Sweet Jesus :lol:

:lol: that's one of the most ridiculous but hilarious pists I've ever read :lol:

Genuine lolling!!!!!!!!!!

Gotta be another POTY contender.

hahahaha agree'd post of the year.

Just re-read this. There's a reason Dr Colin has absolutely become king of this thread.

Thanks for the advice mate, all went well on the birthday!

lol.

Dr Colin.

I hope this thread gets bumped once a month just to read that post.

Tasted fucking brilliant too. :lol:

I'm assuming the Delhi Drop went down well? (pardon the pun)

If you are flexible enough, you could try giving yourself a Delhi drop.

First you will need to tape your tackle to the side of your leg so it doesn't interfere with the drop.

Secondly, put on some relaxing music and do some light stretching. .

Then find a comfortable position on the floor. (I often find that a soft but firm surface works best). Lay on your back and slowly raise your legs up and over your head. Reach around your leg and grab your testicles and lift them up. Breathe in, close your eyes and drop them on your forehead. Repeat this process in as many spots as possible.

Once the drops have been complete, open your eyes and give yourself a pat on the back. You are one of the few men on earth who can perform this relaxation technique.

Yours in love

Dr Colin

Sweet jesus

Dr Colin

I have just made myself a cup of coffee but did not have enough full-cream milk so used half full-cream, half skim. I am worried that this will have a long-lasting effect on my sexual ability - particularly my sexual endurace. Are you able to prescribe some medication and exercises to reduce the effects of this?

buy her a butt plug some lube and then when she opens th gift drop your pants and have a big red bow on your schlong

[youtube]tJ9Uv0jTJj0[/youtube]

Hi PV4,

That's an unfortunate situation to have been in but don't worry as I am here to help.

You are right in saying that combining full cream and skim milk will reduce your sex drive.

Mother Nature being the wonderful lady that she is provided us with access to some of the most powerful natural remedies to counteract this.

First, make sure you have access to a male dog, some Chum or Pal dog food, some lubricant, a rubber glove and a cup. I find that performing this procedure in an outdoor environment works best, so pack yourself a bag with the required accessories, put the dog on a lead and head off for a walk to your nearest park.

When you arrive at the park unpack your accessories. Put the glove on, apply some lube on the fingers of the glove and position the cup so it is nearby. Pull down your pants and apply some dog food to your lower back. Get down on all fours and call your dog over. (You will need to hold this position until the task is complete so make sure you don't move). Within seconds, your dog will smell the food and start eating it from your lower back.
Not too long after that he will notice that your pants are down and proceed to try and mount you. (Try to avoid letting him penetrate you but it will speed to process up if you are restricted by time). Use the hand with the glove on and start tugging away at your dogs genitals until he is about to unleash his puppy juice.

Position the cup accurately and keep tugging until he is completely drained. 50ml of mother natures finest should do the trick so you will need to repeat this process until you have enough. Once you have the required amount, drink up. Do not use a chaser or mix the puppy juice with anything as it will reduce the effect.

A straight up mix should keep you going strong for about 24-30 hours so make sure you clear your diary!

To compliment this, try massaging your prostrate 3 times a day after food to increase your stamina.

I hope this helps you out with your concerns and please feel free to post some photos on this forum, of the extraction should you choose to take my advice

Yours in love

Dr Colin

You could use Colin's suggestion... Or just drink more champaign.

lol

I tried Colin's suggestion but I only have a male Chihuahua... very awkward.

Hi quichefc,

Have you tried laying down on your stomach instead?

We have had a few patients that have had bad backs and are unable to get into position so we suggest swapping the dog with a Shetland pony. Or if you are really adventurous and your back is up to, you could try a Clydesdale.

Dr Colin

As an expert in horse semen I find it odd that you haven't recommended substituting the chum for some hay or grain? From experience grain yields a better quality sample p/mm than hay which gives you more mm but less quality.

your thoughts?

I also have some great concerns over the lack of hydration mentioned. Decisions on food choices are a little redundant if we're not keeping the liquids up.

Thank you Glenn and PV4,

I forgot to mention that you should substitute the Chum with some Molasses if you are going to be utilising the services of a horse.

PV4 - Hydration can become a concern. Perhaps you have seen Bear Grylls rig up a contraption on Man Vs Wild were he uses a bottle of water and tube and inserts it directly into his rectum? Perhaps you could try this method to quickly hydrate yourself so you could focus on the task at hand.

Pour beer down your back and watch Heineken arrive.

Kinky

Lads, because I'm the most open and honest person on this forum... Does anyone have experience with a girl who has lost their sex drive? Very sadly I've had to read up about it lately.

How so lost her sex drive? She's just not wanting to shag any more, or is she just uninterested during sex, i.e lies there with a bored expression on her face waiting for you to 'be over and done with'?

Perhaps you need to 'spice up' your sexual activities with her. Be open and honest. Suggest new positions or even places. Sometimes the most fun you can have is outside the bedroom in places that are the most risky. And no, I'm not suggesting you hire a bathroom stall at the Tollgate. :lol:

ive heard cuckold sometimes works. or swinging

It's a bit pointless for a teenager who's never had a girlfriend to give sex advice, but whatever.

Has she started taking any sort of birth control or other medication recently? That could be affecting her libido.

Otherwise, it could just be that she's tired of the same old routine, no offense. Try spicing things up. There's a website called mojoupgrade.com where two partners can select which fetishes and fantasies they would and wouldn't be interested in acting out. Once both partners have taken it, they can see which things both of them want to try in the bedroom.

Hope things improve in the bedroom m80

Yeah, there's a whole heap of factors. Recently changed pill, shit work environment, some family tension and some relationship tension a while back seem, which seems to have all taken it's toll.

Tis frustrating.

Get high