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dale1878
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 4.5K,
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WastedYouth
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 7.3K,
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Jets_Fan
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 3K,
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Felixx_17
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 2.7K,
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[youtube]eZmyUQ6xwgs[/youtube]
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Felixx_17
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Group: Forum Members
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Hats off to Ricky, what a gun!
[youtube]BvHXzP2SpLA[/youtube]
[youtube]7SBlh2JBjZI[/youtube]
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dale1878
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 4.5K,
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Felixx_17 wrote:[youtube]eZmyUQ6xwgs[/youtube] "Your book is your valentine". Fucking classic. :lol:
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afromanGT
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 77K,
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"Do you want to go and see Cher?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it's not 1975."
Gotta say, that was pretty harsh on Steve Carell.
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notorganic
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 21K,
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notorganic
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 21K,
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Funky Munky
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 21K,
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I love that dog sooooo much.
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thewestisland
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 3.7K,
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-What do you call a world class Australian Cricketer? Retired.
-What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne? A waiter.
-What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch? A Fisherman
-Why can no one drink wine in Australia at the moment? They haven't got any openers.
-What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies? Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
-What is the Australian version of LBW? Lost, Beaten and Walloped.
-What do you get if you cross the Australian Cricket team with an Oxo cube? A laughing stock.
-The Australian Bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricket team for a meeting. They want to ask their advice about going down hill fast.
-What's the difference between Ricky Ponting and a Funeral Director? A funeral director doesn't keep losing the ashes.
-Did you hear what the stump microphones picked up when The Ashes skippers tossed the coin on Boxing Day? Andrew Strauss called correctly and, quick as a flash, said to Ricky Ponting "You lads can bat.'' Just as quick Ponting replied: "No, we can't. We really can't."
-Of everyone in the Aussie team, who spends the most time at the crease? The woman who irons their cricket whites.
-What's the height of optimism? An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.
-What is the main function of the Australia coach? To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
-On his way out into the middle to bat, Ricky Ponting gets a call from his wife and teammate Michael Hussey tells her he's heading out to the middle. His wife replies "I'll hold, he won't be long!"
-What's the difference between an Aussie batsman and a Formula 1 car? Nothing! If you blink you'll miss them both.
-Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad? The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
-What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common? Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
-Why is Ricky Ponting cleverer than Houdini? Because he can get out without even trying.
-What does Ricky Ponting put in his hands to make sure the next ball is almost certainly going to be a wicket? A bat.
-What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson? They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.
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MaxiiGCU
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Group: Forum Members
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Quote:What does Ricky Ponting put in his hands to make sure the next ball is almost certainly going to be a wicket? A bat. =d> :lol: \:d/
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afromanGT
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Group: Forum Members
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Quote:Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the
children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical
answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy,
but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet
and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club, and takes off all his
clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really
good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them
sleep with him."
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took
little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.
"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for Australia but I was just too
embarrassed to say." Quote:A lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant said "Can I help you?"
"Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".
"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.
"In the park just down the road" she replied.
"Can you describe what happened?"
"Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then
he dropped his pants to his knees and had his way with me"
"Could you give me a description of him?"
"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees, one on each leg".
"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said the Sergeant.
"Yes", said the lady, "He was an Aussie Cricketer".
"That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from his accent?"
"No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long".
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Benjo
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 15K,
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Quote:Why can no one drink wine in Australia at the moment? They haven't got any openers. Shane Watson begs to differ
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thewestisland
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 3.7K,
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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman wave at him.
She says, “Hello!”
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, 'Do you know me?'
She replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
His mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the stag party I made love to on the pool table with my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher.”
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Jets_Fan
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 3K,
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petszk
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 4.2K,
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imnofreak
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Group: Moderators
Posts: 35K,
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 :lol:
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afromanGT
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 77K,
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All three of those were quality. 
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mus-28
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afromanGT
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 77K,
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lol Bilbao fans.
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WastedYouth
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 7.3K,
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I lol'd at the Bilbao one.
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WastedYouth
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 7.3K,
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[youtube]Zrf4vWB1by0[/youtube]
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Funny shit
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notorganic
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 21K,
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Extreme (ly bad) Parenting  
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petszk
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 4.2K,
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notorganic
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 21K,
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paladisious
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Group: Moderators
Posts: 39K,
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ausmojo
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 1.5K,
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LOL @ Bilbao fan
Oh and the snake :lol: :lol:
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Felixx_17
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Group: Forum Members
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marconi101
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 16K,
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 Edited by marconi101: 27/1/2011 12:54:50 AM
He was a man of specific quirks. He believed that all meals should be earned through physical effort. He also contended, zealously like a drunk with a political point, that the third dimension would not be possible if it werent for the existence of water.
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