WGMG: *Please note that before I begin my current roommates are nowhere near as bad as He Who Shall Not Aim Properly*

There are two other people sharing my abode at the current time. One is a nice, but particularly easily offended, Indonesian-Chinese woman studying maths (May I add her last name is Bong! Talk about foreboding) and the other is a male engineer who is whiter than an A4 sheet of paper.

Now I'm a particularly pedantic talking monkey who simply cannot stand inconsistency in others so my dick-in-hand rant will smell like honey to those who share my anthropological grievances.

Both these roommates have different rooms with different rates of rent but are dating so conversing with them is fraught with danger as I have realised. Now the issue is with the male engineer (let's call him Mr. T) and to lesser extent the Asian maths student (let's call her Agung, *tips bucket hat*). Mr. T is perhaps the dullest, whitest human being I have ever had to nearly fall asleep too. He suffers from a debilitating condition where he simply cannot pick up on social cues - aka he just keeps on fucking talking. Furthermore he has a profound routine that, as a near autistic introvert, nearly shits me to tears.

Imagine the dullest voice imaginable - a drone if you will that could make someone in a long-term coma slightly more of a vegetable. No facial hair, a crew cut with brown hair, brown eyes, no muscle mass and a penchant for standing right in front of the cupboard which has my future poo in it. While he stands there slowly making the subatomic realm come to a standstill he tells me about all this engineering stuff that will one day save my life from my own carelessness. How a toaster works, the perfect amount of bacon to put into a single freezer bag, the intricacies of the hot water system and the unbelievable technological marvel that is the black stuff that roads are made of.

I've recently begun using olive oil in my cooking. As I didn't have any previously, I used a smidgeon from the cupboard for my bacon and chicken fetuses. When Agung saw me using said oil she became upset and warned me that if Mr. T saw me using his oil he would be very upset. Now, never mind that both of them use my toaster that I purchased as well as my utensils, apples, butter and eggs but the crime of using this precious, endangered resource was too much to comprehend. The next day I awoke to find my saucepan on the benchtop away from plethora of tupperware and chopsticks that seem to pop in and out of existence more than electrons. Agung, having heard me enter the communal hall, comes from her room handing me the saucepan saying that I need to rewash it as there's a section of residual oil no bigger than a cumstain remaining on it. Bemused, I wash it. Meanwhile in the corner of the kitchen, directly next to my toaster, is the pile of washing that Mr. T consistently leaves there and only washes on a Sunday (no really he's a very busy android). The room smells of stale teriyaki and fruity preservatives emanating from this construction (he is an engineer after all) but no word is said by Agung who seems to relish any mistake I make in the kitchen.

To reinforce my view that he perhaps more anal than an anus an example occurred when my friend moved out recently. His mother parked her car in the driveway so as to load his belongings in. Mr. T arrives at precisely the moment he means to and stands DIRECTLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY FOR TWO HOURS while Greeny's mom does her best to appease the will of the walking anti-matter amphetamine. He mentions the fact of the car being in the driveway and consistently mentions that he parked on the side of the road outside and will most definitely move his car down the driveway when she leaves. Really, he kept on saying it like a legislative announcement all the while maintaining his consistent stance that would make a puppy disinterested.

He also leaves his bedroom door permanently open, permanently watching new (aka shit) episodes of the Simpsons and is completely immunised against sarcasm much to my chagrin.

Yes I'm very judgmental with not that much to do atm, good night & good luck

Write a sitcom bro

:lol: This is brilliant! :lol:

He doesn't clean his dishes and leaves them there until Sunday when he cleans them all? Is the individual named aware that he shares accommodation with other people?

To be honest, I'd just cum in his milk.

:lol: cheers for that one just choked on my coffee and its all over my laptop

Ah been waiting for these again!

Why don't you just live alone :lol:

Marconi is back. Always a good read.

Rubbish the link you have in your sig is not appropriate for this forum, please take your higher moral ground elsewhere.

The language in your sig would not be acceptable if you posted it and it sure as hell isn't acceptable via a link.

And yes I do take umbrage to you calling me a bigot, although I notice the courage of your convictions does not run to putting a name to your persecutor.

Oops I think I just let the cat out of the bag.

Pls

Marconi's rants are the best. Have you ever thought of being a writer? Your descriptive language is great.

lol you are such a vagina sometimes.

What about all the other garbage in other people sigs that is up all the time?

-PB

I've written boring ass essays mostly, I haven't really attempted writing comedy or drama as most ideas have been taken though I could write something self-deprecating. I've been told by friends that I should try acting or stand-up but I have no idea how they see that tbh.

Don't be so hard on yourself your rants are very entertaining.

I think you have a knack from making inane sounding tasks hilarious.

Can we have a thread just for Marconi's work? Would easily be the best thread around

WGMG: Company I work for went under today. Watching someone see their life's work officially go down the drain is much more devastating than losing my job.

WGMG: The generic "we must stand together and unify with the power of love against this hate, against these actions" etc etc after XYZ tragedy.

Has popped up with Orlando and now with Jo Cox.

I'm sorry, but they're just words. Getting your mug on telly and going on about shit like that and changing your facebook picture to a rainbow flag isn't going to stop some wackjob from shooting up a place.

They're just words.

-PB

Wgmg:telstra and optus customer support. Stupid filos :lol:

The Power of Spoken Words

12/15/2014 02:52 pm ET | Updated Feb 13, 2015

Dr. Hyder Zahed

Author

“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”
Yehuda Berg


Considering the ‘powerful force’ of the words we utter, we must discipline ourselves to speak in a way that conveys respect, gentleness and humility. One of the clearest sign of a moral life is right speech. Perfecting our speech is one of the keystones of mature people. Before speaking take a few moments to contemplate what you will say and how you will say it; while considering the impact they will have on the listener/s. Be kind to all and speak words that are beacons of inspiration, enthusiasm and encouragement to all. Kind and sweet words are always music to the ears of the listeners.


Many people are compelled to give voice to any passing feeling, thought or impression they have. They randomly dump the contents of their mind without regard to the significance of what they are saying. When we talk about trivial matters as in gossiping about others, our attention is wasted on trivialities.


When we speak we should speak with mindfulness, in a way to solidify peace and compassion in our characters. Not only do our words matter, but also the tone which we use has a huge impact. There are certain rules that should guide all our communications with others. Always speak the truth, avoid exaggerations, be consistent in what you are saying, don’t use double standards in addressing people, don’t use your words to manipulate others, and most importantly do not use words to insult or belittle anyone.


Thich Nhat Hanh, a contemporary Buddhist monk and global peace worker and writer in his book, Being Peace states “speaking honestly in any negotiation between individuals or groups is necessary. Speaking the truth in a loving way is also necessary.” Hahn recommends only “loving speech” even when we are communicating about our differences and disagreements. We must be ‘lovingly honest’; we must discipline ourselves to speak in a manner that conveys respect, gentleness, and humility’.


Gary Chapman in his book, Love as a Way of Life uses the vivid metaphor for words as being either ‘bullets or seeds’. If we use our words as bullets with a feeling of superiority and condemnation, we are not going to be able to restore a relationship to love. If we use our words as seeds with a feeling of supportiveness and sincere good will, we can rebuild a relationship in positive and life-affirming ways.


When we need to talk candidly about something difficult with another person, we must focus on the conversation with keen attention and purpose. During the conversation, we must listen patiently, speak tactfully, and tell the truth as we understand it. We must align our words, voice inflection and tone, eye expression, body language, and actions with our inner awareness in an honest exchange.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-hyder-zahed/the-power-of-spoken-words_b_6324786.html

:roll:

Just bought a 79 inch UHD LG Tv today for 5 and half thousand and as expected super excited to try it out but soon as I turn it on the remote control does not work. This was a display model so I got it cheaper but it appears they gave me the wrong remote control and for these LG smart tvs the remote needs to sync with the tv when you first turn it on to even work (Factory settings etc). Was so mad for about 3 hours thinking the tv was stuffed, looked it up and they gave me the newer models version of the magic remote which does not work on my model.

To be fair they both look alike but ffs, my gaming night completely ruined :?

One I was given.


One that was needed.






Edited by MrBrisbane: 17/6/2016 07:27:54 PM

WGMG: a 3 year old kid in my neighbourhood, nearly within throwing distance of my house ran onto the road and got hit by a truck, and died. For such a small neighbourhood, there's a definite shock going through everyone. The Westpac Rescue Helicopter came to the scene and I've never seen so much traffic at the local oval, everyone trying to get a look at what was going down. And when the chopper left without anyone, we knew the worst had happened. Whole community shaken, and it's literally too close to home on multiple levels.

WGMG: Birthdays. I don't see why its a big deal and i hate it when people say "happy birthday" i feel awkward because i then have to thank them for something i didn't want. That probably makes me sound selfish... it's taken me 5 years to finally get through to my wife that it is just another day and that no you shouldn't taken the day off work for it, which is the done thing in her family.

Uhhh well then, have an unhappy birthday!

Just kidding!

-PB

Everybody hates birthdays because they're getting older. :lol: My missus has told me she doesn't want anything on her birthday because she's turning 25, and will be a quarter of a century old, and she's getting old, and isn't young any more. :lol:

I'm all for taking a day off on your birthday. :lol:

Don't care how old i am turning... i hate the awkward happy birthdays and the "how has your day been?"... its literally exactly the same as any other day except people keep annoying me. The missus has learned not to buy presents... well most of the time. I have a feeling something is going on though.

I love birthdays. Not for the gifts and stuff, but it's a great excuse to pretend to not be a miserable arse for the day. Same goes for xmas and NYE!

Wgmg: resume summaries. When did resumes and cover letters become the same thing over and over again?

WGMG: People typing/saying/writing Xmas instead of the whole word. Used to drive past a farm on the way to school with a sign saying "Xmas Tree's For Sale".