Sharon Stone has been spotted at the pub, drinking her wounds away after been viciously attacked by a mother with a knife.

Where is she!
I can't ger buses there mum will be at the bus stop waiting for me. I'm hiding under a bridge and I can see rainbow trouts and large amounts and varietys of cheeses dancing. I think those happy pills are kicking in

:lol: :lol: :lol: This thread has delivered so much.

WGMG: these pills have made me visualise dancing washing machines. I miss my Barbra Streisand. What should I do. ?
Mum found me so I am back at home she has the pumps on her making Magic milk for me. She thinks I need it. She's calmed down. Only problem is due to the noise I made leaving the grandma behind my house saw me. She knows where I live and I worry she wants more. I can't do it. She is a sex machine and if mum finds out I am not a Virgin I'm in so much trouble. I'm meant to be her little drummer boy. Guys help?!?!

Manrubz is suddenly funny

wgmg. I put a soap up my bum and it slipped up. It's stuck. Mums lost her shit. Off to hospital

Trout son, lettuce have a chat.

Your mum sounds like a real piece of work, but really deep down, I think she cares about you. She's probably concerned about your health, and so maybe you ought to put her mind at ease somewhat. Next time you feel like making the bald man cry, head on down to your local green grocer and grab yourself the biggest cucumber you can find. In my experience, names are not advised, as they help to form attachment. So let your cucumber remain nameless until you're ready to take things to the next level.

Unlike female cucumber activities, male cucumber activities require a little more preparation.
First of all, source a power drill and fix the longest drill bit on, that you can find. Then begin to drill the end on the cucumber. Push it in the full way and start to wide the hole, until you have hollowed out a portion of the length of he cucumber. If you're a gifted lad, get a spoon and go digging in the hole, to give yourself a little more wiggle room (be sure to test slowly as to not risk a penal fracture). When you're sure that you can thrust your groin bullet into the cucumber cavity with youthful enthusiasm, get a knife and some Vicks. Spread the Vicks with the knife through the hole generously. This will ensure a warm, wet, environment for your weapon of mass debation.
The reality here is that you have an organic method of living out your teenage dreams, in a way that will keep you happy, and is good for the whole family.
I hope I've been of some assistance.

WGMG. just got out of hospital. Mum isn't happy. The doctor put his fingers in my bum to remove the soap. I actually enjoyed it.
Should I give up the grandmas or continue slaying the holy grail of women and entering thier temple of doom?
I'm confused tonight's been a real eye opener I'm not sure anymore. Mum hit me in the car said she's upset. She saw my phone go off and freaked thought it was a girl.

I'm also very sad and angry she stabbed my Sharon stone. Grrrrr!!!

Salmon I think a big contributor to your issues is your mum. You need to sit down and have an adult conversation with her. Let her now you're not her little boy anybody you neer to get out and spread your wings. Tell her that her wrapping you up in cotton wool is drastically effecting your social skills.

You need to sot down and have this chat with her mate. She is a major contributer

Breaking News!!!!!

At 9pm EST, a woman going by the name of Sharon Stone has been murdered in a back alley street in Adelaide,S.A. The cause of death was from several stab wounds to the genital area, leaving the victim looking deflated and almost plastic in appearance. Police are labeling this as suspicious and have several leads that point to a mother of a young boy who ran away from home who is suspected of taking pingas from a stranger.

More to come as news breaks.







Edited by Gayfish: 18/12/2015 09:38:21 PM

Are you talking too me. I've spread my wings and let my mass destruction nuke do its thing. Earlier today I went to maccas and have a bird a happy meal. Her beef patty was tender and moist and so succulent.

I can't believe my mum did this. I will never rub the slippery strawberry stuff on her vagina again. She said it helps her and its medication. But she always asks me to do it while there is a man in the room. Why can't he do it. The jam is yum. But very slippery. Almost like a lubricant. But I trust my mum. She never lets me down.

WGMG: Today i had a coke thrown at me by a 16 year after i caught her stealing at work( 4th time in about 2 months) . Her mother then came in after and said if i speak to her daughter again whilst shes in the store she go to the police for harassment. I don't need this shit i literally fu**ing hate people so much right now.

Hahahaha housos will be housos dude

Any chance this job is going in Brisbane? I'm available and won't do any of the above.

Oh lord, this thread is brilliant. :lol:

WGMG: just saw this ad on tv

[youtube]D1jMY-HWBHw[/youtube]

Thing is im watching Bundesliga on Eurosport.... and that shit comes on

epic cringe

WGMG: I thiugt it be a good idea to shave my man hair from my down under region. I don't shave mum doesn't like it she thinks a sharp blade on my face is dangerous. So I found mums shaver and attempted to shave. But the shaver got stuck in my Brazilian rain forest. Literally it's stuck I cant get it off. Mum heard me scream and came in she saw my war plane and her shaver stuck. She tried to yank it out but it didn't work. Also while I was eating my coco pops I dropped it and my dog sir Isaac Newton licked it off and because he likes chocolate he took a bite out of it. 2 bites in 2 days. Fml.
Also last night mum brought a man over. I found it weird at night they made me lick a lollipop. Mum found it funny it was dark and I couldn't see so it was weird. My life's a mess. Also I mess my Sharon stone blow up doll and my Barbra Streisand fleshlight. I really want to go buy another flesh light.

Update.

Police over night have questioned Winona Ryder, a close friend of the deceased Sharon Stone, in an attempt to understand the motives of the suspect in the violent murder.

It is understood the she had several talks with the deceased in the lead up to the fatal murder. It is reported that the mother of the boyfriend had only just found out about the relationship and strongly disapproved. Several death threats were left on the deceased voicemail, that included threats to the vagina and anal area with a knife.

Police are still searching for the suspect for questioning and advise anyone that sees this individual should contact police straight away and do not approach.

Winona Ryder is clearing in a state of shock to this murder, as can be seen from a photograph after an interview with the police.



More to news to follow.

Edited by Gayfish: 19/12/2015 10:35:13 AM

:lol: Some CSI shit now.

Bit of a low blow there fam

Wow.... That's awful

WGMG: I'm grinding my teeth in my sleep and I don't know how I can stop it before all my teeth are dull and blunt.

they have sleep mouth guards for that

Yep go get one. It can be fucking painful after a woke if grinding.

If you have private health insurance with your mum you shouldn't be out of pocket too much.

Looking into it atm. Is there anything I can do to actually stop grinding my teeth, or do I just have to manage it?

What i was told by my dentist was that it's stress related.
But after about a year with the mouth guard i stopped grinding.

Maybe look into mediation. People will give you shit but it can help with a lot of things.

This year hasn't been the most relaxing year in my life, I'll admit that, but apparently I've been doing this my whole life. It's getting pretty bad because the bottom of my front teeth aren't flat and straight anymore and I must be biting my cheeks as well because I can literally scrape off the white flesh on the inside of my cheek.

I've also been meaning to get into meditation for my anxiety, but I don't really have much time on my own when I wouldn't be disturbed.