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Fredsta
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notorganic wrote:The first time I saw the title of this thread I thought it would be the perfect place for me to talk about the OCD way that I eat chicken parmas, but saw how heavy it was and didn't touch the poop. Yeah I thought this was going to be for guilty pleasures and stuff too. If it weren't for the fellatio this would be a very depressing thread.
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leftrightout
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MvFCArsenal16.8 wrote:The emotional baggage I carry still to this day I must say is draining . My mum forgave him as he passed away . I did too but I can't get over the fact of what he did . He never let me have my toys or go out or anything . Hey dude , sorry to hear. Just remember you cant blame yourself. It's not your fault. Some people get dealt shitty cards in life. Your Dad obliviously had some major mental health issues. I would just echo what other people have said and get a therapist. If you have the opportunity to have child of your own one day you can change the coarse of their life by being an awesome father. Breaking the cycle and people who come from hard upbringings often do this and raise well balanced children.
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Slobodan Drauposevic
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<3 FulhamKid <3
Hook us up with some morphine if you've got some left over.
Confession that will resound with PB: When I was younger I worked in a pub bistro where one of the items was fish and chips. One time, I battered the fish without flouring it first. It came out of the deep fryer looking life a a hepatitis ridden kidney removal. The head chef saw it and asked "wtf?". I blamed it on the fact that we didn't have much batter left and it apparently didn't cover the fish properly.
#shame
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Heineken
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Draupnir wrote:<3 FulhamKid <3
Hook us up with some morphine if you've got some left over.
Confession that will resound with PB: When I was younger I worked in a pub bistro where one of the items was fish and chips. One time, I battered the fish without flouring it first. It came out of the deep fryer looking life a a hepatitis ridden kidney removal. The head chef saw it and asked "wtf?". I blamed it on the fact that we didn't have much batter left and it apparently didn't cover the fish properly.
#shame You had 1 job man. 1 Job. :lol: :lol:
WOLLONGONG WOLVES FOR A-LEAGUE EXPANSION!
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Carlito
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leftrightout wrote:MvFCArsenal16.8 wrote:The emotional baggage I carry still to this day I must say is draining . My mum forgave him as he passed away . I did too but I can't get over the fact of what he did . He never let me have my toys or go out or anything . Hey dude , sorry to hear. Just remember you cant blame yourself. It's not your fault. Some people get dealt shitty cards in life. Your Dad obliviously had some major mental health issues. I would just echo what other people have said and get a therapist. If you have the opportunity to have child of your own one day you can change the coarse of their life by being an awesome father. Breaking the cycle and people who come from hard upbringings often do this and raise well balanced children. I'm already seeing a psych . Just had to get the stuff off my chest as I want to tell her about this but I couldn't cope with this any longer . Also I've got two kids who I adore and thankfully I've been a better father to them then my dad was to me . I knew my dad but the memories of him abusing me and my mum growing up sits With me
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jlm8695
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One time when I was 9/10 I stole $5 off our mantelpiece the day after I received my pocket money so that I could afford one of the special yu-gi-oh booster packs.
I still feel guilty for doing it to this day.
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rusty
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lollywood wrote:This happened to me & I'm still deeply affected by it. The emotional scars still remain however I just can't get it out my head.....
As a part-time job to help pay for my uni fees, I work at an Italian restaurant as a waiter. Last night we had a couple of new waiters in since exams are now over and people need to work over the summer. Well it turns out one of the new waiters was the chick I picked up at my friend's party! (That story was real up until the sh!tting began). Well, I took it as a sign of fate and decided to ask her out on a proper date. The whole night was pretty busy and I didn't get a chance to talk to her until I cornered her in the kitchen around 9pm.
We were just chattin about how our exams went and stuff but I really needed to go to the toilet but couldn't because this was the only chance I could talk to her. After chit chattin for a couple of minutes I was about to ask her out but I couldn't hold on any longer and let out a huge fart (I know, embarrassing huh). It was one of the silent ones so I was hoping she wouldn't notice. But after a few seconds her face scrunched up. It was one of the deadliest farts I had ever let out. My face went bright red like a tomato and she knew it was me. The smell even reached the cooks on the other side of the kitchen it was that bad.
There must've been something wrong with my stomach cos I couldn't hold it in any longer. The toilet was too far away, I had already embarrassed myself enough so I thought I had nothing to lose. So I dropped my pants in front of the girl and opened the floodgates of my bowel. The girl was so shocked she started spewing uncontrollably. One of the cooks was so horrified he spewed onto a vegetarian pizza that he just prepared. Since the night was so busy another waiter quickly came into the kitchen, grabbed that vegetarian pizza and went out to serve it to a customer. The rest of us were too busy standing around in shock to stop him. A few minutes later Kevin Airs burst into the kitchen and exclaimed, "I want to see the chef! The vegetarian pizza was delicious!". Then when Kevin Airs looked in our direction and saw us covered in crap and vomit with my pants down, he started masturbating furiously.
Wow, did uou end up asking the girl out?
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leftrightout
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MvFCArsenal16.8 wrote:leftrightout wrote:MvFCArsenal16.8 wrote:The emotional baggage I carry still to this day I must say is draining . My mum forgave him as he passed away . I did too but I can't get over the fact of what he did . He never let me have my toys or go out or anything . Hey dude , sorry to hear. Just remember you cant blame yourself. It's not your fault. Some people get dealt shitty cards in life. Your Dad obliviously had some major mental health issues. I would just echo what other people have said and get a therapist. If you have the opportunity to have child of your own one day you can change the coarse of their life by being an awesome father. Breaking the cycle and people who come from hard upbringings often do this and raise well balanced children. I'm already seeing a psych . Just had to get the stuff off my chest as I want to tell her about this but I couldn't cope with this any longer . Also I've got two kids who I adore and thankfully I've been a better father to them then my dad was to me . I knew my dad but the memories of him abusing me and my mum growing up sits With me That great mate. I wasnt sure how old you were. I always imagine I'm posting to pimply teenage kids :lol: I have two kids young kids of my own also and although I wasnt abused as a child I still look at the way my parents raised me objectively and try to use that as a basis of raising my own kids. I could imagine it being a very heavy burden to carry and anyone who would think less of you for having this horror forced upon you unwillingly in early life should get their head checked. It's definatley a form of PTS. Research how soldiers returning from Iraq are dealing with PTS. I know its kind of different kettle of fish but they are returning with a heavy burden on their back and some are on heavy anti depressants and finding it hard to fit back in society. It's another extreme but I find it fascinating that the human mind is always walking that fine line and any 'normal' person of any age can have one traumatic experience and become mentally unbalanced. Edited by leftrightout: 14/11/2014 09:24:42 AM
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Benjamin
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When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship!
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batfink
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Benjamin wrote:When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship! did you do the vegetables in the arse thing???
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Benjamin
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batfink wrote:Benjamin wrote:When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship! did you do the vegetables in the arse thing??? "Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her." And I'm still not sure whether my confession is that I cruelly took advantage of this naive young lady, or that 20 years on I'm still wondering if I was an idiot for moving on... Edited by Benjamin: 17/11/2014 12:35:19 PM
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Fourfiveone
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Benjamin wrote:When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship! I interpreted this as "i put it in her butt"
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Benjamin
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Fourfiveone wrote:Benjamin wrote:When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship! I interpreted this as "i put it in her butt" Then you need more imagination... Her butt was considered was considered fair game throughout the relationship. Again... Struggling to remember just what she did that was so annoying that I wanted rid of her...
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batfink
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Benjamin wrote:Fourfiveone wrote:Benjamin wrote:When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship! I interpreted this as "i put it in her butt" Then you need more imagination... Her butt was considered was considered fair game throughout the relationship. Again... Struggling to remember just what she did that was so annoying that I wanted rid of her... some chicks you do the whole debauchery handbook but never marry.... she sounds like one of those not to marry
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Heineken
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Edited by Heineken: 17/11/2014 05:30:08 PM
WOLLONGONG WOLVES FOR A-LEAGUE EXPANSION!
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Benjamin
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batfink wrote:Benjamin wrote:Fourfiveone wrote:Benjamin wrote:When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship! I interpreted this as "i put it in her butt" Then you need more imagination... Her butt was considered was considered fair game throughout the relationship. Again... Struggling to remember just what she did that was so annoying that I wanted rid of her... some chicks you do the whole debauchery handbook but never marry.... she sounds like one of those not to marry Very likely, but who said anything about marrying her? ;) As a point of interest, she's been married for over a decade now - I sometimes wonder if her husband has any idea what he's got there... Edited by Benjamin: 17/11/2014 05:58:33 PM
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SocaWho
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Benjamin wrote:batfink wrote:Benjamin wrote:Fourfiveone wrote:Benjamin wrote:When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship! I interpreted this as "i put it in her butt" Then you need more imagination... Her butt was considered was considered fair game throughout the relationship. Again... Struggling to remember just what she did that was so annoying that I wanted rid of her... some chicks you do the whole debauchery handbook but never marry.... she sounds like one of those not to marry Very likely, but who said anything about marrying her? ;) As a point of interest, she's been married for over a decade now - I sometimes wonder if her husband has any idea what he's got there... Edited by Benjamin: 17/11/2014 05:58:33 PM ...or if he wondered the sort of things you did to his missus. :lol: Edited by SocaWho: 17/11/2014 08:59:31 PM
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Benjamin
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SocaWho wrote:Benjamin wrote:batfink wrote:Benjamin wrote:Fourfiveone wrote:Benjamin wrote:When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship! I interpreted this as "i put it in her butt" Then you need more imagination... Her butt was considered was considered fair game throughout the relationship. Again... Struggling to remember just what she did that was so annoying that I wanted rid of her... some chicks you do the whole debauchery handbook but never marry.... she sounds like one of those not to marry Very likely, but who said anything about marrying her? ;) As a point of interest, she's been married for over a decade now - I sometimes wonder if her husband has any idea what he's got there... Edited by Benjamin: 17/11/2014 05:58:33 PM ...or if he wondered the sort of things you did to his missus. :lol: Edited by SocaWho: 17/11/2014 08:59:31 PM If he hasn't found out what she's up for by now, finding out what I did to her would ruin his marriage!
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notorganic
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Benjamin wrote:SocaWho wrote:Benjamin wrote:batfink wrote:Benjamin wrote:Fourfiveone wrote:Benjamin wrote:When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship! I interpreted this as "i put it in her butt" Then you need more imagination... Her butt was considered was considered fair game throughout the relationship. Again... Struggling to remember just what she did that was so annoying that I wanted rid of her... some chicks you do the whole debauchery handbook but never marry.... she sounds like one of those not to marry Very likely, but who said anything about marrying her? ;) As a point of interest, she's been married for over a decade now - I sometimes wonder if her husband has any idea what he's got there... Edited by Benjamin: 17/11/2014 05:58:33 PM ...or if he wondered the sort of things you did to his missus. :lol: Edited by SocaWho: 17/11/2014 08:59:31 PM If he hasn't found out what she's up for by now, finding out what I did to her would ruin his marriage! BBAF etc Two girlfriends are chatting in the bathroom, and one says to the other: - Damn, Cathy. I have to be real careful now not to get pregnant. - Why?, says Cathy. Your husband just got a vasectomy! - Exactly! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Edited by Notorganic: 18/11/2014 12:26:07 PM
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Benjamin
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notorganic wrote:Benjamin wrote:SocaWho wrote:Benjamin wrote:batfink wrote:Benjamin wrote:Fourfiveone wrote:Benjamin wrote:When I was 26, I was telling my very attractive but very annoying 19 yr old girlfriend that we were finished... In the kind of desperate act that only 19 yr old girls are dumb enough to do - she said that she would do ANYTHING I wanted to prove that she was 'mature' enough to stay with me... For the next few months I proceeded to treat her in a way that would make Notorganic blush. Anything I ever wanted to do to a woman, I did to her.
Ended the relationship - met an Aussie, moved to Melbourne, married her... Saw some pictures of the ex on Facebook a year ago, and she looks the same now as she did then... STILL don't believe I ended that relationship! I interpreted this as "i put it in her butt" Then you need more imagination... Her butt was considered was considered fair game throughout the relationship. Again... Struggling to remember just what she did that was so annoying that I wanted rid of her... some chicks you do the whole debauchery handbook but never marry.... she sounds like one of those not to marry Very likely, but who said anything about marrying her? ;) As a point of interest, she's been married for over a decade now - I sometimes wonder if her husband has any idea what he's got there... Edited by Benjamin: 17/11/2014 05:58:33 PM ...or if he wondered the sort of things you did to his missus. :lol: Edited by SocaWho: 17/11/2014 08:59:31 PM If he hasn't found out what she's up for by now, finding out what I did to her would ruin his marriage! BBAF etc Two girlfriends are chatting in the bathroom, and one says to the other: - Damn, Cathy. I have to be real careful now not to get pregnant. - Why?, says Cathy. Your husband just got a vasectomy! - Exactly! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Edited by Notorganic: 18/11/2014 12:26:07 PM A'yeeeeeeet
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lollywood
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11.mvfc.11 wrote:rusty wrote:lollywood wrote:This happened to me & I'm still deeply affected by it. The emotional scars still remain however I just can't get it out my head.....
As a part-time job to help pay for my uni fees, I work at an Italian restaurant as a waiter. Last night we had a couple of new waiters in since exams are now over and people need to work over the summer. Well it turns out one of the new waiters was the chick I picked up at my friend's party! (That story was real up until the sh!tting began). Well, I took it as a sign of fate and decided to ask her out on a proper date. The whole night was pretty busy and I didn't get a chance to talk to her until I cornered her in the kitchen around 9pm.
We were just chattin about how our exams went and stuff but I really needed to go to the toilet but couldn't because this was the only chance I could talk to her. After chit chattin for a couple of minutes I was about to ask her out but I couldn't hold on any longer and let out a huge fart (I know, embarrassing huh). It was one of the silent ones so I was hoping she wouldn't notice. But after a few seconds her face scrunched up. It was one of the deadliest farts I had ever let out. My face went bright red like a tomato and she knew it was me. The smell even reached the cooks on the other side of the kitchen it was that bad.
There must've been something wrong with my stomach cos I couldn't hold it in any longer. The toilet was too far away, I had already embarrassed myself enough so I thought I had nothing to lose. So I dropped my pants in front of the girl and opened the floodgates of my bowel. The girl was so shocked she started spewing uncontrollably. One of the cooks was so horrified he spewed onto a vegetarian pizza that he just prepared. Since the night was so busy another waiter quickly came into the kitchen, grabbed that vegetarian pizza and went out to serve it to a customer. The rest of us were too busy standing around in shock to stop him. A few minutes later Kevin Airs burst into the kitchen and exclaimed, "I want to see the chef! The vegetarian pizza was delicious!". Then when Kevin Airs looked in our direction and saw us covered in crap and vomit with my pants down, he started masturbating furiously.
Wow, did uou end up asking the girl out? Sounds like a great girl to take home to your family I did & she was. :d Ended up double dating with Kevin as well. =p~
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Eastern Glory
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I had food poisoning and sharted once.
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Slobodan Drauposevic
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Eastern Glory wrote:I had food poisoning and sharted once. Only once? Avoid the eggs in Chinatown btw.
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SlyGoat36
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Eastern Glory wrote:I had food poisoning and sharted once. I came back from Europe on holiday in 2013, I ate nothing for 30 hours. When I got home I ate a pizza. The next morning I shat myself while taking a piss. Thank god I had my compression pants on :lol: Asked the wife if she would wash them, she wouldn't :(
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Slobodan Drauposevic
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SlyGoat36 wrote:Eastern Glory wrote:I had food poisoning and sharted once. I came back from Europe on holiday in 2013, I ate nothing for 30 hours. When I got home I ate a pizza. The next morning I shat myself while taking a piss. Thank god I had my compression pants on :lol: Asked the wife if she would wash them, she wouldn't :( You got lucky mate. Jeans are a no go.
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salmonfc
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When I was a little kid, I got bullied and abused at school constantly. I remember that almost every week I'd get either taunted or bashed by someone. In Year 6 a kid shoved me to the ground and kicked me in the head repeatedly; had to go to the ER and I was placed under observation for the rest of the day. This was after I left my previous school due to bullying. At one point at my second school, it got so bad that I did all my school work in a room in the front office. I've had more tormentors than I can count on two hands. After copping all this shit, I stopped trusting every single kid around me out of fear that they'd turn on me. Even though I'm doing much better now, I start feeling anxious or nervous when I sit next to someone or try to talk to a classmate. I have plenty of acquaintances, but I haven't tried to actually become friends with them because I feel like they don't really want to spend time with me and I'm worried that they'll reject me, either because they think I'm weird or because I'm just not an interesting person (this fear of being socially rejected is so bad that I've actually asked classmates in person if I can add them on Facebook to avoid seeming weird by just adding them out of nowhere. Yeah, those conversations are as awkward as they sound). So yeah, that's why I haven't got any mates to go to Hindmarsh with :| I'm doing much better than I was a few years ago, but I still feel like I'm an outsider.
For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenals moods and fortunes somehow reflected my own. - Hornby
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u4486662
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#I'llgowithyousalmon
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Jong Gabe
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Rough. I used to be anti-social in my early primary school years but never that bad.
E
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Jong Gabe
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lollywood wrote:This happened to me & I'm still deeply affected by it. The emotional scars still remain however I just can't get it out my head.....
As a part-time job to help pay for my uni fees, I work at an Italian restaurant as a waiter. Last night we had a couple of new waiters in since exams are now over and people need to work over the summer. Well it turns out one of the new waiters was the chick I picked up at my friend's party! (That story was real up until the sh!tting began). Well, I took it as a sign of fate and decided to ask her out on a proper date. The whole night was pretty busy and I didn't get a chance to talk to her until I cornered her in the kitchen around 9pm.
We were just chattin about how our exams went and stuff but I really needed to go to the toilet but couldn't because this was the only chance I could talk to her. After chit chattin for a couple of minutes I was about to ask her out but I couldn't hold on any longer and let out a huge fart (I know, embarrassing huh). It was one of the silent ones so I was hoping she wouldn't notice. But after a few seconds her face scrunched up. It was one of the deadliest farts I had ever let out. My face went bright red like a tomato and she knew it was me. The smell even reached the cooks on the other side of the kitchen it was that bad.
There must've been something wrong with my stomach cos I couldn't hold it in any longer. The toilet was too far away, I had already embarrassed myself enough so I thought I had nothing to lose. So I dropped my pants in front of the girl and opened the floodgates of my bowel. The girl was so shocked she started spewing uncontrollably. One of the cooks was so horrified he spewed onto a vegetarian pizza that he just prepared. Since the night was so busy another waiter quickly came into the kitchen, grabbed that vegetarian pizza and went out to serve it to a customer. The rest of us were too busy standing around in shock to stop him. A few minutes later Kevin Airs burst into the kitchen and exclaimed, "I want to see the chef! The vegetarian pizza was delicious!". Then when Kevin Airs looked in our direction and saw us covered in crap and vomit with my pants down, he started masturbating furiously.
Still the greatest story of all time.
E
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u4486662
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Was worth a second read. This is lollywood............ 
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