With apologies to Melbityguy and his excellent thread here:

Back in the day InsideSport magazine (what's a magazine Boomer?) used to run a 'no risk' predictions article at the beginning of the year as a pisstake of the sports world.

Here's my 'no risk predictions' for the A-League.  Feel free to add as many as you like.

Teams continue to play in oversized, cavernous shitholes yet again.
Macarthur and Western United crowds cause people to look back with nostalgia at the last season of the NSL.
Mono to shoehorn SMFC into as many threads as he can. (100+ I'm going for in the first 3 months.)
Eurosnobs continue to pour a bucket of shit on the league.
Refs to cop criticism all out of whack with reality because (a) players and managers don't know the rules, (b) fans don't know the rules, (c) even the refs aren't sure of the rules (see handball interpretations.)
One flare at a stadium leads to journalists equating it with the coming of the apocalypse.
A second division is not established.
Promotion and relegation is as distant as ever.
Sydney to cop ref / FA / A-League 'favouritism' claims for the umpeenth time since the league started.
Some young gun will be called the next Harry Kewell only to take a contract O/S and end up being loaned out to the Bulgarian 3rd division.

Hahahahahahha .... here are my 100% No risk predictions:
* Ill be a SM Hellas member for life (only 99 to go)
* No matter where any of the teams finish on the table they will ALL be back again next year.
* When 100s of thousands of fans don't pack the stadium to watch Sturridge play it will be the fault of the AFL/NRL bias in the media
* WU STILL wont have planning approval for their Werribee Wembley in 2023.
* Somehow ethnicity will STILL be brought up as the reason for soccer in Australia not being mainstream.
* The Socceroos will fail to qualify for Qatar by "the thickness of a goalpost" but it wont be FA or Arnie's fault, somehow.

VAR will be just as frustrating as it has been for the last few seasons.

The risk is probably going back to the over reliance on journeymen and seeing less young players play again and the risk free football which has come accustomed to this league in the last few years apart from last season.

City to finish top three while CCM to finish bottom three.

Jamie Maclaren to win the golden boot.

Sub007 calling for Carl Veart to be sacked at some point.

James Troisi to make an anti-vax post on social media.

An uneven shit fixture list will be trotted out again prioritising 'metrics' over fairness and purity.
(sub-section b). Some teams will play some other teams twice before they play another team once. 

I mean what the fuck, how can we not get this right?

Relegation battle to be as fierce as ever
Robbie Kruse to be injured for the season within the first 2 games
Mainstream australian news to only break stories that shit on aus football and it's teams
A league to be lost into oblivion on 10's secondary channels and Paramount plus app that makes myspace look modern

The number of teams plays a huge part in that. There’s talk of further expansion so hopefully we get a 14 team league with each team playing 2 games against each opponent which gets us a 26 game season (which we have now).

How is a 26-round season enough games ?

What a joke.

i noticed the misery guts are at it again posting negative shit.

-       This will be the most successful season in 5-6 years in terms of key metrics (ie. crowds and TV ratings).
-       ACT team and 2 tier to be made official.
-       Tarneit Stadium constructions starts.

Chris Beath to upset all being he's on the SFC payroll :)
The amount of passing back makes for great possesion stats and commentary.
Archie will drive most nuts and to the mute button.
Kruse agreed injured in no time and Rojas
Studge may follow :(
DDS will shine for Bulls.
Elvis has left the building and will shine for SFC
Ziggy Gordon will be the same train wreck, Dimi will think WTF
@ 38 Diamanti will still show up most on the pitch
Jets will have their engine fail

Greg O'Rourke to keep his job despite crowds dropping every year he's been there

90% of pre season predictions will have the Nix in last place.

Bump.

Every prediction still valid.

(We did qualify for Qatar though Mono. Though we did come close to missing out.)

- the a league will be here next year despite all the turmoil
- the nst will get a crowd average between 1.5 and 2.5k
- Irankunda will get around 4 games for the reserves and probably as many sub appearances for bayern but this will be ok for his career stage

Adelaide will be shit next season 

I will finally finish my club database on Google Earth

Paramount to exit the TV deal this off-season. APL to open streaming service directly because no one other options. 
One game per week on SBS for nothing to keep at least some FTA eyeballs. Popovic to China.
Melbourne Victory to break with policy and appoint coach who can produce a team that doesn't play like valium in football boots... 

I want the ABC to get the A-league rights.... Only to be hosted by that young Asian bloke with glasses. He has to be the lead commentator too LoL