Why would it be called off?

http://www.adelaidemetro.com.au/planner/

Now shut the fuck up

https://www.adelaidemetro.com.au/

WGMG: mum was in the toilet doing a poo and I wanted to use the toilet. Once I got use of the toilet the smell was bad. I said to mum it stunk and she got angry at me. I think she will ban me from the computer and ban my mobile service which means I can't use tinder. Also i had another date lined up with a girl from high school. She cancelled because it is too hot. She blocked me because I said we should just get naked. Ouch... What makes it worse is I accidentally forwarded a d*** pic snapchat to my entire list.

Gets called off if the forecast is above 38 as of 5am. Iirc.

LOL Good God

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Fuck that is soft. Regularly played when it was over 40 in Perth.

Try playing out in Gosnells when it is 43 and the wicket is so dead that you can't get the ball up over waist height.

WGMG. so I am at the gym right now in the change rooms and the guy next too me looked at my wang. I don't know what I should think. Do you think he likes what he saw? should i look at his? I feel like I shouldn't and that if I went home and told mum she would ban me from gym. I really need gym because the girls at school like gym boys. But mum doesn't want me near girls. Also while in the shower at gym I got caught peeing in the shower. Not sure what to do.

FFS :lol:

WGMG; so after gym I was walking down the street and started to flick through tinder I saw an older lady and thought I'll go there so away I swipped it was a match and was near by. Anyway to cut a long story short I was sitting in Maccas and she arrived it was my mums friend Janice. It was very awkward at first but we both know the reason why we turned up. So we went into the disabled toilets and well let's say she had a happy meal.
My main worry is what if she tells my mum. My mum thinks I've never been with a girl I am scared of what she might say. I might get banned inside for a month again. Worse what if mums friend getd pregnant or what if I get a disease from her. I am also worried because a staff member at McDonald's knocked on the door what if they had cameras in there. I've screwed up and need help? Also another major issue is she bit me down there and drew blood I am wounded and if I sit I am in pain what do I tell mum she will check it and see teeth marks I am screwed

Drinks every 40 mins instead of every hour is the only concession to heat in Perth.

It is generally a dry heat though so I'm sure the FFA could come up with some dry bulb bullshit to say that it isn't too bad.

Have played on some shocking days in February though when the occasional thunderstorm is on the way but hasn't broken yet so it is hot and humid.

Bloody hell this is good :lol:

Needs a special category in the awards. Too good to miss out.

ever thought of a career in writing fiction???

WGMG: oh god so I've made a huge rookie mistake here people. So after my McDonald's experiwnce giving Janice a happy meal. I was on the bus home to mums because she called me to come home. Because Janice took a bite of my snag I can't sit down there is blood. So I am on the bus and to stop the pain I have to hold my groin. It's not a good look. Anyway the bus stopped suddenly and my groin hit an old lady well grandma in the face. I think she felt my snake because she smiles. She asked where I was going so I told her. She asked me to get off at her stop. So we got close to my house and get off she invites me in for a cookie I happily accept its a hot day. So I go in and wait in the kitchen in she finally comes with no skirt on. She said she liked to eat snakes. So well she did. I gave her my youth juice and it was great. So after I am done I go in her backyard and realize my house is behind her house my back neighbour is her so I ran home sore snake and all. Hope to God mum didn't see me. What do I do? It's been 10mins and I thought I saw her outside what if she sees me? What is she knows I live behind her? What if she has coffee with mum I'm so scared if mum finds out I was with a granny I am in so much trouble. Last time she did this she stopped giving me love milk that she makes using a pump well so she says. I have made so many mistakes lately.

That awkward moment when a multi still gets more action than salmon could ever dream of. :lol:

I am an expert in mum shagging issues so here to help slippery trout.

[youtube]hfVyrdzYGxc[/youtube]

Stop fucking disrespecting me I'll fucking have you.

WGMG: so I get home and go to my room I didn't want mum too see me or my snake with bite marks. She saw me and Ignore her. I go to my room and think about the grandad and what she did. I got frisky and got Sharon stone out. She's my blow up doll. I put Seinfeld on so if mum walks past she will hear my Seinfeld. So there I am giving Sharon stone a bone and mum walks in. My god. Mum Caught me with Sharon stone. She ran into the kitchen and got a knife and popped her. Sharon stone is dead and mum is crying drinking wine in the kitchen. I don't know if I should go out or not. She's disconnexted the computer lucky I have my phone. But she isn't happy. She said she is ashamed of me. She won't let me go out now. Gah mum. Knock next time.
My issue is too my wizzer is so sore and red and throbs. So I need medical attention so bad. Should I tell mum? Knowing her she will look at it. Last time I got caught stroking the Panther she slapped it and almost broke it. Mums can be so annoying.

ask the resident mum shagging doctor U44.
Paging Dr U44

He might take a look at your tally whacker.

Named his blowup doll Sharon Stone :lol:

Oh man. Slipper trout you have made this dull boring Friday afternoon so enjoyable.

Still a better love story than Salmon could ever dream of.

WGMG: I think I need you U466 or what ever you name is please respond asap there has been some developments.

Mum was in the kitchen drinking red wine and talking to herself. I saw it as a seamy opportunity to use my flesh light named Barbra strisand. She's not good to look at and the sound I make with it isn't great so the name suits well. So there I was going full go into Barbra. It actually soothed my red swallow and biten dong. Mum walks in with her second bottle of wine and saw me. So she used the bottle on my wizzer while Barbara was already on it. I am so sore mum is crying mum might kick me out but she's also scared of me getting the bus. So she has kept me here.
Red wine is everywhere she's crying I am sore I need a doctor or hospital. This is the day from hell. Now my crazy ex is calling saying her pie is warm and needs me. Fml she's so abusive that ex of mine but mum told me to break up with her so I did.

This is brilliant :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: =d> =d> =d> tears man - literal tears of laughter.

I love my Barbra but my mum has smashed her. But my wizz was in it when she hit it with her wine bottle.
Now I need wine. My poor barbs.

Your mum sounds familiar.

WGMG: ok so mums crying and in so sore I need to get out. I can't take it seeing Barbra Streisand on the floor broken into parts and pieces. So I managed to get out the window. Mums sitting outside my door crying and drinking again it's so bad. She's talking to herself. I can hear her saying maybe she should breast feed me more often. I don't even like it anymore. So I got on the front lawn and she saw me. She opened the front door and yelled at me. She was waiving Barbra around in the air too people saw it. So I hobbled off thinking I'll go to McDonald's again. Mum followed me in the car but I managed to lose her in the back streets. I'm so sore I'm throbbing. I just saw a guy named jaques who sold me happy pills I think I might take them to ease the pain it has a Honda logo on the pills that must be good. Anyway I am about to meet up with my ex and try this hot pie she has she said it's a raspberry one which is my favourite.
Mum keeps messinging me saying come home and avoid the bus but I think I'll stay out. She thinks if she offers me her magic milk ill fall asleep in her bed again. Won't happen. Who's in Adelaide that wants to help me?