nhub24 is hereby banished from the Mario Balotelli Appreciation Society.

Edited by MaxiiGCU: 25/10/2011 09:44:12 AM

Balotelli reigns supreme as England's joker

When Mario Balotelli whipped off his shirt on Sunday to reveal the slogan 'Why always me?' Early Doors couldn't help but think of the Joker's famous query in The Dark Knight: 'Why so serious?'

Like Heath Ledger's famous dramatic construct, Balotelli has now become an iconic anarchist, a compelling character who operates outside society's usual constraints and defies parking tickets at every turn. He is also unmistakably a joker. Perhaps the finest English football has seen.

Which, coupled with recent escapades, made him the perfect man to be unveiled as Manchester City's new (and presumably hastily arranged at the instruction of the club's PR machine) firework safety ambassador on Monday.

Given the news that emerged on Saturday, it smacks of making Keith Richards the face of an anti-drugs campaign. However, this is a development ED wholeheartedly endorses, and indeed we should not stop there. Balotelli is surely destined for bigger and better things in public life.

First off, why not make him an MP for Manchester? SuperMario has already demonstrated he has important, potentially revolutionary ideas about the welfare state with his strong track record of dishing out money to tramps. Here is a man not frightened to redistribute the wealth, even if it occurs directly, and via suitcases full of cash.

And education, education, education? Lest we forget Balotelli personally visited a Manchester school to halt bullying.

If you think talk of political ambition sounds ludicrous, he already appears to have hit the campaign trail if reports of him driving round Manchester city centre in his Bentley convertible, dishing out high fives, are correct.

Frankly, he would make a far more compelling politician than the identikit goons in Westminster, just as long as they don't introduce ceremonial bibs in the House of Commons.

In fact, ED will not be happy until there is a 50-foot gold statue of SuperMario in every town in England, his face adorning every public billboard in the manner of Kim Jong Il. Never would a cult of personality have been so richly deserved, and he already commands the kind of public approval ratings rarely seen outside North Korea.

Everybody loves Mario. In fact, it has reached the stage where if you don't, you are either dead inside or you might be Joey Barton, who ED suspects is devastated at losing his crown of being the most intensely discussed Premier League footballer.

Exhausted of Nietzsche quotes, our former favourite is now reduced to recycling Smiths lyrics on Twitter. Let Mario never suffer such indignity.

Worryingly, there are signs that Mario isn't taking his status as the Single Greatest Person in England seriously. Because when being unveiled as City's firework ambassador, he adopted a very sombre tone indeed.

"It is important children should not mess with fireworks," he said. "They can be very dangerous if they are not used in the right way. People should follow the firework code. The newspapers got the story wrong about me. I didn't set any fireworks off, it was a friend of mine. I didn't know anything about it until I heard shouting coming from the bathroom. My friend apologised to me for the damage to my house. It was a really stupid thing to do."

Seasoned Balotelli watchers will know however that this ostensibly sensible statement is surely just a prelude to more madness.

After all, wasn't it only on Friday that ED was lamenting the news that our hero had moved out of town and had adopted a more mature persona?

"This is down to me; it's me that changed my life," said Mario. "I don't live in town any more. I'm outside now so it's more quiet. I try to stay at home more. Maybe I'll stay in now with my family, my brother or girlfriend. It's quieter now but also I am growing up."

Inside 24 hours he had reportedly committed his greatest act of lunacy yet when almost burning his house down the day before the Manchester derby.

Even at his unveiling as a firework safety ambassador lay a detail to savour, a promise of yet more escapades.

"Even when I have had bad moments they (City fans) have supported me," he said on Monday. "But I don't care what people say about me. I am focused on my football, my manager, girlfriends and my family."

Girlfriends plural? Just how many members are there of Mario's harem? This awkward dynamic is pregnant with possibility, if you'll excuse the pun. The quote also reminded ED of Royston Drenthe's famous statement when asked how often he had sex. He replied: "with my wife, you mean?"

There appears to be some concern that people will get bored of Mario, and that he may at some point jump the shark. But given in his case that would probably be a very literal scenario, it appears unlikely we will grow tired of him any time soon.

The sanitisation of English football and oppressive media training means the Premier League is full of James Milners, nice as he is. Here we have a gloriously unhinged heir to Best, Gascoigne and Cantona. Now start building those statues.

http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/football/early-doors/article/353582/

And education, education, education? Lest we forget Balotelli personally visited a Manchester school to halt bullying.

Anyone else think that he's incredibly smart and all his antics are just to take the piss out of a modern day society that has become far too serious?

I think he's brilliant and that the world needs more Mario Balotellis.

Manchester City attacker Mario Balotelli has hailed the impact manager Roberto Mancini has had on him during his career so far, comparing him to a father-figure.

Italian also spoke of how he is enjoying his time at the club at the moment, explaining that he is feeling good about his overall game and confident that he can improve every time he goes out on to the pitch.

Speaking to the club's official website, the former Inter man said: “To be inside the stadium, on the pitch with all the people around you in a game like the United one is a great feeling.

“I feel I can get better every game I play.”

The 20 year-old was answering questions on City’s website that had been asked via Twitter fans and soon spoke of how Mancini’s faith in him makes him want to perform even better.

“It’s good because when a manager wants you and has faith in you it is different to when just a club wants you,” explained the controversial Italian.

“When a manager wants you, he trusts you, so he gives you more chances.

“Mancini is like a dad to me. Mancini wants me so I have to be one of the best in the squad so I don’t disappoint him.”

Balotelli, very much an enigma in most cases, shed more light on his thoughts and told of his favourite moment in a City shirt.

With no hesitation, Balotelli said: “Winning the FA Cup, for sure.”

The three-time Serie A winner spoke of what player he looked up to with his idol being a certain Brazilian striker, but he was quick to emphasize he was from Brazil rather than Portugal.

“Ronaldo; the Brazilian one," he affirmed.

Despite it being his first against United and during such an historic match, Balotelli claimed his favourite goal for City was not his first in the derby, but either one of two against Aston Villa.

He concluded: “Aston Villa. The Aston Villa one from this year, or maybe even the one I got against Villa last year, when I was blonde.”

http://www.umbroteeshop.com/product/why-always-me

Shame it's sold out :lol:

I might screenprint one of these myself!

Anyone else think that he's incredibly smart and all his antics are just to take the piss out of a modern day society that has become far too serious?

I think he's brilliant and that the world needs more Mario Balotellis.

MB was an unused sub this morning in the Carling Cup. Mancini deserves the sack for leaving someone of Mario's quality on the bench. Just plain foolishness.

Mario Balotelli has just got a quad bike and turned his garden into a racetrack...... Super Mario Kart just took a whole new meaning!

[size=9]Mario Balotelli & the 32FF porn star [/size]

[size=6]Footballer's secret date while girlfriend is away[/size]

SOCCER ace Mario Balotelli has had a secret date with a busty porn star.

The Manchester City striker played away while his girlfriend was on a modelling job in Italy.

He met up with 32FF Holly Henderson at her own photoshoot in a Manchester hotel before sharing a kiss and cuddle in the car park.

A source close to Balotelli, 21, said: "He is having the time of his life at the moment.

"He first met Holly in a club and has become infatuated with her.

"He has done all the running but she doesn't want to just be a notch on a footballer's bedpost."

Balotelli — dubbed Super Mario by fans — was snapped with 32-year-old Holly at the Marriott Hotel and Country Club where she was working for an episode of Celebrity Come Dine With Me.

He turned up unannounced while she posed in a hot tub with former Hollyoaks star Paul Danan.

Then he signed autographs before carrying Holly's bags to her car and lighting cigarettes for the both of them.

The source said: "At first he told her he was single. This week he confessed — but said things were on the rocks."

Last week he was spotted with girlfriend Raffaella Fico, 23, in a newsagent's, where he happily flicked through Fiesta soft porn magazine.

On Monday The Sun told how he had been racing a quad bike in the garden of his new mansion — where fireworks were set off in a bathroom days earlier


http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/3908793/Mario-Balotelli-and-the-32FF-porn-star.html