A mate of mine works as a security guard at an emergency department. This kind of thing happens all the time.

Reports that the lion was used in the local restaurant's chow mein have as yet proved unsubstantiated.

What a place :lol:

Chinese zoo disguises hairy dog as lion

AFP
August 15, 2013 6:48PM

A CHINESE zoo's supposed "African lion" has been exposed as a fraud when the dog used as a substitute started barking.
The zoo in the People's Park of Luohe, in the central province of Henan, replaced exotic exhibits with common species, according to the state-run Beijing Youth Daily.

It quoted a customer surnamed Liu who wanted to show her son the different sounds animals made - but he pointed out that the animal in the cage labelled "African lion" was barking.

The beast was in fact a Tibetan mastiff - a large and long-haired breed of dog.

"The zoo is absolutely cheating us," the paper quoted Liu, who was charged 15 yuan ($2.70) for the ticket, as saying. "They are trying to disguise the dogs as lions."

Three other species housed incorrectly included two coypu rodents in a snake's cage, a white fox in a leopard's den, and another dog in a wolf pen.

The chief of the park's animal department, Liu Suya, told the paper that while it does have a lion, it had been taken to a breeding facility and the dog - which belonged to an employee - had been temporarily housed in the zoo over safety concerns.

Users of China's Twitter-like Sina Weibo service mocked the zoo.

"This is not funny at all. It's sad for both the zoo and the animals," said one.

"They should at least use a husky to pretend to be a wolf," said another.

http://www.news.com.au/travel/news/chinese-zoo-disguises-hairy-dog-as-lion/story-e6frfq80-1226698007499

Clearly she wasn't only in Hamilton...

Only in Hamilton...

Woman drives 300km while asleep

NZ Newswire
August 14, 2013, 8:38 am

The dangers of texting and driving are well documented but a Hamilton woman has increased those risks even further - doing both while asleep.

The woman, who suffers from a sleep condition and was taking sleeping pills, was asleep when she drove more than 300 kilometres from her Hamilton home to Auckland and then to Mt Maunganui late on Tuesday night.

Police say she was texting throughout her unconscious drive and has no recollection of the incident, which began around midnight on Tuesday.

Five hours later, her cousin found her slumped over her steering wheel in the driveway of her former home in Mt Maunganui.

Police were tracking the woman's movements via her mobile phone throughout the five hour ordeal after they received a 111 call from a concerned friend.

The friend told police the woman had last driven while asleep 10 months prior.

Police say it's fortunate her driving didn't conclude with a "huge tragedy".

"Last night's events could have so easily ended in tragedy which is something I am sure, we all want to avoid," Senior Sergeant Dave Litton said.

They have sought an urgent order forbidding the woman to drive and will seek medical advice to determine whether she should be able to hold a drivers license long term.

Police are urging all drivers with medical conditions to adhere to restrictions on prescription medications.

http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/18491214/woman-drives-300km-while-asleep/?

How would they get you back to earth? They've stated it's a one-way deal.

They didn't say anything about populating Mars. :lol:

They'll do serious psychological tests to ensure that you don't go postal.

But you have to question the sanity of a person who finds fame more important than any other element in their life.

If things weren't looking good with the girl, just kill the other nerds. Who's gonna stop you? :lol:

It'll be 3 nerds who are looking to become famous and one pretty girl.

I doubt 3 bogans would have the intellectual capacity to colonise Mars

Edited by 433: 10/8/2013 07:17:12 PM

Reality television demands that they send people who don't get along.

But being sent to Mars to never come back with people who you loathe would be pretty fucked up.

That would be amazing to be a part of...but the idea of staying on Mars for the rest of your life would do my head in.

Sorry to disappoint buddy.

That's a relief 8-[

Huffington Post: Texas Man, Cirilo Castillo, Charged For Having Sex With Horse For Second Time [VIDEO]

NB: Video is not of the crime itself.

It looked pretty gross.

It was a Python, not a snake.

But also, pythons make great pets. Why you want to keep one large enough to kill not one but two small children is beyond me though.

Importing of snakes for private sale should be illegal

You might be having a bad day, but you've never had a "I'm paralysed and my dog just ate my testicles" bad day.

Dog eats paralysed man's testicle while he sleeps

by: STAFF WRITERS
From:
news.com.au
August 01, 2013 12:30PM

Dogs. They look innocent. Don't be fooled.

THIS story's a real balltearer.

A 39-year-old US man, who is paralysed from the waist down, recently adopted a "small, white, fluffy" stray dog to be his loving companion.

The new relationship went swimmingly for about three weeks, until the dog chewed off one of his new owner's testicles.

Said owner awoke at 7:45am on Monday morning to a "burning pain" in his midsection, reports KAIT8.com.

Looking down, he noticed that "the dog had eaten one of his testicles". The dog was still between his legs with blood on its muzzle and teeth.

Luckily, as the man told police, he has no feeling whatsoever from the waist down. Hey, you have to find the silver lining in these situations.

Police had the dog euthanised at a local vet, and its head was sent to the Arkansas Department of Health to be tested for rabies. Yes, just its head, because the day's events weren't gruesome enough already.

The man didn't know whether the dog had been vaccinated.

He was taken to the aptly named St Bernard's Regional Medical Centre for treatment.



Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/home-garden/dog-eats-paralysed-man8217s-testicle-while-he-sleeps/story-fngwib2y-1226689510173#ixzz2arOxZNJB

Blond with two vaginas offered porn movie role

Staff Reporter | 23 January, 2012 14:53

A UK woman who has two vaginas has apparently been offered R12 million to star in a porn movie, according to media reports.

According to the UK Daily Mail Hazel Jones always wondered why she suffered from terrible cramps and heavy periods during puberty. But it wasn't until she turned 18 that she was given her astonishing diagnosis - she had two vaginas.

The 27-year-old blond from High Wycombe has the million-in-one condition uterus didelphys, which means she has two separate uteruses and cervixes as well.

http://www.timeslive.co.za/world/2012/01/23/blond-with-two-vaginas-offered-porn-movie-role

On the plus side, it seems to explode the theory that nice Jewish girls don't swallow.

Banned driver found attempting to control a car with no steering-wheel with PLIERS

A 38-year-old man had clamped locking pliers around the car's steering column because it had no wheel

The vehicle also had two blown-out tyres and was being driven erratically

Adelaide police charged him with a string of offences, including driving while disqualified, uninsured and while under the influence of drugs

By DAILY MAIL REPORTER

PUBLISHED: 10:29 GMT, 23 July 2013 | UPDATED: 10:44 GMT, 23 July 2013


Police were stunned when they pulled over an erratic motorist to find he was steering his damaged car - with a pair of workshop PLIERS.

The 38-year-old was driving with two blown-out tyres when he was stopped by cops during rush hour on Monday morning.

Amazingly, his car did not have a steering wheel and he was attempting to control the vehicle using a vice grip.

Pliers were clamped around the steering column and he was using them to steer the vehicle, turning the shaft with the pliers

The driver was arrested and charged with a long list of offences including driving while disqualified and under the influence of methyl amphetamine and cannabis.

He was also charged with driving without due care, driving in a dangerous manner, driving while unregistered, uninsured and contrary to defect and breaching his bail conditions.

Police in Adelaide, Southern Australia, believe he was involved in an earlier hit-and-run incident and he was further charged with failing to stop at the scene of a crash.

A statement from South Australia Police said: 'While this is an extreme example, police wish to remind all motorists they have a responsibility to drive with due care at all times.

'Operation Distraction, a state-wide focus on driver behaviour, in particular the use of mobile phones while driving and failing to wear seatbelts, continues to run throughout the month of July and more than 1,700 offences have been detected.'

The man appeared in court today and was remanded in custody.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2374962/Banned-driver-attempting-control-car-steering-wheel-PLIERS.html

lol religion

Kosher lube puts oral sex on the menu for Orthodox Jews

Rabbis have certified a range of lubricants as kosher. Is this the first rabbinically approved innovation to help oral sex?

Wet's kosher lubricants have been approved by the Rabbinical Council of California

Rabbis have rarely generated so much excitement. At least not in the bedroom. For the first time, Orthodox Jews can buy sexual lubricants that have been declared kosher.

The US-made Wet range of lubes now has eight lines that have been given a religious stamp of approval, including its "Ecstasy" product. This means that rabbis from the Rabbinical Council of California have inspected Wet's 52,000 sq ft production plant and researched the origins of every ingredient to check none comes from items prohibited by kosher rules.

As with many great innovations, the lubricant resulted from personal motivation. Sean Smith, president of Trigg Laboratories, which produces Wet, converted to Judaism after marrying a Jewish-Israeli woman.

But what's the need for a kosher lubricant? Orthodox Jews spread all sorts of cosmetics over their bodies without checking they are kosher. From soaps to exfoliators, moisturisers to medical ointments, observant Jews can use whatever is sold on the mainstream market without checking its origins. Kosher laws don't apply to products for external use. In fact, according to guidelines by the respected kashrut certifier Star-K: "one may even apply non-kosher ingredients to one's lips, eg lipstick, lip balm."

The bottom line is that kosher certification is only relevant to Jews who swallow a product. Really, it's only necessary for the God-fearing who intentionally swallow it – but some strict observers go further and buy kosher products if there is a risk of accidentally swallowing them.

So although Orthodox Jews haven't been waiting for the rabbinic nod before using lubes, they have been limited in what they could do with them.

For hundreds of years the Jewish religious establishment has been divided on whether oral sex is allowed as part of a bedroom repertoire; it's still pretty taboo for public discourse – and the rabbis who have approved the lubes haven't spelled out whom their certification will benefit. But among Orthodox Jews the significance is clear – 14 years after Rabbi Shmuley Boteach struck a blow for openness by publishing his hit book Kosher Sex this is the first rabbinic innovation to help kosher oral sex. In eight flavours.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2013/jul/17/kosher-lube-oral-sex-jews-lubricant?

4 Coin Flips That Changed History

Rock-paper-scissors aside, flipping a coin has become the ultimate unbiased decision maker. Calling it in the air often settles friendly disputes over who gets the last slice of pizza or whether to go to the movies or bowling on Friday night. In honor of Flip a Coin Day (today!), here are four big decisions that came down to a simple question: Heads or tails?

1. A COIN TOSS NAMED PORTLAND, OREGON

The two New England natives who founded Portland—called The Clearing at the time—both vied for the bragging rights of naming the 640-acre locale after their respective hometowns. Pioneers Asa Lovejoy (of Boston) and Francis Pettygrove (hailing from Portland, Maine) split the site’s land claim, and settled the decision on a coin toss.

Pettygrove won the best two-out-of-three coin toss in the parlor of the Francis Ermatinger House in Oregon City and the rest is history. Portland was incorporated in 1849, and the copper one-cent piece, minted in 1835 and now dubbed the Portland Penny, is on display at the Oregon Historical Society Museum.

2. A COIN TOSS DECIDED THE FIRST FLIGHT

Wilbur Wright won the chance to make history when he won a coin toss against brother Orville in their camp at Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, in 1903. Wilbur bested his brother in the coin toss for the first crack at flying on December 14, but in a twist of fate, Wilbur stalled the flyer in his first attempt, diving the flyer into the sand.

Three days later, after repairs, Orville was the first to get the contraption airborne at 10:30 on December 17, 1903. Wilbur, who won the coin toss fair and square, was immortalized in a photograph showing him running alongside the plane, very much grounded.

3. A COIN TOSS SEALED RITCHIE VALENS’ FATE

The blockbuster Winter Dance Party Tour (headliners: rock trailblazers Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J.P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson) stopped at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa, a day before the music died. Holly chartered a plane for the tour’s next stop in Moorhead, Minnesota, after his tour bus was plagued with mechanical snafus. Richardson, suffering from the flu, convinced Holly band member Waylon Jennings to give up his seat, freeing up one more spot on the flight.

Tommy Allsup, a guitarist in Holly’s band, flipped a coin with Valens for the last seat, and lost the spot to the young Latin star. On February 3, 1959, the flight crashed into a cornfield after a one-two punch of piloting mistakes and poor weather conditions on a day Don McLean would remember as The Day the Music Died.

4. A COIN TOSS DECIDED SECRETARIAT’S OWNER

The real story behind Secretariat starts in 1969, four years before the horse galloped its way to the Triple Crown. Penny Chenery of Meadow Stable and Ogden Phipps of Wheatley Stable flipped a coin for first pick of two foals sired by prominent racehorse Bold Ruler. Phipps won and picked a filly born from Bold Ruler and a mare named Hasty Matelda.

That left Chenery with the yet-unborn foal of Bold Ruler and Something Royal—a colt that would be named Secretariat at two years old, win the Triple Crown at three, and have a heart nearly four times the size of a normal horse. Secretariat’s performance at the Belmont Stakes ranks second on a list of the top 100 greatest individual sports performances ever, with only Wilt Chamberlain hitting the century mark surpassing it.



Read the full text here: http://mentalfloss.com/article/50832/4-coin-flips-changed-history#ixzz2Yu1AD2g2
--brought to you by mental_floss!