Wait, are you serious or joking? i cant tell, in case youre not joking you can see the punchline by highlighting the blacked out part.

You're obviously 2stoned2knowaboutthespoilertagstoo. Highlight the punchline and you can read the rest of the joke. It's so that people don't inadvertently read the punchline while scrolling, thus ruining the joy of the joke.

Oh i see what you did there.... ha.. you make funny..

Oh wow. #-o :lol:

Funny that, i didnt no making the Champions League final 2 years in a row was counted as useless

How do two gays settle a dispute?

[spoiler]They go outside and exchange blows[/spoiler]

haha decent one, made me chuckle :P

yup feel really stupid now!! ta....lol. damm now i have to read the thread again. hmmmm it was really late ok..lol

Edited by 2stoned2play: 12/2/2010 08:36:28 PM

I still remember play time at school. A bit of footy, sneakin a quick cigarette, and trying to touch up the girls behind the bike sheds.
Shit I loved that caretakers job.[-x

A man comes back from the Amazon with a cock sucking frog and gives it to his wife. She asks "what should I do with that?"
He replies "teach it to cook and then piss off".[-x

Eddie McGuire asks Wayne Bridge:

“For £64,000, what is the colour of Vanessa Perroncel’s pubic hair? Is it, A - Brown, B - Black, C - Blonde or D - Ginger”

Wayne think for a second.

“Can I phone a friend, Eddie?”

=d>

lmao!! classic

:lol: :lol: very funny

A guy loses his arm while over fighting in iraq. The military sieze on the opportunity to test out new voice controlled prosthetic limb technology. The man thinks 'yeah, why not?' since he doesn't have anything else to lose. So he gets the limb fitted and goes down to the pub to take it for a test run.
He orders a beer and the bartender sets it down in front of him. "Pick it up" he instructs his limb.
"Bring it to my mouth" and it does.
"Tip it" and he drinks from his beer.
He thinks 'well, this is pretty good' and downs a few more beers before he needs to go to the toilet. So with no other option, off he goes to the bathroom, steps up the urinal and instructs his arm.
"Unzip my pants"
"Flop it out" all is well and he stands there and takes a leak. When he's done he instructs the arm, "shake it" to get rid of those last few drops an he thinks to himself 'that feels pretty good'.
"shake it again" he instructs it and thinks 'mmm, that feels really good'.
"Pull me off" and the arm yanks forward, severing his member in its clutches.
The man is in surprise and pain, "FUCK ME!" the man shouts...

Hmmmm.....Ouch. :lol:

Here's a truly heart warming story about the bond formed between a little 5 year old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...

A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot.

One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those arseholes at Bunnings ever deliver the fucking Gyprock..."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it.

Out of curiosity I entered the word "dickhead" into my Navman just to see what would happen. I hope that you have got some cold beers because I am outside your house.

:lol:

=d> =d> =d> I thought "I hope this isnt heading in a bad direction" but was glad I read it :)

Yeah, thats an oldie but a goldie, get a good laugh out of that, especially when you're worried at the begining cause you see a 5 year old, and a bunch of construction workers...

A man didnt no wat to go to a fancy dress party. finally after a while of thinking he went with no shirt or socks, just his pants. the host asked him wat are you suppose to be and he replied premature ejaculation I just came in my pants


8-[

:lol: < I did that.

:lol: :lol:

So this person is having a fancy dress party where you have to come as an emotion. The guest start to arrive and there's a knock at the door. The host opens the door and there's a man there completely green she asks "what are you meant to be?"
"I'm green with envy."
The host says this is great and invites the man in. No sooner does the door close than there's another knock and there's a man in red standing there "and what are you meant to be?"
"I'm red with anger"
She thinks this is acceptable and lets the man in. No sooner does the door close but there's another knock. She opens the door to find two men, one with a pear on his crotch and the other with a bowl of custed across his groin. She asks "what the hell are you two doing?"
The first man replies "well, I'm deep in dis pear and he's fucking dis custard."

#-o :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

one day a man decided he might sign up for the 442 forums, he was asked to enter a username and password. after a lot of thinking the man decided his password would be penis, so he typed it in and clicked the sign up button. then a message came up saying ERROR! password not big enough!

:shock:

mediocre at best. youre better than that.

This is a true story though isn't it Gooner. Hang your head in shame son.