"a straw-man argument that an e-bike is a motorbike, because it is a bike with a motor."
That's not really a straw-man... (Technically e-bikes are mopeds.)
Running on electricity and not petrol makes zero difference. There are electric motorcycles and mopeds, and there are petrol-assist systems for bicycles. The type of motor doesn't make it "not" a motorized vehicle.
The no throttle depends on the e-bike. Many do have throttles, (and you can already by kits to add them to non-throttle setups.)
Even the main companies, (Specialized etc) have bikes giving you a lot more than 200watts max output on a climb. Specialized Turbo Levos give you up to 530 watts, and if you go buy a Luna Cycle setup? You can get 2500 watts. (That's over 3 horsepower if you are counting, not including what you put out which if you are a strong rider is about 1000w on a climb for a short burst.)
The reality is that you base a lot of your points on inaccurate information.
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