If you do. You're a horrible, human being who should have been swallowed. You see - Vegemite is apparently fucking racist. By eating this salty delicious spread with your morning slice(s) of bread, you make people such as Hitler look like adorable little toddlers who offer you an angelic little smiles, all so adorable, before they fill their fucking nappies with a giant load of baby crap.

You enjoy Cheese and Vegemite sandwiches? Congratulations - you've committed an act far worse than even the most barbaric act ISIS could come up with.

Nibble on a Vegemite and butter biscuit once in a while? Congratulations! You've just become Pauline Bloody Hansons fuck buddy, cos you're a motherfucking, toe totting, black hating, aboriginal despising, white power, heil to the kkk, motherfucking racist. Good on ya, ya savvy sausage!

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Is this bitch for fucking real? Honestly? I mean if there's a prime example of why abortions should be made legal, she's it. Somebody please replace the sugar in her pantry with something a little more exciting, that'll bring about more than just a sugar buzz when she rips into her morning coffee. Wouldn't it be beautifully ironic if she took her morning cup of joe without milk.

Seriously, what a fucking tart. I'm off to go and put a whole Bakers Delight through my toaster, and smother the whole goddamn shop in Vegemite! I love the stuff personally. I guess that makes me a racist that even the KKK couldn't handle! Just to rub rub it into those who happen to differ from the 50 shades of 'not white', going to make myself a cup of Nescafe's finest, and the milk can go get fucked. I'm taking that shit black, just to piss off this cow who looks like she had a fight with an industrial threshing machine, and lost.

I suppose her theory also covers stuff like Nutella (you can kiss sticking that in the Microwave when your more baked than Betty Crocker, and drinking it like it's a dollop of the finest vintage goodbye!)

Love a little licorice? Yeah, nah. Darrel Lea went tits up. Well, we all fucking know why now!

You like your chocolate with actual cocoa in it? Yeah, nup. Unless you're black you can kiss Cadbury's glass and a half away, cos you're going to have to start getting chummy with the Milky Bar kid, and he's clearly a bit touched in the head.

For those of us who like the richer, maltier, darker beers. Nope, Nope, Nope. We'll have to convert to Pure Blonde, because Stouts and Porters are off the bar taps.

I used to like Black Sabbath. I say used to. I'm not black, so I'm going to have to start my own band - White Sabbath, full of guilt and political correctness.

She breaths the same air as we do. Fair chance is some loony will mate with her.