That joke has been done to death.

Nobody cares dude. Move on.

Tevez returns as 'Tevez the White'

MYSTICAL striker Carlos Tevez has made a miraculous return to Manchester City claiming to be a more powerful incarnation of his former self.


'I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor and I want 250 grand a week'

The enigmatic forward materialised outside the gates of the Carrington Complex yesterday, wearing flowing blanched gowns and a white training cone as a hat.

The Argentinian then declared he was no longer 'Tevez the Grey' but 'Tevez the White' and requested his shirt be rebadged accordingly.

The previous incarnation of Tevez was last seen in October where it bravely sacrificed itself for its team mates by refusing to come on as a substitute against Bayern Munich.

Tevez was instructed by manager Roberto Mancini to stretch the opposition by playing Nasri in from the wing but responded by bellowing 'I cannot pass!' before falling into shadow.

A club spokesman said: "Down and down he fell until not even Paris St Germain would take him.

"He was then rescued by the agent Kia Joorabchain who told him the secrets of the ancient ways and then advised him to bleach his tracksuit."

The return of Tevez is likely to upset fellow striker Mario Balotelli who attempted to become a wizard last year by dyeing his hair bright yellow and letting off fireworks in his house.