PERHAPS it's because their expectations have been so spectacularly raised by that first-day performance, but it's a fairly subdued Barmy Army that greets the first hour of Australia's second innings. When Phil Hughes is run out for 23 and the man the English love to hate emerges from the tunnel, however, the Army finds full voice at last.

Ricky Ponting makes his way to the wicket, and half the stadium rises - to boo him. To the tune of Guantanamera, the Army begins to serenade the under siege and underperforming captain: ''Sacked in the morning, you're getting sacked in the morning, sacked in the mo-orning, you're getting sacked in the morning.''

When Ponting goes for 20, the chant starts up again, and this time it's so loud you suspect half the Australian fans have joined in too.

They're not much for singing, the Australians, the occasional ''Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. Oi, Oi, Oi'' aside. Which, by the way, brings the brutally true retort: ''You've only got one song.''

The English, though, have got plenty. On day one of this Test, they distributed songbooks to anyone interested; one police sergeant who has volunteered for shifts at the cricket took one, and he's been singing along ever since. ''We need to work on our chants,'' he says. ''We've got nothing.''

Every time Graeme Swann is brought into the attack, the Army sings ''Swann, Swann will tear you apart, again'' to the tune of Joy Division's Love Will Tear Us Apart. When things are quiet - which, to be honest, is not that often - they taunt the Australians with a rendition of their national anthem, with the key words changed to ''God save your queen''. Occasionally, they spice things up with ''You all live in a convict colony, a convict colony, a convict colony'' to the tune of Yellow Submarine, or simply let their minds drift to the picturesque beauty of Lancashire as Bill Cooper - the only person permitted to bring a musical instrument to the games - plays a few bars of the Coronation Street theme song on his trumpet. Reet grand, that.

They dress up, too, these Poms. Swann has his own support flock of half-a-dozen men with bird masks on their faces and feathered wings on their backs. There are men wearing Monty Panesar beards, men dressed as monks, men dressed as women (a disturbingly large number of these, for some reason), and lots of men wearing outfits inspired by the St George cross.

One of these is Vic Flowers - better known to all and sundry as Jimmy Saville (after the English TV host). Flowers knew nothing about the Barmy Army when he first encountered them at the Boxing Day Test in 1998, but it was love at first sight. ''As soon as I saw them I just thought, 'This is it, this is me','' he says.

Flowers describes himself as ''self-unemployed''. ''I spend six months of the year travelling with these guys and the other six hanging out on a Greek island. I don't see much winter, except when I'm in Melbourne.''

Dave Lomax lives in Melbourne and works in a big accounting firm, but there's no doubting where his loyalties lie. Kitted out in a St George cross morph suit - head-to-toe bodyfitting Lycra - with a red tutu, he's suffering in the heat. ''But it's nothing like Adelaide was,'' he says. ''It got up to 35 there, but at least we could move around and find some shade.''

There's no such luck on that front in Melbourne, because seating is allocated. That means Lomax and his mates have found themselves in Bay 13, just across the aisle from the bulk of the Army.

Not so long ago, that would have meant they were stranded behind enemy lines, but not any more. ''It used to be that Bay 13 was just the most extreme Australian bogans, and they'd all just egg each other on,'' says one MCG staffer. ''But now it's the sort of place you can bring families.''

Preferably families who can sing.

Hauritz has clearly taken a dump in Andrew Hilditch's coffee, while simultaneously boning Pontings wife and Sister. The only reasonable excuse for him not playing. But yes, I would pick him over Beer, personally.

I'd take Hauritz over Beer, only change I'd make there. Agree that the selectors need a big shake-up.

Watson
Katich
Ponting
Clarke
White
Hussey
Haddin
Johnson
Siddle
Hauritz
Harris.

Sledging doesn't win Test matches

Malcolm Conn From: The Australian December 23, 2010

ALL of us celebrating the return of Mitchell Johnson's inswinger as the major reason for Australia's resounding third Test victory in Perth this week are apparently wrong.
According to reports elsewhere, it is the return of sledging that has enabled Australia to level the series one-all heading into the Boxing Day Test in Melbourne.

There we were rejoicing when Johnson, who claimed 0-170 in the first Test and was dropped for the second, suddenly swung a ball away late from prolific left-hander Alastair Cook and was well caught in the gully by Mike Hussey.

Oh the joy when Johnson tailed one back into Jonathan Trott and knocked him over leg before wicket for a lucky four.

The utter disbelief when, just three balls later, another darting inswinger smashed into Kevin Pietersen's front pad. Not even a desperate plea to the video umpire could prevent him from making a duck, 227 fewer than he scored in Adelaide a week or so earlier.

This pre-Christmas smorgasbord got better, with Paul Collingwood lbw to yet another unplayable Johnson inswinger.

Johnson's amazing spell of swing bowling at good pace had netted him 4-7 as England tumbled from 0-78 to 5-98 and never recovered.

There was praise all-round, particularly for Australia's bowling coach, Troy Cooley, and fitness adviser Stuart Karppinen, who rebuilt Johnson's action and strength while he sat out the Adelaide Test and during the lead-up to Perth.

But apparently we've all been looking in the wrong direction.

It wasn't the science and skill of the Australian team's backroom boys combined with Perth's prevailing Fremantle Doctor which put Johnson and Australia back on track. No, it's all that gobbing off on the field that's made the difference.

It's not the return of the inswinger but the return of sledging which seems to have Australia poised to reclaim the Ashes.

And there we were thinking it was skills under pressure which made good sportsmen great.

Being able to move the ball accurately at sustained pace, as Johnson and Ryan Harris did in Perth. Being able to bat in all conditions, including a reinvigorated fast and bouncy WACA Ground wicket, like Hussey and Shane Watson.

Things that allow you to take more wickets and make more runs than the opposition, which our junior coaches told us was the way to win cricket matches.

How embarrassing. All those kids going through the ranks not being taught cricket's most fundamental skill, how to sledge Aussie-style.

No wonder cricket in this country is on the wane. Clearly the Test side has slipped to fourth on the world Test rankings below England and lost four Tests out of five without a victory for the first time in 26 years because the players haven't been noisy enough.

Australia bowls for two days against England in Brisbane for just one wicket, where was all the sledging then?

England declares at 5-620 in Adelaide and wins by an innings for the first time in Australia since claiming an Ashes series in this country 24 years ago. Where was all the sledging then?

Suddenly Australia knocks England over in two sessions in Perth to grab a handy first-innings lead and it's all about the sledging.

From the outside looking in, that kind of behaviour appears like frontrunners being arrogant bullies. The kind of reputation Australia battled with for years as it strode the world slaying all-comers.

Sledging in cricket is the equivalent of footy bringing back the biff.

The majority of cricket fans don't want to see cricketers carrying on like schoolyard brats, just like the majority of footy fans don't want to see players the victims of thuggery.

They want to see good aggressive sport. In cricket that means batting and bowling aggressively, not mouthing off.

The national cricket team doesn't need ugly Australians, it needs smart, skilful Australians.

Yes, there will be words spoken during the heat of battle. Yes, players will be legitimately targeted with short-pitched bowling.

It's all part of a greater game defined by its skill and bravery. The best thing cricketers from both sides can do is get on with the game so the paying public are not robbed of their full quota of 90 overs a day.

Now that's entertainment.

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/sport/sledging-doesnt-win-test-matches/story-e6frg7rx-1225975177236

Police warn cricket fans to behave at Boxing Day Test

Wes Hosking and AAP From: Herald Sun December 23, 2010

MISBEHAVING drunks attending the Boxing Day Test against England face big fines and eviction, police have warned.
With cricket officials hoping to see world record crowds at the test, police have warned they will be out in force around the MCG to monitor crowd behaviour and stop drink-drivers.

Acting Superintendent Paul Pottage said booze buses would operate around the area while drunk and unruly fans would be ejected and face on-the-spot fines of up to $478.

"If you have too much to drink I can guarantee it's going to cost you $478 and you will be locked up, evicted and won't see the rest of the game,'' he said.

Acting Superintendent Pottage, speaking outside the grounds today, would not give exact police numbers at the MCG, but said they would be more than adequate.

He said police did not intend to dampen people's fun on the day, but would not tolerate bad behaviour.

"You can sing, you can have a drink, you can make a lot of noise but if you throw objects, if you disrupt the game for other patrons you will be out here and not inside,'' he said.

Cricket Australia chief executive James Sutherland said Boxing Days ticket sales had been strong, with it looking "distinctly" likely a world test record crowd would be reached.

The current record was set in 1961 when 90,800 people packed the MCG to see Australia play the West Indies.

"Based on ticket sales, there’s every indication that we are going to be in the 90,000 region," Mr Sutherland said.

"I think members will be the factor of whether that tips over to establish that record.

"At a time when people sometimes call test cricket into question, it’s a real re-endorsement of the fact that test cricket is super strong and very well supported.''

Mr Sutherland backed police calls for crowds to behave, saying there had been few problems as tests in Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth.

"We expect people to come along, make a lot of noise, have a lot of fun," he said.

"But I guess all of that comes a risk some people will ruin other people’s day, ruin other people’s fun.



"They’re really the people we want to send a message to."

With AAP

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/police-warn-cricket-fans-to-behave-at-boxing-day-test/story-e6frf7kx-1225975477751

Doug Bracewell. Relation to John?

ahem, we're talking about the world t20 champions here ;) :p

With all due respect, England's t20 and one-day sides are pretty underwhelming in the scheme of things. Broad and Anderson I fully understand, but Yardy and Wright? Might as well have Jimmy Franklin in there too.

Luke Wright would be there because of his all round value. I agree that he should probably not be in the top price bracket though after you see some of the players that are in the lesser amounts. His batting average is only 20.4 in ODI.
Michael Yardy is more a bowling all rounder with his slow left armers. Perplexed as to why he is in the top bracket as well.

With all due respect, England's t20 and one-day sides are pretty underwhelming in the scheme of things. Broad and Anderson I fully understand, but Yardy and Wright? Might as well have Jimmy Franklin in there too.

What are you surprised about? :? They're actually two very good players that a regulars in England's one day and t20 sides.

Wtf?! They're both currently in NZ, playing in one of the weakest domestic competitions in the developed cricket world. Without making significant impact, it should be said.

Other first-timers who have been included in the highest price bracket include England's Stuart Broad, James Anderson, Graeme Swann, Michael Yardy and Luke Wright.

[size=6]Former West Indies captain Brian Lara, Graeme Swann and James Anderson nominate for IPL for first time[/size]

Former West Indies captain Brian Lara is one of the 21 names to attract the highest reserve price of $400,000 ahead of the IPL players' auction, to be held in Bangalore on January 8 and 9.

Lara, who was not part of the first three editions of the IPL, has thrown his hat in the ring despite bowing out of international cricket in April 2007.

Other first-timers who have been included in the highest price bracket include England's Stuart Broad, James Anderson, Graeme Swann, Michael Yardy and Luke Wright.

Australians Adam Gilchrist, Brett Lee and Shaun Marsh have also been valued at $400,000.

Pakistan's cricketers will continue to miss out on the IPL bonanza after none of their players were included in the auction.

No Pakistani featured in a list of 416 players whose services will be auctioned for the fourth edition of the Twenty20 tournament, which is to be held in April and May.



Pakistani cricketers took part in the inaugural IPL in 2008, but were forced out of the 2009 edition due to security concerns in the wake of the Mumbai attacks, and were then ignored for the 2010 tournament.

An IPL official said the Pakistan Cricket Board had not forwarded any names for the January auction.

"The rules stipulate that a player must apply through his home board if he wanted to be put up for the auction. No names were received from Pakistan," the official said.

Notable absentees from the list include Australia trio of captain Ricky Ponting, his deputy Michael Clarke and fast bowler Mitchell Johnson, while former Test stars Matthew Hayden and Glenn McGrath also chose to skip the event.

Former England all-rounder Andrew Flintoff, who signed for $US1.55 million ($A1.56 million) with the Chennai Super Kings in 2009, was also not included.

The eight foundation franchises will be joined by two new teams from Kochi and Pune for the auction.

Twelve players who were retained by their franchises will not feature in the auction.

Star batsman Sachin Tendulkar, Harbhajan Singh, West Indies all-rounder Kieron Pollard and Lasith Malinga of Sri Lanka were retained by the Mumbai Indians.

Reigning champions Chennai Super Kings kept India captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni, Suresh Raina, Murali Vijay and South Africa all-rounder Albie Morkel.

The Aussie duo of Shane Warne and Shane Watson were retained by Rajasthan Royals, while Delhi Daredevils kept Virender Sehwag and Bangalore Royal Challengers retained Virat Kohli.

Of the other nominees, Jacques Kallis and Muttiah Muralitharan, who featured significantly for Royal Challengers Bangalore and Chennai in the first three seasons, find themselves in the $300,000 bracket.

Zaheer Khan, Yusuf Pathan, Andrew Symonds, Shaun Tait, Kumar Sangakkara and Angelo Mathews are also on that list.

Sourav Ganguly, who was Kolkata Knight Riders' 'icon' in the first three seasons, has been relegated to the third band of players whose base price is $200,000.

The Australia pair of Michael Hussey and Doug Bollinger, who played crucial roles in Chennai's victorious IPL and Champions League campaigns in 2010, are also in that bracket, along with Dirk Nannes, Eoin Morgan, Gautam Gambhir, Robin Uthappa and Sanath Jayasuriya.

Eighty-seven players are at the next level - a base price of $100,000 - the biggest names being Tamim Iqbal, R Ashwin, Morne Morkel and Ben Hilfenhaus.
http://www.foxsports.com.au/cricket/indian-premier-league/former-west-indies-captain-brian-lara-graeme-swann-and-james-anderson-nominate-for-ipl-for-first-time/story-fn50nhzf-1225974672240?from=public_rss