Some of the funny stuff and conversations you have as a barman. The pub I work in is traditional Balmain old-school. Probably one of the last pubs in the area that hasn't changed too much (it's in the process of being changed though). Had this happen to me early on Friday night:
*Me behind bar cleaning wine glasses, middle-aged lady dressed rather fancy walks in and makes a bee-line to the bar wit her friend. Conversation goes like this.
Me: Evening. What can I do for you.
Woman: Hello. Do you have a wine list?
Me: No, sorry. What were you after in particular?
Woman: Oh, umm, well what do you have then?
Me: (this is our actual wine list, btw) Jacobs Creek Merlot & Shiraz, Chardonnay, and Sav Blaunc. We have Brancott's Estate Chardonnay and Sav Blaunc, but we only sell that by the bottle.
Woman: (scowls) Really?
Me: Yep. (reach into the fridge and grab the 2 whites and grab the reds too, to show her)
Woman: (still scowling) Hmmm, are you sure that's all you have.
Me: 100% sure.
Woman: You have bottle shop next door, is that owned by the pub.
Me: Yes, but if you purchase a bottle of wine there, you're not allowed open or drink it in here.
Woman: That's ridiculous.
Me: *shrugs* You used to be able too. But we have new rules in place.
Woman: (resumes scowling) Says to her friend that they should go somewhere else.
Womans friend: Nah, I want to see the band.
Woman: But I want to drink a nice wine.
Womans friend: Relax, Just have a Jacobs Creek.
Woman: But it's shit. I can't believe they've such a shit wine.
Me: I raise an eyebrow and bite my bottom lip to stop myself from smirking.
Womans frind: (turns to me) Is there another pub in the area that does live bands on Friday night?
Me: (thinking) Not live bands. The Monkey Bar and Town Hall both have DJ's and dance music, and we have a club upstairs.
It's around about now that my manager overhears the conversation and wanders over.
Manager: Is everything OK?
Woman: Who are you?
Manager: My names **** I'm the manager
Woman: Oh, good. Can you please show me the wine list?
Manager: We don't have one.
Woman: So you're telling me the bar kid (I chuckled at her term) was right when she said you just have Jacobs Creek?
Manager: (turns to me and raises an eye). Yes, that's correct.
Woman: What sort of pub is this.
Manager: (realizing the sort of Eastern Suburbs snob he's dealing with here replies sarcastically) One of a kind. (walks away to serve another customer)
Woman: Hummmphh. Fine. We'll have one drink and then we'll see. (She orders two glasses of JCs SB)
Me: (pours two glasses of SB). That's $13.80, please.
Woman: What!?
Me: $13.80
Woman: You're joking, right.
Me: Erm, nope. $13.80
Woman: You mean to tell me you're charging us..............(she's struggling to do the math)
Me: Yep, six-ninety a glass.
Woman: For Jacobs Creek.
Me: That's correct.
My manager wanders back over.
Woman: Is he serious, you're charging $6.90 a glass for JC SB.
Manager: Yep. That's correct.
Woman: I'm being charged nearly 14 bucks for two glasses, when it retails cheaper by the bottle.
Woman: (turns to friend) Are you sure you wanna see this band.
Friend: Yes, we've seen them before and we've enjoyed them. Just relax and stay.
Woman: How much is the Chardonnay?
Me: Same price.
Woman: (Resumes scowling, fumbles in her purse, pulls out a $100 note) that's the last drink I'm paying for ever at this shithole.
Me: Takes the money, rings up the purchase, gives her the change and in the best speaking-to-a-5-year-old-voice I say "I hope you enjoy your wine, it truely is a good drop".
Woman: (Glares at me, says to friend) "We should have stayed home in Vaucluse.
Me: Walks into the back bar, double over laughing with my manager. :lol:.
WOLLONGONG WOLVES FOR A-LEAGUE EXPANSION!
