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imnofreak
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Ual man... I know you probably don't wanna hear this but you gotta get some more self respect and understanding of self worth.
It's not fair at all for you to be led along like this. And if she goes back with him you DON'T want her in your life. Trust me. That shit doesn't work.
I'm being direct and sorry if I offend you and I'm not trying to be a cunt but I can tell where your headspace is and I think it's not good.
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MidfieldMaestro
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I'm far from being an expert on this, but I'm agreeing with imno. Being 'on the hook' is not a good place to be, and sometimes you don't realise it til someone tells you.
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ual
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It's ok guys, I came here for honesty and I'm happy to hear it from you. I'm just gonna have to play it by ear I guess. She knows what I want and she doesn't know what she wants so she needs to sort her shit out ASAP. I'm not going to be a second choice/fall back option though, or at least I'm going to try as hard as I can to get out of that position if it comes to it. Thanks guys.
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Fredsta
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imnofreak wrote:marconi101 wrote:Well sort of got my heart broken recently, currently in the process of eating cement to harden up but damn I'm saltier than the Red Sea
Never fall for religious girls, dudes Can confirm this to be true :lol: I posted a few pages back about an experience with an NSA type relationship, didn't fall for her or anything but I'm just shooting down this religious myth, this individual is a full on nympho :lol: Obviously doesn't ring true for all but just here to break the generalization and stereotyping, some religious girls can be insatiable sluts :lol:
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AJohn
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imnofreak wrote:Ual man... I know you probably don't wanna hear this but you gotta get some more self respect and understanding of self worth.
It's not fair at all for you to be led along like this. And if she goes back with him you DON'T want her in your life. Trust me. That shit doesn't work.
I'm being direct and sorry if I offend you and I'm not trying to be a cunt but I can tell where your headspace is and I think it's not good.
100% this. Don't accept maybe I'll go to you, because it will only hurt you the longer it takes, and it's no certainty.
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ual
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Well fuck.
We talked last night and when I asked her if she was getting back together with him she replied with "it looks like it". She kept apologising and asking how much I hate her - I don't hate her, I fucking love this girl. I'm just super upset that I've been led on and lied to but I don't hate her. I don't know what to do. There's no way I can just walk away or cut her out of my life because I still have such strong feelings for her. When I told her this she told me that she still had feelings for me, they just weren't as strong as her feelings for the other cunt.
I know I seem like a desperate loser trying to cling on like this but she means so much to me and she truly made me feel good about myself and motivated me to be a better human. The fact that this cocknugget gets a second chance where I got shunted around annoys the hell out of me though.
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KiwiChick1
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Is there any way for you to convince her that she shouldn't get back with him?
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pv4
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you've got to be real about this ual - can you be best/good friends with someone who has a partner that openly hates you? it's going to be messy beyond belief. the whole friends tag never works once things get this complicated. and you need to tell her this too - you guys can't be friends, when she's chosen another bloke over you, and said bloke hates your guts. you're at the point now where if she's not going to be with you, then you have to give her massive amounts of space until they either settle together or she realizes his cocknuggetry & decides you were the better option.
if you play the "friends isn't going to work, be real about this" tag, she may even realise she'd rather not be with that dude if it means completely losing you.
sometimes you've gotta start walking out of the shop so the salesman brings his price down. it's just a coin flip whether the salesman chases you down before you get out the door, and compromises, or whether you're left outside - cold, alone & without your new bbq.
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ual
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I'm just going to bide my time for a little bit. She has all the space she needs and I'm almost certain that his faggotry will rear it's head again. I do still want to be friends with her and I will, one of the first things she told him was that I was going to be a big part of her life and he's going to have to learn to deal with it. Worst case scenario he doesn't and then I'm going to have to tell her that it's me or him, choose wisely. I really don't want to lose her as part of my life though, she means the world to me.
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afromanGT
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ual, just pull the trigger and fuck her off, she's only going to keep hurting you mate.
Tell her "look, I didn't sign up to be fucked around. I don't want it and don't need it. So this is goodbye, but I hope that when you get your shit together maybe you think of me."
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catbert
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afromanGT wrote:ual, just pull the trigger and fuck her off, she's only going to keep hurting you mate.
Tell her "look, I didn't sign up to be fucked around. I don't want it and don't need it. So this is goodbye, but I hope that when you get your shit together maybe you think of me." Somehow i don't think that suggestion will be put into practice.
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ual
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catbert wrote:afromanGT wrote:ual, just pull the trigger and fuck her off, she's only going to keep hurting you mate.
Tell her "look, I didn't sign up to be fucked around. I don't want it and don't need it. So this is goodbye, but I hope that when you get your shit together maybe you think of me." Somehow i don't think that suggestion will be put into practice. Yeah sorry Afro, I understand where you're coming from but that seems a bit drastic. I'm going to have to sit her down and explain to her everything I've been feeling and make sure she knows.
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afromanGT
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And she goes "ok, let's just be friends" but every time she sees you that hug is a little bit to familiar and she'll do little things that will do your head in.
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ual
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Oh I didn't mean and just leave it at that, I want some finality.
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leftrightout
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afromanGT wrote:ual, just pull the trigger and fuck her off, she's only going to keep hurting you mate.
Tell her "look, I didn't sign up to be fucked around. I don't want it and don't need it. So this is goodbye, but I hope that when you get your shit together maybe you think of me." This. I have never been 'friends' with a girl. Unless it was a friends gf/wife you give your friend that respect. If she's attractive you'll always want to fuck her. If she's ugly she'll secretly want to fuck you. You cant win.
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Fredsta
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ual wrote:I'm just going to bide my time for a little bit. She has all the space she needs and I'm almost certain that his faggotry will rear it's head again. I do still want to be friends with her and I will, one of the first things she told him was that I was going to be a big part of her life and he's going to have to learn to deal with it. Worst case scenario he doesn't and then I'm going to have to tell her that it's me or him, choose wisely. I really don't want to lose her as part of my life though, she means the world to me. That sounds like a good course of action mate, from the sounds of it this bloke has a real penchant for being a cunt so it's probably only a matter of time until he fucks it up anyway, and at the very least that would make the friendship a bit less complicated. I think you're just going to have to tell her that you don't think you can be around her while she's with this prick and you still haven't sorted out your feelings for her, tell her you're going to give her the space to allow both her to give her relationship a decent chance and to allow you to try and sort your head, and that eventually you want her back in your life.
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afromanGT
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She's just making excuses to keep you around. She doesn't want to be 'with' you, she just sees it as beneficial to keep you in her life. Chicks like this you need to get away from ASAP. They WILL do your head in.
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notorganic
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ual wrote:I'm in a weird position guys.
So the girl I've been talking about, we officially got together on Xmas day, right? Well 2 days later after she left my place she was overcome with guilt and texted her ex, who then called her and they spoke for a couple of hours. She broke it off with me but we're still best friends and I still want her in my life, I really do. She's now more than likely going to give him another chance provided he sorts his shit out. I'm not really upset that he's getting another chance, but I am a bit hurt that we always agreed I'd wait for her to sort her head out and make her final decision and so when she said she wanted to be with me and we made it official I thought that was it.
But that wasn't the case. After she broke it off with me I sucked it up and decided I'd now contact the guy and try to patch things up with him. What I got was an incredibly insulting, vile and hateful message basically saying he thought nothing of me, I'm a liar, socially awkward cunt etc. etc. So I didn't even get a chance to reconcile with him and apologise for the way it all turned out. So now I'm afraid that his friendship/potential relationship with her will tear her away from me (even though she assures me it won't). I'm so torn because I truly want her to be happy but I want her in my life so badly, even as "just" my best friend. We get along so well, we have the same sense of humour, I get along with her friends and family and she does the same with mine where none of that is true for the other guy. Whenever we go anywhere we have an awesome time and we just seem to enjoy everything we do together. I'm just a bit lost.
Oh and I should also mention his whole family no longer acknowledges my existence (I was quite close with them as I was really good mates with his younger brother).
I'm not really looking for advice here (though feel free to give me your 2 cents or ask questions), I just like writing it out and talking to people regardless of who/where they are about shit. What she has done to you is incredibly unfair. You don't need to hate her, but you don't need to keep her around until she's ready to commit either. A friendship can't recover from that.
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catbert
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leftrightout wrote:afromanGT wrote:ual, just pull the trigger and fuck her off, she's only going to keep hurting you mate.
Tell her "look, I didn't sign up to be fucked around. I don't want it and don't need it. So this is goodbye, but I hope that when you get your shit together maybe you think of me." This. I have never been 'friends' with a girl. Unless it was a friends gf/wife you give your friend that respect. If she's attractive you'll always want to fuck her. If she's ugly she'll secretly want to fuck you. You cant win. I'm be the only one who thinks this philosophy is a load of shit right? No disrespect. Edited by catbert: 2/1/2013 08:37:34 PM
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afromanGT
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catbert wrote:leftrightout wrote:afromanGT wrote:ual, just pull the trigger and fuck her off, she's only going to keep hurting you mate.
Tell her "look, I didn't sign up to be fucked around. I don't want it and don't need it. So this is goodbye, but I hope that when you get your shit together maybe you think of me." This. I have never been 'friends' with a girl. Unless it was a friends gf/wife you give your friend that respect. If she's attractive you'll always want to fuck her. If she's ugly she'll secretly want to fuck you. You cant win. I'm be the only one who thinks this philosophy is a load of shit right? No disrespect. Edited by catbert: 2/1/2013 08:37:34 PM You're also only...17 is it? And don't have the experience of some other forum members in being on the receiving end of a girl fucking you about.
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AJohn
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catbert wrote:leftrightout wrote:afromanGT wrote:ual, just pull the trigger and fuck her off, she's only going to keep hurting you mate.
Tell her "look, I didn't sign up to be fucked around. I don't want it and don't need it. So this is goodbye, but I hope that when you get your shit together maybe you think of me." This. I have never been 'friends' with a girl. Unless it was a friends gf/wife you give your friend that respect. If she's attractive you'll always want to fuck her. If she's ugly she'll secretly want to fuck you. You cant win. I'm be the only one who thinks this philosophy is a load of shit right? No disrespect. Edited by catbert: 2/1/2013 08:37:34 PM This too be honest. Though I can see where all the others are coming from. ual, take pv4's advice. Get her out of your life. Tell her that it's you or him, casue you can't be friends with her if her boyfriends hates her. Once she sees you walking away, that'll play on her mind a lot. If she does indeed have feelings for you, she'll come running back. If she doesn't, fuck it, you don't need her.
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notorganic
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ual
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I should have mentioned earlier, but I can't (or I feel like I can't) remove her from my life because I owe her. When I was at my lowest of lows, I'm not proud to say it but I was contemplating just ending it all. She was the one who helped me.
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notorganic
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ual wrote:I should have mentioned earlier, but I can't (or I feel like I can't) remove her from my life because I owe her. When I was at my lowest of lows, I'm not proud to say it but I was contemplating just ending it all. She was the one who helped me. Pretty much makes what she has done to you even worse.
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marconi101
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[youtube]iMUiwTubYu0[/youtube] Chill out
He was a man of specific quirks. He believed that all meals should be earned through physical effort. He also contended, zealously like a drunk with a political point, that the third dimension would not be possible if it werent for the existence of water.
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afromanGT
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ual's girl: "Like a ride". Yeah, good metaphor, marconi.
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marconi101
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Congratulations, you just missed the point
He was a man of specific quirks. He believed that all meals should be earned through physical effort. He also contended, zealously like a drunk with a political point, that the third dimension would not be possible if it werent for the existence of water.
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afromanGT
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marconi101 wrote:Congratulations, you just missed the point Some people actually feel an emotional connection to other people around them, champ. You can't keep going around telling people "chillax, life's just a ride" like it solves every problem on earth.
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marconi101
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afromanGT wrote:marconi101 wrote:Congratulations, you just missed the point Some people actually feel an emotional connection to other people around them, champ. You can't keep going around telling people "chillax, life's just a ride" like it solves every problem on earth. It really does, and I do have great relationships having this world view. There is nothing to worry about, all negativity and worry is a creation of the mind
He was a man of specific quirks. He believed that all meals should be earned through physical effort. He also contended, zealously like a drunk with a political point, that the third dimension would not be possible if it werent for the existence of water.
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afromanGT
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"My friend killed herself because I walked out on here and made the wrong choice...but eh, life's only a ride. Chillax, it doesn't matter."
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