If you pretend to be friends with a girl just because you want to ask her out, then you're an arsehole.

Agree to that.

-PB

How is that pretending?

If a guy comes straight out and is like I want to date the shit out of that, and he gets knocked back, it's hard to keep the relationship alive.
Like it or not, some guys prefer not to subject themselves to the friend zone. I used to get friend zoned all the time in high school, but I was too much o a bitch to cut my losses and do myself a favour. Let me tell you, there is nothing good about being every girl's best friend.

For all the shit 'the friend zone' gets, sometimes guys just can't handle it emotionally, and that's okay.

These days, if something doesn't work out for me and we weren't already friends, I cut my losses and call it there. If I think I can handle it, I give it a go, but in the end, having another ridiculously hot friend that I'm mad keen on just isn't worth what I'm doing to myself.

That's such a bullshit attitude to have. If you become friends with a girl, then we're fucking going to think of you as friends! If you have no intention of being friends, and only want a relationship, then man the fuck up and say that straight away so females don't have to emotionally invest in a friendship that doesn't exist.

:lol: that's a great way to explain your intentions. And I guess it depends on how close a friendship she wants.

In the end the guy has every right to pull away if it's going to best for him emotionally. As an emotional person yourself, I'd expect you to understand that.

Bullshit attitude mate! How could a guy possibly be right in a situation like this! Boys having the freedom to pick and choose their friends?!? You disgusting, sub-human, sexist pig!

Ps. I have to go to football training, but I'll post something in a couple of hours that I want your opinion on KC, as we clearly see this issue on fairly different levels, you'll probably think I'm a major dickhead for it, but I'm interested to see :lol:

I'm not talking about the getting feelings for a girl you're friends with situation, I'm talking about deliberately becoming friends with a girl with the intention of getting in a relationship with then.



If the guy is emotionally upset about rejection, then I can understand that, but if they genuinely don't give a fuck about you anymore, then that kind of really hurts.

Every girl I have ever had interest in, when they have lost interest intimately they have cut me off. A number of them do the "I hope will can still be friends" and never speak to me again if they can help it.

I'll probably be asleep in a couple of hours :P
At the moment I'm ranting about a personal situation rather than a general one, so emotions are running high for me :lol:

EG I think you and KC aren't quite on the same wavelength. I think KC is saying it is a dick move to buddy up to someone to try and win affection and get into a relationship with a person when they have no intention of actually being friends with them. Which it is.

It seems like you are saying it is fine to cut all ties with someone who isn't interested in dating you, which is also true. The overlap is when you do your situation after an extended time acting the friend as a means to a relationship. THAT is not cool.

EDIT: seems I'm a bit late to the party here. Got distracted >_>

Edited by scoll: 30/5/2013 07:29:40 PM

That's a shit thing to do too.

It seems to me that you're way to caught up on the importance of a pseudo-"friendship". Why would you bother getting upset about a friendship which you think is under false pretences?

Because I thought it was a genuine friendship at the time, and it/he kind of meant a lot to me.

So I met a girl a few months ago through a mate, we hooked up. We got together a couple of times and things started to look a little more serious, but I realised she was actually the total opposite of what I was looking for in a girl, and not the kind of girl I would even normally be friends with. So I kind of shut her out without too much explanation. We still talk on the very odd occasion, but I never let the conversation get to anything significant. In the end I found a way to bring it up, and apologised for kind of shutting her out because I didn't want a relationship and it seemed like she did. At first she rushed to agree with me, but then proceeded to question why I don't want a relationship with anyone at the moment and tried to keep talking about it... So now i don't really talk to her at all...


Dick move?

Yes

If she can't accept that you don't want to talk about it then clearly she's just proving your point about not being on the same page.

Not really. You probably would've done better to explain before shutting her out, but yeah.

This is essentially the same as the very scenario you were complaining about, but the shoe is on the other foot.

Except this was not a boy I had got with on multiple occasions, he was just a guy who I had met and become friends with. Also, it was him pursuing the relationship.

Am I the only guy that really doesn't care if a woman shaves her legs?

righto :lol:

Yeah...dude...that's pretty nasty.

Yeah you are

Depends how coarse it is.

dafuq

Ooi do you shave your legs for your partners? Otherwise that's a pretty atrociously bad double standard/prescriptive view on femininity you have going there.

A woman not shaving her legs is no worse than a guy not shaving his legs, society just yells in our faces from a young age that you can't have hair anywhere other than your scalp and still be feminine. Smooth skin feels nice, yes, and it is OK to prefer it but to suggest that something completely fucking natural like leg hair is "nasty" is just awful.

Fuck the patriarchy etc :lol:

Catbert's missus:


It's not a double standard if it's the perception of femininity and I'm of the masculine persuasion you dunce.

Uh yes it is, regardless of whether it is a normalised view or not saying one gender who naturally grows leg hair is perfectly fine keeping it whereas the other gender who naturally grows it is somehow lesser if they do you are holding a double standard. Either you hold the opinion that leg hair is gross, and thus you should also shave for your partners (I use partners as this applies to all people; straight, gay, bi, male, female, other) or that leg hair is ok and you shouldn't call girls who don't shave nasty. To call girls who don't shave nasty yet not consider yourself nasty is a blatantly sexist double standard.

The whole point of inequality is that it is prescriptive and societally normalised. If you are going to call someone a dunce, don't be wrong.

Hardly. The idea of femininity is that they be shapely, smooth, soft, sensual, etc.

The idea of Masculinity is different entirely, hair isn't necessarily unacceptable.

If your argument is "hair is hair" then go ahead and grow yourself unkempt and dirty. I do groom to an extent but I've never shaved my legs and I've never had a girl complain about that.