The RedKat & Joffa Useless Article Thread


The RedKat & Joffa Useless Article Thread

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marconi101
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Spam away boys

He was a man of specific quirks. He believed that all meals should be earned through physical effort. He also contended, zealously like a drunk with a political point, that the third dimension would not be possible if it werent for the existence of water.

ual
ual
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Beat me to it :(
General Ashnak
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3rded, needs to be a sticky I feel.

The thing about football - the important thing about football - is its not just about football.
- Sir Terry Pratchett in Unseen Academicals
For pro/rel in Australia across the entire pyramid, the removal of artificial impediments to the development of the game and its players.
On sabbatical Youth Coach and formerly part of The Cove FC

ual
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RedKat wrote:
Totally feeling the love right now!


Less like love, more a reluctant acceptance that you nor Joffa will ever give up.
Funky Munky
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If I Edit the title to "Random News Thread" and sticky it, will people use it?
ual
ual
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I would. If I ever felt the need to share shitty news stories with the rest of you. Which I rarely do :P
imnofreak
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I approve of this thread.
Joffa
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:-" :-" :-"
Jong Gabe
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Each article should have its own thread.

E

zimbos_05
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what have you done.
Joffa
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The Joffa, does not post useless articles![-x

Edited by Joffa: 14/6/2012 10:52:14 PM
Davstar
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:cool:

Edited by Davstar: 14/6/2012 10:53:00 PM

these Kangaroos can play football - 
Ange P. (Intercontinental WC Play-offs 2017) 

KEEP POLITICS OUT OF FOOTBALL

martyB
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I disapprove of the name change.
Benjo
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Funky Munky wrote:
If I Edit the title to "Random News Thread" and sticky it, will people use it?

Didn't we used to have a similar thread ecept no one used it?
marconi101
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It's either sticky this thread or have to put up with stupid articles which no-one gives a fuck about

He was a man of specific quirks. He believed that all meals should be earned through physical effort. He also contended, zealously like a drunk with a political point, that the third dimension would not be possible if it werent for the existence of water.

rocknerd
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Does anyone see the irony, that there are no news articles in this thread?
rocknerd
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Does anyone see the irony, that there are no news articles in this thread?
Vison
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Alright let kick things off :d

Quote:

Aussie caught in middle of Chris Brown club brawl, flying bottle cracks open her head

AN Australian woman was left with a nasty head wound after she was caught in the middle of a nightclub brawl between Chris Brown and rapper Drake.

The woman, known so far as Hollie C, aged 24, was at the chic SoHo nightclub W.i.P. when she was hit in the head by a flying bottle. According to some reports, she received 16 stitches in the right side of her forehead.

Witnesses said Brown was hit in the face with a bottle after a fight broke between the two musicians' entourages.

The singers have had a long-running feud over Drake’s brief relationship with Rihanna after she broke-up with Brown.

When they met at WIP club, Brown is thought to have sent a bottle of champagne to Drake's table as a peace offering.

The bottle was reported returned with a note: “I'm f***ing the love of your life, deal with it."

Some reports claim rapper Meek Mill, a friend of Drake's, started harassing Brown about Rhianna.

Hollie C told TMZ she was struck by a flying bottle: "Within a few moments of noticing glass being thrown around, I saw a glass bottle headed towards me; consequently hitting me in the head. I immediately started to bleed and proceeded to fall in and out of consciousness."


Broken glass covers the floor of the chic SoHo nightclub W.i.P. after Brown and Drake's entourages rumbled. Picture: Twitter

She was taken to hospital and received 16 stitches and a tetanus shot.

"I had to take the subway home with no money or jacket. Nobody would even sit beside me. My friends were so scared because they did not know where I was."

Brown tweeted a photo after the fight showing a cut on his chin. According to reports, he also tweeted: "How u party with rich n***** that hate? Lol....Throwing bottles like girls? #shameonya!"

He later removed the photo and the message but his representative later released a statement saying Brown, his girlfriend and friends were the victims of a brutal attack.
Police said a 25-year-old man suffered a serious cut to the head, two men and two women suffered minor cuts and at least three were hospitalised.

NYPD spokesman Lieutenant John Grimpel told news.com.au: "She's 24. She is from Australia visiting and she’s leaving on Monday. She had a minor cut to her head.

"She’s a victim right now, so she’s been interviewed."

Brown split with Rihanna in February 2009 after he assaulted her in a violent row before the Grammy awards.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/chris-brown-bottled-after-row-with-drake-over-rihanna/story-e6frfmqi-1226396155804#ixzz1xpOrFFYd

Vison
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Quote:
Sydney bus driver who perved on schoolgirls, jailed

A bus driver who installed a spy camera to film up the skirts of hundreds of schoolgirls will spend at least nine months in jail.

Sentencing Takuya Koaze, 48, in the Downing Centre Local Court today, Magistrate Michael Price said he had filmed "many unwitting victims" after he bought a spy camera in Japan and installed it on a Sydney Transport bus.

"An aggravating factor clearly has to be (the victims') vulnerability by virtue of their age," Mr Price said, adding it was not an impulsive or isolated event.

"This is a serious pattern of criminal behaviour, more particularly because it was planned."

Koaze had pleaded guilty to three counts of filming people's private parts to obtain sexual arousal, while working as a bus driver.

Police found more than 2500 images and over 60 minutes of footage of girls, some of whom appeared to be as young as 10 or 11.

The images focused on the victims' legs, buttocks and genital area.

Earlier Koaze told the court he had made a "terrible mistake" and he apologised to his victims.

Koaze's mother told the court she continues to support her son and their relationship has grown stronger since the charges were laid.

"After this incidence he began to realise that is not a preferable hobby," Setsoko Koaze said.

Ms Koaze added that her son had turned to religion and was going to marry.

Mr Price said it was clear Koaze, who the court heard has a high IQ, suffered from "some social discomfort".

"It's apparent to the court that you regret your actions," he said.

He sentenced Koaze to one year's imprisonment with a non-probation period of nine months.

http://www.news.com.au/national/sydney-bus-driver-filmed-up-skirts-jailed/story-e6frfkvr-1226396998126#ixzz1xrMSCCcG

zimbos_05
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i thought this was for Redkat and Joffa......now Vison tooo????
MaxiiGCU
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RedKat wrote:
So what really is wrong with Joffa and I keeping ET active?

Keeping ET active? Lol. The majority of your posts don't even get past one page long and they would all be much more suited to a single thread. That way we don't have important threads, like the Roundtable ones, pushed to pages 2 and 3 of ET because of your useless articles.

Edited by MaxiiGCU: 16/6/2012 01:34:45 PM
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RedKat wrote:
Quote:
Woman, 63, 'becomes pregnant in the mouth' with baby squid after eating calamari
Daily Mail June 16, 2012 10:06AM 12 comments
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A 63-year-old woman became 'pregnant' with 12 baby squid after eating calamari, according to a claim in a bio-tech report.

The real-life 'octo-mum', from South Korea, was eating a portion of cooked whole squid when she felt a sharp pain in her mouth.

The bizarre claim has been made in a scientific paper from the National Center for Biotechnology Information in Bethesda, Maryland.

Most bizarre: Fish found in boy's penis

The lady told doctors that she could feel something in her mouth which they described as 'bug-like organisms'.

When examined, the doctors found 'baby cephalopods' attached to her mouth. These are small pods, covered in a cement-like material to make them stick.

Related Coverage

That's a tough way to earn a squid The Daily Telegraph, 9 days ago
This monster's not the full squid Herald Sun, 10 days ago
Tough way for anglers to earn a squid Adelaide Now, 4 Jun 2012
You must be squidding The Australian, 12 May 2012
Octopus is eight times the enjoyment The Daily Telegraph, 19 Feb 2012
nside the pods is an 'ejaculatory apparatus' and sperm - with the apparatus expelling the sperm quite forcefully.

After the victim of the 'attack' was hospitalised, doctors removed the baby cephalopods from her gums, tongue and cheek. It was only then that the pods were formally identified as 'squid spermatophores.'

The Center's paper says: 'She did not swallow the portion, but spat it out immediately. She complained of a pricking and foreign-body sensation in the oral cavity.

'Twelve small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva [gums] were completely removed, along with the affected mucosa.

'On the basis of their morphology and the presence of the sperm bag, the foreign bodies were identified as squid spermatophores.'

According to Science 2.0, a spermatophore is similar to a cup of semen.

The site adds that there is still mystery around how spermatophores are implanted into the skin.

A similar case was reported in December last year when a woman in Japan suffered severe pains in her mouth after eating raw squid.

She took the remaining piece of squid with her to the Tosei General Hospital, the NCBI reports, and sperm bags were removed.

Incidents involving the impregnation of human mouths appear to be confined to the Far East where, generally, more raw fish is eaten.

When squid is prepared in the west, internal organs are removed meaning there is no risk of eating spermatophores.

Danna Staaf, a squid enthusiast from Science 2.0, said: 'The skin on your hands, and most of the rest of your body, is much too thick to get stuck.

'I've probably had hundreds of spermatophores ejaculate on my fingers and never felt a sting.'

According to the Biological Bulletin 'Spermatophores are either transferred to the female by the male's hectocotylus, a specialised arm, or by a long penis, which is present in species that lack hectocotyli.

'After being discharged from the spermatophore in the spermatophoric reaction, the sperm mass is encased in a thin covering, with the cement body at one end.

'This discharged structure, the spermatangium, may attach to the skin of the female or be deeply embedded in her skin or muscle.'

The reproduction of deep-sea squids is still something of a mystery simply because their habitat is hard to get to.
http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/woman-63-becomes-pregnant-in-the-mouth-with-baby-squid-after-eating-calamari/story-e6freuy9-1226397361054


:-& :-& :-& :-& :-& :-&
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Woah, woah, woah. Just hang on a second...

RedKat wrote:
[quote]Woman, 63, 'becomes pregnant in the mouth' with baby squid after eating calamari
Daily Mail June 16, 2012 10:06AM 12 comments
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A 63-year-old woman became 'pregnant' with 12 baby squid after eating calamari, according to a claim in a bio-tech report.

The real-life 'octo-mum', from South Korea, was eating a portion of cooked whole squid when she felt a sharp pain in her mouth.

The bizarre claim has been made in a scientific paper from the National Center for Biotechnology Information in Bethesda, Maryland.

Most bizarre: Fish found in boy's penis


wut!?
Gooner4life_8
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How the fuck does something that big get inside there with out you feeling anything or noticing anything!? More to the point, who the fuck takes a piss while holding a fish in their hand!?
Blue&White
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More so how the fuck does a fish slip into your penis!?
MVFCSouthEnder
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Some of these articles are horror movie material...
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[youtube]QQWgUht-ObI[/youtube]
;_;

Edited by SpawningSalmon: 16/6/2012 08:54:15 PM
Gooner4life_8
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Not sure... is it safe to press play on that YT video?
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Blue&White wrote:
More so how the fuck does a fish slip into your penis!?


There's a fish in the Amazon that can swim up your penis...apparently.
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RedKat wrote:
Any way to make that image smaller or just hyperlink to the image. stretching out the thread heaps

i dont want to even think about how a fish would get up there


I've had it explained to me. If you're in the Amazon river and you're having a pee whilst in the river, this particular kind of fish swims through the open hole and... well... lodges itself up there. One excruciatingly painful op later, and it's out.
GO


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