Hopefully it will be a bit easier from here. If i can get a little more control ill be happy.

Oh trust me tHat is nothing. My broker kept on calling me and my wife for 3 months because the bank was being super anal. It was much much worse 10 15 years ago. Now they are less anal. We got our loan 4 years ago and the hoops were exactly like yours

So much more rant...

Today i got the call from the broker "employer letter needs to be redone" turns out the employers name on bank deposit includes her middle name but the letter didn't. So i changed that and then i ran out of printer ink.
Run off to inlaws
climb over fence,
climb through window,
charge their laptop
get it printed out and go out locking front door.
10km drive to work, get bosses signature 10km home. Scan. Email.
Returned email, gross income different on payslips than letter. So have to change it on letter (it was the same as in bank account)
So i had to repeat all those steps again... 2 more time for really fucked up things... i went into a blind rage, at one point i screamed so fucking loud i was amazed. By the way after the 2nd run i didn't lock the front door.
Got it done and emailed.
2 hours later i got another email.
We got a conditional approval for our loan... woohoo just a little thing that has to be tied up that has nothing to do with us.

So i guess for now. This situation isn't grinding my gears!

This is me too :lol:

You certainly take your time between drinks.:lol:

So many roadblocks it is ridiculous. I understand all the things the bank wants.
The next (reoccurring) issue is that i asked for some real payslips from my boss 3 months ago and then from 6 weeks ago i have repeatedly asked her for them. The payslips that you get from the newsagents are not good enough and then when you only handwrite... my first name... the date (sometime) and the amount im bring paid, no pay rate, tax withheld, super etc.
So i cracked it after we got the call the other day from the broker saying the bank wants the proper payslips, i saw my boss and pleaded with her and then she said she could get my payslips mid march when the bookkeeper has completed the bas statement i fucking went crazy... i needed them by 3pm to get them to the broker then to the bank before closing.
I resigned myself to not getting them officially.
9pm tonight.
Email inbox
Payslips
Fucking bitch.

My broker could sell Ice to the eskimos... hence why we got sucked in... hopefully he can fast track stuff with the bank and get the land developer to hold our FINAL deadline by a day or so... if we get the loan.
Fuuuuuuuuck!

WGMG: Being so useless at studying that I end up on forums..

Thats fucked but dtay the course its worth it

WGMG: Treatment resistant depression.