What could be more fun than holding a team of unelected, unrepresentative individuals to account? You know that you are in no way responsible for the failure, given that you had no tangible involvement in it, yet you have full licence to complain endlessly. It’s win-win! Or more aptly: lose-win!

Undoubtedly the finest aspect of this approach is, whisper it, that we’re the best at it. The gloriously, perpetually fed up English has the monopoly on sulking – we can even count it as a win.

In fact, the time has come for public holidays after England defeats – or at least for it to become socially acceptable to take the day off. Let’s not hide our love and passion for disappointment, let’s embrace and celebrate it. Let’s be radical: why not declare the national team ‘losers’, retire them from competitive action, and simply assume the joyous state of disappointment permanently? Embrace it, you know you can’t help yourself.

Repeat after me: I love losing, I love losing, I love losing, I love…