Yeap, my mate with red hair has officially been turned down through FB messages via my other mate. This 'chick' said that she 'just wouldn't think it'd work out', don't worry, we know it's only because of his red hair :twisted:

Don't be 'wanker' confident. That turns girls off. I knew a guy who was like 'I can fight anyone and fuck them up.' Everyone thought he was a rapist :lol:

Be charming, it has always worked for me.

Managed to actually sleep alright last night surprisingly.

Still feel shit though. I don't know how much more of this I can take farken.

Forget her. I know its easier said then done but within time you'll feel better.

There was a girl I was mad about and she dumped me and I was massively depressed. But I just went about my life not thinking about her. It gets better within time.

Now she is obese and my current women who I've been with for years now it fit :cool:

'don't think about her', you can seriously just shut a person out of your thought whenever you want?

Edited by catbert: 20/12/2011 10:51:53 AM

Being a dick doesnt work. Being nice doesnt work.

No what I'm saying is just don't sit around and mope all day about it. You can't just shut it off. Stimulate your mind.

Maybe I need to go back and re-read the situation, but I still think you're making a mistake by allowing human stubbornness to halt any progress on making things OK.

KT Tip Number 4: Go to the gym. Girls don't want guys who don't lift.

KT is a worse love doctor than Scouse :D

Though getting love tips from forumers isn't probably the best way to go about it:P

Yeah I'm trying not to. I'm not indulging myself and always thinking about it.

Notor - do me a favour and read over it again, I want to see what you think after reading it all. I respect your opinion. If you have time :P

Lost my shit.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I think I may have missed the context the first time around - on second read it definitely sounds like she broke up with you, but hasn't really explained her reasoning and it came as a shock to you because you were both very happy up until that point.

Essentially right now you are in no-mans-land, it's a very dangerous place to be because you can potentially come out looking like a victim or a dick to all your mutual friends depending on what you do.

I'm not sure if you were using the L word or not in this stage in your relationship, but on second reading of the situation this is what I would do:

-Give her a call, it's likely she won't pick up so have your voicemail message prepared.
-Leave a message: "Hey, I know you're in a bad place right now... but I just want you to know that I love you/care for you (depending on what stage you are at) a lot and would like to work things out. If you don't want to talk about it, I'm sad but accept your decision and wish you a good life."
-Send her a text message: "Hey, I left you a voicemail. Would appreciate it if you would listen to it. Thanks"

By leaving a subtle ultimatum, there can be zero doubt about who ended the relationship. If you don't get any reply within 7 days, you can pretty safely say it's over. After a month or so you can get back into the scene without looking like a dick to people outside the relationship looking in.

Thanks for that man. And it's definitely something I was planning on doing if I heard nothing for like a week.

I will give her a call if I haven't heard anything for the next 3-4 days, because I'll need to know whether she wants to mend this. And that's what it comes down to. I really do want her to know that I want to fix these fragments and put it all back together but maybe stubbornness and pride is stopping me. But surely she must know that I want to fix it... why would I want to throw this away? Why would SHE want to throw it away!? I still don't understand :lol:

I agree on the whole dangerous place to be, hence me not really doing anything. I've been very calm about it and not going to be a dick to her because that will make me look like an asshole and I'm not.

Women are so fucking complicated. FFS

Depends on the length of the first one.


Another day down, another day of zero contact between me and her. And now she's blocked me from seeing her FB statuses. Only noticed it because I was on my brothers one. Fucking fuck. Anger starting to seep through the sadness, shock and caring. How the fuck can she do this.

I mean... I don't need this. I don't need this in my life. Life's too short to put up with shit like this. I can be unhappy without her, I don't need her to make it worse.

After 4 years of being single, I'd almost forgotten how horrible, frustrating, devastating, hurtful, irritating, cold-hearted, confusing, heart-crushingly painful relationships can be. Nice to get a reminder.

Only one girl has ever shown genuine interest in me and I've now been with her for 28 months.

Imno: End it now. Idk if you have or not, but end it now. Otherwise I reckon you'll regret getting so hung up on her.



Oh and another thing, some advice someone told me ages ago that I'm sure sure on the validity of. You know how girls apparently like assholes? They don't. They like the guys who can stand up for themselves and don't suck up to other people or pander to others needs. The definition of asshole in this case is someone independent who whilst being kind, has the balls to stand up for themselves and put themselves and the girl first.

I always thought that made sense.

Edited by ual: 20/12/2011 11:10:24 PM

Yeah. I'm not good at letting things go :lol: I know I should just walk away... it may be out of my control anyway.

Well at least this way if she actually totally ends it then I won't be totally devastating as I'm thinking about doing the same anyway.

But this is the thing... I don't want to throw away something that was so amazing over just one stupid little fucking thing. I mean she's totally exacerbated it and turned it into a real problem but I mean... fuck. :lol:

The not knowing is the worst part. I know somewhere in her head, I know SOMEWHERE in there she HAS to miss me. She has to. She can't have forgotten how happy I made her. Some part of her wants to fix this. But I don't know if that part of her is big enough. FUCK.




I'll be alright. I'll manage.

Tomorrow night I'll do something. I don't know what. I'll take some action. I'm certainly not carrying this into the New Year, would be a shit way to start. I'll resolve it one way or the other.

If that part isn't the biggest part by some way, end it. If she can do it once she can do it again and it won't feel any better next time round.

Yeah. But I think if it happened again it wouldn't play out like this. First of all, if she DOES come back I'll make it fucking clear that this reaction is unacceptable, you have to deal with your issues better. And I think she'd get better at dealing with them

AND if it DID happen again I would have an easier time walking away. But the fact this all happened so quickly it's like it's ending so abruptly. If it happened twice it's an indicator of a recurring issue and I'd be like, fuck that :lol:

Yeah fair enough. It has to worked on as a case-by-case thing, so it's all down to you really. Plus I'm probably the worst person on these boards to take advice from about dodgy relationships seeing as I've only been in one and it's still going :lol:

Yeah.

Ok I'm gonna try to get some sleep again...

Even if this all falls to pieces I know it's not all bad. First of all I'm a songwriter so stuff like this is great (already come up with a couple of great songs) and second of all, anything like this is a chance to learn. I know I'll mature and gain knowledge from this. I'll be better off for next time this kind of thing comes up (hopefully never :lol:)

Goodnight FFT, thank you for putting up with my ranting.

Sometimes it's better to get it off your chest, than bottle all those feelings up.

Hope it works out. You're a top bloke and deserve better than that. :)

What's a cooling off period? \:d/

Poor call. [-x

Clearly my opinion doesn't count for as much as others, but I reckon you should call her as soon as possible imno. Surely it's better knowing one way or another, and the sooner you get it done, the more you can relax leading up to Christmas and everything.

Shit! I missed a whole day of ranting? :p

From reading the above I agree with KC, call her. BUT you should call her to end it. Abuse the fuck out of her for dealing with this the way she has and tell her bluntly how she has made you feel. I know you had some good times, but she isn't worth it.

I'll call you later ;)