Sex isn't necessary for a friendship, for a committed partnership it has to be at a level that both are comfortable with.

Well personally there would probably be a certain point where i'd start getting sexually frustrated if nothing was happening. But there always has to be a level of intimacy an affection, part of a relationsip is you know and cater to each others needs.

That being said one of my best mates is in a long term relationship with a really nice but really stringent christian sort of girl, (NO SEX), and he manages fine as long as she still shows him affection.

This.

Sex can destroy everything.

-PB

Fixed.

In the words of Bill Connolly "A woman has to feel loved to have sex. And a man has to have sex to feel loved. So the basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you!"

I'm temporarily back guys, been flat out with full-time work, uni and sports lately so have barely posted lately just browsed.

I may need a bit of advice on something.
So basically I went on a lads trip with my best mates to Queensland for a few days over the long weekend.
It was good to get away as all my best mates have girlfriends and are becoming long term so they are starting to settle down a bit with their weekends etc. I'm turning 22 next month so it's probably the time a few people mature in life.

Anyway the usual shenanigans occurred over the nights we were there. Getting pissed, going clubbing and all the rest of it.

Anyway on the Friday night we were feeling more of a quiet night and ended up just going to a pub for a few beers. Generally I'm not the confident sort of guy to start talking to girls out of the blue but i'd seen 2 girls sitting near us sort of looking over prior probably a bit bored. I noticed one was at the bar and it was my shout so decided i'd go get the drinks and started talking to her. Did a little bit of small talk and they said they were from Melbourne too and then she took her drink and went to where she was, thought that'd be the end of it.
I came back with the jug of beer and her friend basically swooped in next to me and they started talking to our table.
So I started talking to the friend and immediately felt comfortable with her and she seemed real cool and was beautiful. I come from a small town and I honestly couldn't believe it when she said her parents lived in the same town and she's going to move up there soon etc. It was one of those weird moments when you travel hundreds of km's and meet someone who lives not even 5 mins away.
So basically we were chatting for the next hour and a half about anything and everything and it just seemed she had the exact personality as me, was in the same situation where all her friends had boyfriends etc.
They seemed really keen staying with us like they bought drinks too etc.
So after a while it was starting to get late and asked if she wanted to go to the dancefloor.
They came and danced for maybe 10 mins and then a long story short she started talking to some other douchbag who just seemed like a deadshit.
Long story short she basically spent the rest of the night with him and pretty sure he went back to hers.
It was really bad timing as basically a year ago to that night i'd been rejected by a girl I really liked.
After a while I couldn't stay there, told my mates I had to go in which they came with me and as I came back to the apartment I did something I hadn't done in over two years and my mates had never seen me do it before. I just balled my eyes out, not just because I got stitched up but im the sort of guy who'll bottle things up and with everyone else having long term partners and settling down and getting rejected a year prior it all hurt too much at the time.

So anyway now im back in Melbourne and I got her number on the night before it all happened :? I'm the kind of person who needs closure on things. I want to text her just to see what happens and obviously if she snobs me then so be she doesn't deserve my time anyway.
The thing is though what do I say in the initial conversation I plan to make?

Edited by aussie pride: 10/6/2013 02:48:24 PM

Btw I feel like Ted Mosby after writing that :lol:

Girlfriend broke it off earlier today. Not going to lie I was absolutely destroyed. Worst feeling when I picked her up and she had a bag with my stuff that she had in it. Knew it was over then.

Tried so hard to get her to let us work on the issue we had.

My main feeling right now is annoyance because she didn't want to work on it. I thought we would sort it out and be stronger because of it but she had already made her mind up.

I much prefer feeling annoyed rather then how I felt earlier on today anywho. Was so hard watching her get picked up by her friend though. As was removing all forms of possible contact with her.

Edited by db-pgfc: 10/6/2013 06:26:38 PM

Awww, I'm sorry for both of you :( :(

Aussie pride, are you sure it's a good idea to hit her up? If you really want to, I suppose the best thing to do is keep it nice and relaxed and casual.

I'm so sorry guys, both of your situations really suck.

i'd go for it, aussie pride. way too much of a coincidence not to

Head up and go for it. Look confident as fuck, and if it doesn't work, then make it look like you don't care and like its her loss.


Ps. Fellas, how do you feel about girls who play guitar? For me, nothing makes my dick limp quicker. Biggest turn off ever. I don't know why, but it just does absolutely nothing for me. Anyone else feel the same? Or do you all dig the Taylor swift and Ed Sheehan covers?

I don't mean to be a dick, it just bothers me for some reason I can't explain. To the point of being a deal breaker.

Any other instruments apart from the guitar that you have a problem with? It's an odd thing to hate :lol:

Naa not really. I think it's just the whole 'look I can play 4 chords on an acoustic guitar cos I'm a sick chick. Watch me play my 4000 Ed Sheeran covers cos I'm deep n that".

I was typing that really aggressively by the end. It just pisses me off.

Guitars, the word "you'se", girls who try too hard, redheads, over weight, bad breath, BO, and a big one for me is poor taste in men. If a girl doesnt appreciate a bit of class, ie. if she has poor taste in guys judging by her track record and what she's interested in.

Fair point.

Ummmm it's an enhancer for me, but not a deal breaker.

Well I can trust you alone with my girlfriends then. My last 3 have all been able to play guitar :lol:

All the bold so much. When you see a hot girl and realise that she's been with some trashbag guys and you're not exactly in the best of company that's pretty off-putting. Bad teeth is another one (kinda goes with bad breath). Just little personal grooming things - teeth, nails, etc. It makes me think "well, if you can't take pride in the stuff people CAN see then I assume you've got bad personal hygiene downstairs as well".

I don't mind a chick who's a muso, vocalists are almost always drama queens though. I find it's best to stay away from female drummers though.

my biggest turnoff is a girl who smokes.

apart from that, I'm not really into shy girls.

A female muso friend of mine had a great acronym for the type of girl you are talking about, but I just can't remember it exactly. Something like FWAGSS:Female White Acoustic Guitar Singer/Songwriters. She hates how bland and cookie-cutter so many of them are. My friend plays guitar but also keys and loops, does solo and band gigs and writes legit good songs. More grunge hybrid than your singer-songwriter fair, and she doesn't do the whole whip out the guitar and play bad covers thing.

She's a catch, and if anyone judged her for playing guitar I'd have severe issues with them :lol:. The FWAGSS though, yeah they can be a bit vanilla :P Generally a fan of musos though, people with creative interests are by and large far more interesting and exciting people.

One of my biggest turn offs is chicks that can't handle their grog, not so much in terms of just being generally munted because I applaud the effort of having a decent crack, but I'm talking about the sort of chicks that just become emotional wrecks and can break out into tears or become aggressive at a moments notice. That being said, a big turn on for me is if a girl can hold her liquor and be able to engage in the standard drunk banter.

Probably because they're not being charismatic and talking to every guy in the place they seem more achievable.

I got this chick's number last night, she works as a chef...she chased her ex boyfriend out of her house with a knife. Not sure if should back away slowly.

I think the reason I like outgoing girls is probably a little bit that they are more of a challenge, as they're in everyone's scopes already. mostly I like the idea of being able to have confidence in them in a social scene, whereas some shy girls I've been with in the past can be way socially awkward and it can ruin experiences.

Smoking used to turn me off but it doesn't really any more. In saying that I probably would never date a chick thats a full time smoker but the occasional one , particularly if she is drinking does not bother me.

Also for anyone else that has a break up go a remove all possible ways of contact with that person as soon as you can. Makes it that much easier as well as venting and talking about what is going on with friends.

Already gone through the stages of sadness, anger and the oh well time to move on and enjoy being 18 all in one day. Knowing her though I can almost expect a drunken call or text on the weekend. I'm telling myself that if it happens to just ignore or palm it off but who knows how I will react if it does happens.

TL;DR version. Women can't live with them can't live without them.

Edited by db-pgfc: 10/6/2013 10:42:03 PM

Edited by db-pgfc: 10/6/2013 10:44:24 PM

I can't say 100% but they were getting real close and then left together straight after I did and my good mate caught up with the friend and he was pretty sure he did.



That's what im thinking. Anyway we both head out to the same nightspots so i'm bound to bump into her again.



Exactly and if the first scenario does occur then at least I have closure and wont live on "what ifs" :) I seriously cannot stand living on what ifs lol.



I like your thinking as I was planning doing something along the same lines. Like i'm not going to seem like a desperado and reply to texts straight away etc.



I'm exactly the same Redkat, so much so that I've only hooked up with girls that have smoked by accident (in that I didn't see them smoke prior) and I could count them on one hand. I honestly couldn't see myself with a girl who smokes in a relationship.
I find shy girls cute as well but there is a line lol. I was with a girl who was awkwardly shy even one on one and it actually gave the impression that she hated hanging out etc. Was far too shy and didn't end well 8-[



Cheers for the advice guys, it really does help having a non biased opinion.
<3 four four two :d

These x1000

I'm the same man.

Biggest turn off for me are girls that don't have a sense of humour.

Girls who "txt lyk dis". Another massive turnoff. If you send me a message like that I'm not replying :lol:

I used to hate when girls smoked, but it doesn't bother me anymore.