Salmon's 101 problems (but a bitch ain't one) thread


Salmon's 101 problems (but a bitch ain't one) thread

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Heineken
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Seriously dude, start posting all your issues in here. You're clogging up the whole forum, and it's starting to piss some people off.

WOLLONGONG WOLVES FOR A-LEAGUE EXPANSION!

u4486662
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Dat thread title though. Top shelf.
salmonfc
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Sorry m80

So basically

-Daddy issues
-Fat
-Social anxiety
-No mates
-Awkward and shy

For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenals moods and fortunes somehow reflected my own. - Hornby

JP
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=d> The thread title.
Heineken
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Trust me Salmon, you've got nothing to worry about. You're 16, you know shit about shit in this world. Just wait till you finish school and the real problems in your life start building up.

I may not speak openly about many of my issues growing up, many of which echo yours, but one day you're going to wake up and realize that in the grand scheme of things, your life ain't all that bad. Stop worrying about what others think of you. The more you worry about what others think of you, the more you're going to stress. Just be yourself, work out for yourself what fits and what doesn't fit. You confidence will build as you mature and you see the society around you for what it is.

I'm 24 in a week and a half, and I still don't know shit about shit and I've got a Uni degree that makes people think I'm intelligent. School is just a tiny little blip in the grand scheme of life. It's also the most frustrating and confusing, and you won't understand until a year or two out of high school and you start understanding the benefits of hindsight, and using said hindsight as a shield for what lies ahead of you.

Just relax and take a chill pill.


WOLLONGONG WOLVES FOR A-LEAGUE EXPANSION!

433
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salmonfc wrote:
Sorry m80

So basically

-Daddy issues


Sorry fam can't offer advice for that

Quote:

-Fat
-Social anxiety
-No mates
-Awkward and shy


This can all be fixed by self-improvement.

Edited by 433: 1/12/2015 11:18:48 PM
scubaroo
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salmonfc wrote:
Sorry m80

So basically

-Daddy issues
-Fat
-Social anxiety
-No mates
-Awkward and shy


I thought only extremely sexually active girls have daddy issues?

The rest... do whatever makes you feel comfortable... i used to sit in my room listening to music and try to chill out from probably 15-20 years old. I used to get the fast heart beat and the sweats when a girl i liked popped up on messenger... and geeeez if they spoke to me id be acting like we made out or something. Fuck being a teenager was seriously some confusing shit.
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Yeah dude, just chill. Everything will work out, you just need to find out how to work it out.

If you feel you're overweight, improve your diet and start exercising. Do you like music? Listen to your music while exercising. I've lost 10kgs and all I did was eat a bit better (still had cheat meals) and exercise/gym.

Feeling better about your appearance will help you feel better about yourself as a whole. It did for me, it will for you, too.
SlyGoat36
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1. Wank
2. Gym
3. Travel
4. Murder pussy
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salmonfc wrote:
Sorry m80

So basically

-Daddy issues
-Fat
-Social anxiety
-No mates
-Awkward and shy


Get off your fat arse and start running, once in the morning and once at night, and when you can't run any more walk for while and go a little further each day. Do that and the rest will take care or of itself.

You are only 16, your life hasn't really started yet and nothing you have done to this point is worth shit. You are at the shittiest part of your life because you can see the potential of manhood but do not yet have the knowledge, skills or maturity to realise the potential it presents. In all likelihood the next few years will also be shit. Suck it up, everyone goes through that. The older you get the better life becomes. Heiny is in his mid 20s and just finished uni and has correctly realised that his life is just about to begin and he still doesn't know shit, but your 20s are fun. 30s are even better, and I have just entered my 40s and life has never been better. You are 16, your life will never be more shit.

As you get older you mature, you are getting into football and attending matches which means you will develop friends that forgive any form of social retardedness as long as you support the same team. This leads to more confidence, which means real friends and eventually more skill with women. It is just a skill, practice it, forget your failures and it will all be worth it the first time you bust a nut.
salmonfc
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No one's responding to my Facebook messages :(

For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenals moods and fortunes somehow reflected my own. - Hornby

roarys mane
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SlyGoat36 wrote:
1. Wank
2. Gym
3. Travel
4. Murder pussy

Rofl
SlyGoat36
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roary's mane wrote:
SlyGoat36 wrote:
1. Wank
2. Gym
3. Travel
4. Murder pussy

Rofl


Well it will help turn him grow into a man instead of a little bitch.

How old are you Salmon? 16-17? The issues that you're going through now will seem so insignificant in 3-4 years time, probably even sooner.

Everyone has shit moments in their life, it's all about how you respond to the shit you're going through. You can either sit around and feel sorry for yourself or be willing to make a change.

The hardest part will be getting over your insecurities, once you do that you'll find happiness.

Kill it nigga!
Cityslicker10
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That last one. =d>
famousSYDNEYFC
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Needs a savage root. Tee up a brothel.
scotty21
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Muder pussy :D


Gilligan
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scotty21 wrote:
Muder pussy :D

No murdering. Just find Jesus.
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For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenals moods and fortunes somehow reflected my own. - Hornby

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salmonfc wrote:

My fish named friend.
Open your eyes and heart to the great man upstairs and allow Jesus into your life.
Vaginas come and go .. Stay true to your penis and keep it in house until you are married.
salmonfc
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famousSYDNEYFC wrote:
Needs a savage root. Tee up a brothel.

If anyone from the m80 army comes down to Adelaide in November 2017, we gotta hit up some strip clubs for my 18th \:d/

For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenals moods and fortunes somehow reflected my own. - Hornby

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salmonfc wrote:
famousSYDNEYFC wrote:
Needs a savage root. Tee up a brothel.

If anyone from the m80 army comes down to Adelaide in November 2017, we gotta hit up some strip clubs for my 18th \:d/

We will get you to one of Sydney's finest brothels where the vaginas are free and will be like having a tsunami of vag coming at you. You just need a filthy bird to take that V card from you
SlyGoat36
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Don't listen to Gilligan. He is being a bitch and that's what you must avoid.
salmonfc
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SlyGoat36 wrote:
Don't listen to Gilligan. He is being a bitch and that's what you must avoid.

You talking shit about the skigar king? Chat shit get banged you little čunt.

[size=1]I'm an agnostic/atheist anyway.[/size]

For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenals moods and fortunes somehow reflected my own. - Hornby

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famousSYDNEYFC wrote:
salmonfc wrote:
famousSYDNEYFC wrote:
Needs a savage root. Tee up a brothel.

If anyone from the m80 army comes down to Adelaide in November 2017, we gotta hit up some strip clubs for my 18th \:d/

We will get you to one of Sydney's finest brothels where the vaginas are free and will be like having a tsunami of vag coming at you. You just need a filthy bird to take that V card from you

catch the clap and feel the burn when going for a piss...Salmon will love it:lol:
famousSYDNEYFC
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SocaWho wrote:
famousSYDNEYFC wrote:
salmonfc wrote:
famousSYDNEYFC wrote:
Needs a savage root. Tee up a brothel.

If anyone from the m80 army comes down to Adelaide in November 2017, we gotta hit up some strip clubs for my 18th \:d/

We will get you to one of Sydney's finest brothels where the vaginas are free and will be like having a tsunami of vag coming at you. You just need a filthy bird to take that V card from you

catch the clap and feel the burn when going for a piss...Salmon will love it:lol:

Needs to be neck deep in vag. Hope he can swim.
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Gilligan wrote:
salmonfc wrote:

My fish named friend.
Open your eyes and heart to the great man upstairs and allow Jesus into your life.
Vaginas come and go .. Stay true to your penis and keep it in house until you are married.


Fuck no, like any other beast your penis is best served in a free range environment, let it feast widely and often.

And ignore that previous advice, never wank. It makes your penis lazy when it knows that relief is literally at hand. Starve it and it will drag to places and situations you would otherwise miss out on.
SlyGoat36
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salmonfc wrote:
SlyGoat36 wrote:
Don't listen to Gilligan. He is being a bitch and that's what you must avoid.

You talking shit about the skigar king? Chat shit get banged you little čunt.

[size=1]I'm an agnostic/atheist anyway.[/size]


There's only one religion, bootyism.

Works for both gay and straight ;)

Edited by Slygoat36: 6/12/2015 12:56:59 AM
Heineken
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SlyGoat36 wrote:
salmonfc wrote:
SlyGoat36 wrote:
Don't listen to Gilligan. He is being a bitch and that's what you must avoid.

You talking shit about the skigar king? Chat shit get banged you little čunt.

[size=1]I'm an agnostic/atheist anyway.[/size]


There's only one religion, bootyism.

Works for both gay and straight ;)

Edited by Slygoat36: 6/12/2015 12:56:59 AM

And alcoholism.

WOLLONGONG WOLVES FOR A-LEAGUE EXPANSION!

SlyGoat36
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Heineken wrote:
SlyGoat36 wrote:
salmonfc wrote:
SlyGoat36 wrote:
Don't listen to Gilligan. He is being a bitch and that's what you must avoid.

You talking shit about the skigar king? Chat shit get banged you little čunt.

[size=1]I'm an agnostic/atheist anyway.[/size]


There's only one religion, bootyism.

Works for both gay and straight ;)

Edited by Slygoat36: 6/12/2015 12:56:59 AM

And alcoholism.


Makes the munters look better at least ;)
salmonfc
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I've finally seen that therapist about my social anxiety, so I'm making progress.

I've also asked a girl who is so fucking attractive that she makes me almost too nervous to talk to her at school if she wants to hang out (as m8s), let alone spend any time with her, so that's practically jumping into the deep end of the pool without even having a cheeky toe dip to test the water :lol:

For the first time, but certainly not the last, I began to believe that Arsenals moods and fortunes somehow reflected my own. - Hornby

GO


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