Sebastian Ryall opens up on mental health issues - 'How To Die Today'


Sebastian Ryall opens up on mental health issues - 'How To Die Today'

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"Do they know how I was deceived by this dumb young girl, who’s ruined my life? Nope. Do they care? Nope," Ryall wrote. "There is a reason why in the justice system the person is presumed innocent until proven guilty, because that’s fair. What I experienced on that day wasn’t fair.

"And to make it worse I had already been deemed innocent of such a terrible crime. I had never hurt anyone in my life, but after that day I was out to hurt myself in any way I could. I f---ing hated that those lowlife people thought I was something I wasn’t.

"That day ruined me and it took two suicide attempts before I eventually got over it."

https://amp.smh.com.au/sport/soccer/how-to-die-today-former-sydney-star-reveals-mental-health-battle-20191108-p538va.html?fbclid=IwAR3u2hTAXanU5Yj6J-gov1XOJlwj44tgneF-SaTDck5omyzvR0jQHDO20gU

Great Article 

Link to the book

"How to die today"
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At least Sydney FC stuck with him after the charges were dropped, just wouldn’t happen these days with the whole ‘Me too’, “men are guilty until proven innocent” thing.  

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Just today discovered that a friend of a friend has taken his own life. You can never just tell when somebody is depressed or suicidal.

Football fans are cruel because its so easy to dehumanise them, especially when they play for a team you dislike.  Perhaps he was right to quit if it has helped him get his life on track. 

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sydneyfc1987 - 8 Nov 2019 9:45 PM
Just today discovered that a friend of a friend has taken his own life. You can never just tell when somebody is depressed or suicidal.

Football fans are cruel because its so easy to dehumanise them, especially when they play for a team you dislike.  Perhaps he was right to quit if it has helped him get his life on track. 

Here here. 
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josh sydneyfc - 8 Nov 2019 10:16 PM
sydneyfc1987 - 8 Nov 2019 9:45 PM

Here here. 

Tough read , keyboard warriors hammering young kids .
good on Seb for putting this mainstream , maybe people might think first .
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notarobot - 8 Nov 2019 10:20 PM
josh sydneyfc - 8 Nov 2019 10:16 PM

Tough read , keyboard warriors hammering young kids .
good on Seb for putting this mainstream , maybe people might think first .

Lol, probably a poor choice of words 
Edited
6 Years Ago by 433
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433 - 8 Nov 2019 10:35 PM
notarobot - 8 Nov 2019 10:20 PM

Lol, probably a poor choice of words 

Well done ........you win the forum tonight 
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433 - 8 Nov 2019 10:35 PM
notarobot - 8 Nov 2019 10:20 PM

Lol, probably a poor choice of words 

lololololol

how funny is suicide hey bro 

What a fucking hero....



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sydneyfc1987 - 8 Nov 2019 11:43 PM
433 - 8 Nov 2019 10:35 PM

lololololol

how funny is suicide hey bro 

What a fucking hero....


Yeah it's fucking hilarious, why do you ask?
Edited
6 Years Ago by 433
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433 - 9 Nov 2019 12:00 AM
sydneyfc1987 - 8 Nov 2019 11:43 PM

Yeah it's fucking hilarious, why do you ask?

Alt-right douchebag. 

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sydneyfc1987 - 9 Nov 2019 12:17 AM
433 - 9 Nov 2019 12:00 AM

Alt-right douchebag. 

Erm, think you've got the wrong person - I'm a pinko. 



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433 - 9 Nov 2019 12:23 AM
sydneyfc1987 - 9 Nov 2019 12:17 AM

Erm, think you've got the wrong person - I'm a pinko. 



Yeah pinko by day, alt-right in reality.

Only an alt-right - oops, I just ate my own poop... would gloat about that sort of thing.

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sydneyfc1987 - 9 Nov 2019 12:26 AM
433 - 9 Nov 2019 12:23 AM

Yeah pinko by day, alt-right in reality.

Only an alt-right - oops, I just ate my own poop... would gloat about that sort of thing.

Lol ok brah, I honestly don't even know what you're referring to. I just made fun of the phrasing of his post, nothing related to Seb himself at all.

Chillout, it's only the internet. 
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sydneyfc1987 - 9 Nov 2019 12:17 AM
433 - 9 Nov 2019 12:00 AM

Alt-right douchebag. 

I agree it’s not a joke telling environment but where the hell does you calling him alt-right come into this? You remind me of those lefty’s who as soon as they lose the argument. They yell NAZI.
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notarobot - 8 Nov 2019 10:20 PM
josh sydneyfc - 8 Nov 2019 10:16 PM

Tough read , keyboard warriors hammering young kids .
good on Seb for putting this mainstream , maybe people might think first .

You're not going to like this tweet then.

https://twitter.com/4EverBlue69/status/1192536928954060800?s=19



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hames_jetfield - 9 Nov 2019 4:30 PM
notarobot - 8 Nov 2019 10:20 PM

You're not going to like this tweet then.

https://twitter.com/4EverBlue69/status/1192536928954060800?s=19

ROFL
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sydneyfc1987 - 8 Nov 2019 9:45 PM
Just today discovered that a friend of a friend has taken his own life. 

That sucks mate. 

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Mental health issues are extremely complicated to overcome and it’s good he is telling his story. 
The part I don’t understand is why he would try and bring GA into it like that. Even if he feels GA didn’t support him enough, to go on and continue to dig deeper into what was achieved really seems like a pointless attention seeking exercise. 

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Firstly I'll say Depression is a serious issue, Toxic masculinity, especially within sports communities can lead to men not talking about mental health so its great to have sportsmen speak out about mental health issues. Thats all great, take nothing away from seb there. 

But holy fucking shit it is just so gross that someone could call a 13 year old girl who was the victim of at least some degree of statutory sexual assault or at-the-least predatory behaviour, a "dumb young girl" who "deceived" him.

You admit to at least kissing a bloody thirteen year old FFS! Maybe think about the cultural pressures that lead to teen/tween girls thinking their only value is as an object of desire before you just mouth off against a child saying they "deceived" you. She went to the police, so at least something you did was wrong enough for her to put herself through that!

No-one goes to the police for fun, it's absolutely one of the worst experiences imaginable to have to deal with police when you're a victim of sexual assault. Women are every step of the way shamed and forced to defend their actions and are often met by police who refuse to believe them. Under-reporting of sexual assault and rape is an enormous social issue! I've seen research that like 9/10 instances of sexual harassment still go unreported. False accusations do occur, but for every one false accusation theres 50 real accusations and 50 attacks that are never reported.

We need to do everything we can to support and trust victims of rape and childhood sexual assault, what we don't need is adult men using their platform as a professional footballer to attack a child for reporting what she thought was a crime against her. The charges against you were dropped! You, as a celebrity, kissed (and potentially more) a child. If she lied then justice was served and it's her reputation that was ruined. How are you the one still complaining?

How do you think a different 13yo, one who was pressured into sex acts or to kiss a celebrity, would react when reading seb's words? they would only be further discouraged from seeking justice. Thats just about the worst outcome imaginable. It's okay to talk about how the incident effected you seb, it's not okay to drag it up to call the victim dumb and bang on about being deceived.

I think it's gross of Ryall to use his platform to attack the victim like this. It's gross of his editor to leave that in the book and its gross of 442 (and whoever else) to repeat his words. 
Edited
6 Years Ago by HighTimes
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[quote]
HighTimes - 8 Nov 2019 11:59 PM
Firstly I'll say Depression is a serious issue, Toxic masculinity, especially within sports communities can lead to men not talking about mental health so its great to have sportsmen speak out about mental health issues. Thats all great, take nothing away from seb there. 

But holy fucking shit it is just so gross that someone could call a 13 year old girl who was the victim of at least some degree of statutory sexual assault or at-the-least predatory behaviour, a "dumb young girl" who "deceived" him.

 If she lied then justice was served and it's her reputation that was ruined. How are you the one still complaining?


Pretty sure despite the fact he was found not guilty his life has been ruined also, so much so he tried to kill himself. 



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HighTimes - 8 Nov 2019 11:59 PM
Firstly I'll say Depression is a serious issue, Toxic masculinity, especially within sports communities can lead to men not talking about mental health so its great to have sportsmen speak out about mental health issues. Thats all great, take nothing away from seb there. 

But holy fucking shit it is just so gross that someone could call a 13 year old girl who was the victim of at least some degree of statutory sexual assault or at-the-least predatory behaviour, a "dumb young girl" who "deceived" him.

You admit to at least kissing a bloody thirteen year old FFS! Maybe think about the cultural pressures that lead to teen/tween girls thinking their only value is as an object of desire before you just mouth off against a child saying they "deceived" you. She went to the police, so at least something you did was wrong enough for her to put herself through that!

No-one goes to the police for fun, it's absolutely one of the worst experiences imaginable to have to deal with police when you're a victim of sexual assault. Women are every step of the way shamed and forced to defend their actions and are often met by police who refuse to believe them. Under-reporting of sexual assault and rape is an enormous social issue! I've seen research that like 9/10 instances of sexual harassment still go unreported. False accusations do occur, but for every one false accusation theres 50 real accusations and 50 attacks that are never reported.

We need to do everything we can to support and trust victims of rape and childhood sexual assault, what we don't need is adult men using their platform as a professional footballer to attack a child for reporting what she thought was a crime against her. The charges against you were dropped! You, as a celebrity, kissed (and potentially more) a child. If she lied then justice was served and it's her reputation that was ruined. How are you the one still complaining?

How do you think a different 13yo, one who was pressured into sex acts or to kiss a celebrity, would react when reading seb's words? they would only be further discouraged from seeking justice. Thats just about the worst outcome imaginable. It's okay to talk about how the incident effected you seb, it's not okay to drag it up to call the victim dumb and bang on about being deceived.

I think it's gross of Ryall to use his platform to attack the victim like this. It's gross of his editor to leave that in the book and its gross of 442 (and whoever else) to repeat his words. 

Good post.


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Perhaps his second career should be as a Catholic priest.

Europe is funding the war not Chelsea football club

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dirkvanadidas - 9 Nov 2019 1:33 AM
Perhaps his second career should be as a Catholic priest.

Lol
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Makes you think how damaging chants can be....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H4MR4Il9JQc

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I'm glad Seb has been able to speak up and overcome his issues. It's terrible for anyone to want to commit suicide and hopefully people have enough of a support network around them to get them through it.

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Mental health isnt a joke. But in saying that the same people who critisize people who made jokes are the same people who gleefully joke about  Archie Thompson and his domestic dispute.  
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MvFCArsenal16.8 - 9 Nov 2019 9:16 AM
Mental health isnt a joke. But in saying that the same people who critisize people who made jokes are the same people who gleefully joke about  Archie Thompson and his domestic dispute.  

In a previous thread I accepted that it was wrong to do so at the time. As I said, we tend to dehumanise football players and treat them as fair game. 

Note that I said "football fans" can be cruel and didn't specifically point to MVFC fans. I am under no impression Sydney fans are any better. 


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sydneyfc1987 - 9 Nov 2019 9:31 AM
MvFCArsenal16.8 - 9 Nov 2019 9:16 AM

In a previous thread I accepted that it was wrong to do so at the time. As I said, we tend to dehumanise football players and treat them as fair game. 

Note that I said "football fans" can be cruel and didn't specifically point to MVFC fans. I am under no impression Sydney fans are any better. 

Oh i know ..look at how  some arsenal fans did and continue to so to xhaka.  Or  mustafi.   As someone who has mental health issues we still have a long way to go
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I can't say I can defend our chanting and I acknowledge mental health is a complicated issue... but I reckon Ryall and others quickly forgot how he stoked the fire in the diving incident with Gui Finkler. Made worse by the fact that he got off with it. This occured late in the 2014-15 season when he claims he went off the rails. Yes we gave it to him big time in the 2015 GF no doubt, but that whole diving incident was at the forefront for us.  

MvFCArsenal16.8 - 9 Nov 2019 9:16 AM
Mental health isnt a joke. But in saying that the same people who critisize people who made jokes are the same people who gleefully joke about  Archie Thompson and his domestic dispute.  

Yeah well The Cove have always been one to claim a slightly higher moral ground compared to most other supporter groups, but I'll never forget the "You should have died in the fires" chants in the first big blue after black saturday. my point being is that everyone is capable of being nasty, and those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. 

Edited
6 Years Ago by Feed_The_Brox
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Feed_The_Brox - 11 Nov 2019 9:27 AM
I can't say I can defend our chanting and I acknowledge mental health is a complicated issue... but I reckon Ryall and others quickly forgot how he stoked the fire in the diving incident with Gui Finkler. Made worse by the fact that he got off with it. This occured late in the 2014-15 season when he claims he went off the rails. Yes we gave it to him big time in the 2015 GF no doubt, but that whole diving incident was at the forefront for us.  

MvFCArsenal16.8 - 9 Nov 2019 9:16 AM

Yeah well The Cove have always been one to claim a slightly higher moral ground compared to most other supporter groups, but I'll never forget the "You should have died in the fires" chants in the first big blue after black saturday. my point being is that everyone is capable of being nasty, and those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. 

Still looking for the one post in this thread that singles out Victory fans.

No one is attacking you specifically as a fan group.  We're pretty much all guilty of this.


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Feed_The_Brox - 11 Nov 2019 9:27 AM
I can't say I can defend our chanting and I acknowledge mental health is a complicated issue... but I reckon Ryall and others quickly forgot how he stoked the fire in the diving incident with Gui Finkler. Made worse by the fact that he got off with it. This occured late in the 2014-15 season when he claims he went off the rails. Yes we gave it to him big time in the 2015 GF no doubt, but that whole diving incident was at the forefront for us.  

Yeah that was the biggest grub act I've ever seen from a player on-field, no sympathy from me after that. 
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I’m a big advocate for mental health and it’s really only the last 18 months where I’ve begun to understand it as it was rarely talked about 5 years ago so do appreciate his courage to come out.

Just for some clarity though...
I was always under the impression it was reported he received oral sex of said girl which is where the chant arised from.
Am I right in that smh and herald sun initially alluded it that way?



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aussie pride - 9 Nov 2019 9:32 AM

Just for some clarity though...
I was always under the impression it was reported he received oral sex of said girl which is where the chant arised from.
Am I right in that smh and herald sun initially alluded it that way?



100% the impression I had too.
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If Sebastian Ryall is going to call a 13 year old girl dumb, then he should be calling himself alot worse. 

If he wasn't out drinking and taking drugs, then maybe his judgement would have been much better and he wouldn't have mistaken a 13 year old for a 16 year old. 

However, considering he took that much drugs, and even worse the bad drinking habits only 1 day before games, he performed pretty good. It makes you wonder how much better he would have been if he wasn't so dumb. 

These days too many people like to take the easy option which is to simply blame others. You're a footballer ffs so opposition fans will chant anything to get you off your game. Instead of letting those chants get to you how about being fucking positive and focusing on all the positive chants coming from the fans who like you being Sydney FC offcourse. 

I also agree with one of the post above that he shouldn't be shit talking Arnold by saying all players mock and laugh at him just because he's now out of the scene, especially when many people he knows still play under him. He pretty much says that everything Arnold achieved at Sydney FC came down to chance. We all know he also achieved at CCM so that's a little cheap. 

Maybe Arnold just gave up on Ryall because of his shocking habits outside of the game and you can't blame Graham Arnold for that one bit.
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Cut the bloke some slack. Sure, some of his comments aren’t the best but give credit where credit is due. It takes some real guts to contribute to men’s health the way he has.

And do not underestimate how easily it is to be fooled by a woman and her age, in BOTH directions.  You all know this to be true and something similar could happen to anyone of us at any time. Remember the pick up at the nightclub in the film trainspotting. Are you really gonna stop and ask to see some  ID before you proceed ? Yeah, I thought not.

And he didn’t even go that far...some of you need to get off your high moral horse.
Edited
6 Years Ago by Boca J
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Boca J - 9 Nov 2019 10:27 AM
Cut the bloke some slack. Sure, some of his comments aren’t the best but give credit where credit is due. It takes some real guts to contribute to men’s health the way he has.

And do not underestimate how easily it is to be fooled by a woman and her age, in BOTH directions.  You all know this to be true and something similar could happen to anyone of us at any time. Remember the pick up at the nightclub in the film trainspotting. Are you really gonna stop and ask to see some  ID before you proceed ? Yeah, I thought not.

And he didn’t even go that far...some of you need to get off your high moral horse.

What he did was outside of a nightclub and in all honestly considering he himself was only 18 I won't slag him on what he's done. I was just pointing out his judgment would have been better if he wasn't so wrecked. 

I'm slagging him on what he admitted to doing, and the shit talking on Graham Arnold, not to mention the fact he struggled to cope with Melbourne Victory fans chanting he's a peadophille. 
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Interesting that a few posts have gone missing in this thread. 

(VAR) IS NAVY BLUE

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sydneyfc1987 - 9 Nov 2019 3:20 PM
Interesting that a few posts have gone missing in this thread. 

Please elaborate.
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sydneyfc1987 - 9 Nov 2019 3:20 PM
Interesting that a few posts have gone missing in this thread. 

off memory but didn't the girls parents make her go to the police?

yeah I know minor etc

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10 years since the death of Robert Enke and sadly little has changed in football. Some players have come out and taken a break but it's not at the level where we need to recognise this as an illness one should and can immediately get treatment for like cancer or a sports industry. Lots of work to do to break away from the shame aspect.
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Personal chants directed at players are bad. Words do hurt.  
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I hope he gets all the help he needs.

Say strong Seb.
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Can't wait for Adam Johnson's book when it comes out
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celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 2:54 PM
Can't wait for Adam Johnson's book when it comes out

That is beyond low.

 Adam Johnson was found guilty, Ryall was found not guilty.
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sub007 - 11 Nov 2019 5:41 PM
celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 2:54 PM

That is beyond low.

 Adam Johnson was found guilty, Ryall was found not guilty.

Ryall was charged though and admitted to kissing the girl, to put in perspective the age difference it's a year 12/graduate kissing a year 8, you're telling me there was no grooming going on there?
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celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 7:34 PM
sub007 - 11 Nov 2019 5:41 PM

Ryall was charged though and admitted to kissing the girl, to put in perspective the age difference it's a year 12/graduate kissing a year 8, you're telling me there was no grooming going on there?

It doesn’t matter if he was charged, what matters is that he was found not guilty and the girl lied about her age.
Edited
6 Years Ago by sub007
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celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 7:34 PM
sub007 - 11 Nov 2019 5:41 PM

Ryall was charged though and admitted to kissing the girl, to put in perspective the age difference it's a year 12/graduate kissing a year 8, you're telling me there was no grooming going on there?

Sebastian Ryall was under a mistake of fact. Adam Johnson, as far as I can tell, knew the girl was underage. He was 28 when they began communicating over a long period of time. Johnson should know better being almost twice the girl's age at the time.


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sub007 - 11 Nov 2019 8:07 PM
celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 7:34 PM

It doesn’t matter if he was charged, what matters is that he was found not guilty and the girl lied about her age.
You got any links to where it said she lied about her age? 
hames_jetfield - 11 Nov 2019 9:12 PM
celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 7:34 PM

Sebastian Ryall was under a mistake of fact. Adam Johnson, as far as I can tell, knew the girl was underage. He was 28 when they began communicating over a long period of time. Johnson should know better being almost twice the girl's age at the time.

I find it hard to believe he didn't know the girl he was with was underage, we're talking right at the start of 2009, it's not like in today's society where girls can add 5 + years onto their age because of makeup. We all know how screwed the courts are over here, slap on the wrist for drink driving and killing someone on, want to poison your partner and get away scot-free? Well you sure can in Australia. According to the press the only reason the case was dismissed is because they thought he genuinely didn't know her real age, so the court was fine with him kissing a 13 year old!

Just can't wrap my head around having any sympathy for the guy, he made a massive mistake in his life and instead of taking responsibility for it 10 years later he is still shifting the blame. 
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celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 11:45 PM
sub007 - 11 Nov 2019 8:07 PM
You got any links to where it said she lied about her age? 

”Mr Lloyd said the decision by the DPP to drop proceedings came after a submission by Ryall's legal team that he believed the girl to be aged over 16 at the time of the alleged offence.”

https://www.smh.com.au/sport/soccer/soccer-star-in-the-clear-on-underage-sex-charge-20100515-v5ds.html

This quote was from the book. "Do they know how I was deceived by this dumb young girl, who’s ruined my life? Nope. Do they care”

You don’t have to be a genius to put two and two together. 
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sub007 - 12 Nov 2019 12:01 AM
celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 11:45 PM

”Mr Lloyd said the decision by the DPP to drop proceedings came after a submission by Ryall's legal team that he believed the girl to be aged over 16 at the time of the alleged offence.”

https://www.smh.com.au/sport/soccer/soccer-star-in-the-clear-on-underage-sex-charge-20100515-v5ds.html

This quote was from the book. "Do they know how I was deceived by this dumb young girl, who’s ruined my life? Nope. Do they care”

You don’t have to be a genius to put two and two together. 

From the link in the OP. “Ryall was 18 and contracted to Melbourne Victory when he met a girl, who told him she was 16, out the front of a nightclub in Sydney in the early hours of January 25, 2008.”

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celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 11:45 PM
sub007 - 11 Nov 2019 8:07 PM
You got any links to where it said she lied about her age? 
hames_jetfield - 11 Nov 2019 9:12 PM

I find it hard to believe he didn't know the girl he was with was underage, we're talking right at the start of 2009, it's not like in today's society where girls can add 5 + years onto their age because of makeup. 

Because make up, poor lighting and thinking with your willy never existed 10 years back.

Regardless, the DPP's opinion is the one that counts here.


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celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 11:45 PM
sub007 - 11 Nov 2019 8:07 PM
You got any links to where it said she lied about her age? 
hames_jetfield - 11 Nov 2019 9:12 PM

I find it hard to believe he didn't know the girl he was with was underage, we're talking right at the start of 2009, it's not like in today's society where girls can add 5 + years onto their age because of makeup. We all know how screwed the courts are over here, slap on the wrist for drink driving and killing someone on, want to poison your partner and get away scot-free? Well you sure can in Australia. According to the press the only reason the case was dismissed is because they thought he genuinely didn't know her real age, so the court was fine with him kissing a 13 year old!

Just can't wrap my head around having any sympathy for the guy, he made a massive mistake in his life and instead of taking responsibility for it 10 years later he is still shifting the blame. 

There is something seriously wrong with you & I feel you need to get out more. 

He's paid for his mistake, people punish themselves for their mistakes more than the justice system & society does.  
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hames_jetfield - 12 Nov 2019 8:23 AM
celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 11:45 PM

Because make up, poor lighting and thinking with your willy never existed 10 years back.

Regardless, the DPP's opinion is the one that counts here.

Not to the extent today, no. 

ErogenousZone - 12 Nov 2019 8:50 AM
celtsrhere67 - 11 Nov 2019 11:45 PM

There is something seriously wrong with you & I feel you need to get out more. 

He's paid for his mistake, people punish themselves for their mistakes more than the justice system & society does.  

He paid for his mistake yet 10 years later he is still shifting blame on the other party and now has a book out trying to profit off it, cry me a river. Only guy here that needs to get out more is you and your 2000 posts on this forum 🤫


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celtsrhere67 - 12 Nov 2019 11:19 AM
hames_jetfield - 12 Nov 2019 8:23 AM

Not to the extent today, no. 

ErogenousZone - 12 Nov 2019 8:50 AM

He paid for his mistake yet 10 years later he is still shifting blame on the other party and now has a book out trying to profit off it, cry me a river. Only guy here that needs to get out more is you and your 2000 posts on this forum 🤫


Seems like a complex situation - not sure why anyone would comment anyway apart from wishing all parties well.




Edited
6 Years Ago by Zoltan
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celtsrhere67 - 12 Nov 2019 11:19 AM
hames_jetfield - 12 Nov 2019 8:23 AM

Not to the extent today, no. 

ErogenousZone - 12 Nov 2019 8:50 AM

He paid for his mistake yet 10 years later he is still shifting blame on the other party and now has a book out trying to profit off it, cry me a river. Only guy here that needs to get out more is you and your 2000 posts on this forum 🤫


Ok, multi. 
GO

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