i feel the same way.

Dude, if your gut is telling you not to send it don't send it. Use it as a guide though refine it if you will. It's more about getting shit off your chest and giving you a verbal guide if you do decide to chat to her.

Hi thread. I'm going to post the condensed version of what I'm going through at the moment, because I got 3 paragraphs into writing out the long version, and hadn't even reach the issue yet, so I'm not going to bore you with that.

Essentially, my GF has fallen for one of her close friends, who lives overseas. This started around May this year, and happened for a variety of reasons. I don't really blame her, because for most of this year, I've been to busy feeling shitty about myself to bother showing her that I still care (Long story).

I discovered what was going on around 2 months ago (start of July), through the ever classy method of finding their Skype conversations on her laptop. I confronted her about it, and we talked, and decided we would try to make things work, etc etc.

The reason I'm here now is though, is because nothing has changed. They still talk the same way, they still feel the same way about each other, it's all the same. She's apparently planning to move over to the US, where he lives, by next June. I feel like filth because I have to go through her messages and etc to find this out, but what else am I meant to do?

Anyway, I come to you guys tonight, because I don't know where to go from here. I know I'm going to have to confront her again, but I'm torn between just saying that's it, we're over...or trying to salvage something out of this.

I dunno. Apologies for the rambling, just needed to get something out there. :lol:

Don't fly off the handle or go into a confrontational situation. It's just a shit thing that happened and it's time for you to both move on.

No use in prolonging the inevitable.

Im probably the last guy on the forum who should be giving advice on this matter, but just talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel, it seems like you just prolonging the inevitable and that she is hoping that she can just move over there and you will just forget everything and make like nothing happened.

Just dont go ape shit about it, just be calm and relaxed and talk to her normally.

Zimbos is right to just reiterate my post back to you Funky ;)

You've gotta stay strong, too. She might realise her mistake at some point, but I think everyone knows that it's too late for all that.

Morbid Curiosity I spose, but yeah, I know. I don't regularly do it, it's only been once or twice in the past month or so.





Yeah, by confront, I meant just bringing it up and talking. The first time I brought it up wasn't aggressive or anything like that, and this one won't be either. Just a poor choice in word.

You're emotionally close to the situation, the rest of us are not. Which is why the advice is hard for you to follow - but you have to cut your losses and move on. You cannot make a person "unfeel" anything, so take a deep breath and do it. Talk to her and basically (calmly) tell her you're letting her go, so that she can be with this guy. Remember the "if you love somebody set them free" rule...

You'll also respect yourself more.

And once you're by yourself, you'll need to address your own personal stuff that's been affecting you, otherwise you'll have trouble moving forward.

All the best mate.

You can't change who a person likes. Move on and build your bridges. There's no point in trying to keep things going and ending up making things worse. At least now you've got the opportunity to let things go on reasonably 'good' terms.

If someone is no longer in love with you the best you can expect is to be able to maintain a friendship. Don't 'confront' her about it, start a conversation about your situation and seek resolution. If you are reasonable about things I can pretty much gaurantee that she is going to feel like complete and utter shit by the end of the conversation, as long as you do to things: show self respect and don't let her (or you!) turn it into a fight - women want it to be a fight because then they can make themselves feel better about the situation.

Yeah, I'd agree with pretty much everything that has been said. It's astronomically hard to deal with something like this, especially after how long you've been together. But you have to be honest with yourself and do what is best for you in the long run. If she doesn't love you anymore, that's just an unfortunate fact. Like Ashnak said, you don't have to make a fight out of it, just clear the air.

Im slowly getting the courage to talk to this girl ive been going on about, about the situation and so on. At the moment, there is too much going on with my sister getting engaged and one of her close friends getting engaged and then one of our close freinds having a wedding next weekend.

Hopefully all goes well, probably chat to her after our event next sunday. I keep playing in my mind though that as im finally geting the courage to do this, bam shell get engaged or something will come out, which probably would happen, and ill fall back in to this state of almost depression.

Best of luck to you :)

No troubles here; just wanted to say that I love my girlfriend.

Has put up with me for 4 years thus far, rewarding here with trip to Sydney.

I play on wifing her some point soon.

-PB

Cute!

Had a bit of a depressing moment earlier this arvo, when on facebook I stumbled across this hot chick who I used to know. Turns out she's going out with a dero. *sigh*

dero??

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dero

Mind you, this is just me being bitter and judging a book by its cover.

He probably has a bigger penis than you.

4 years bagz. Time to put a ring on it.

Sorry for my disappearance fellas, I'll be here to help you sort out your troubles once again!

KT tip #23 - Never continue to date someone because you're too scared of how they'll react when you dump them. It's not fair on either of you, and the longer you wait, the harder it will be!

Pffft. Date girls based around how spectacular you anticipate the break-up being :lol:

:lol: this is why it's KT's thread and not afro's

On a not particularly urgent note, but ideas are apreciated, things have been a little stagnant lately with my girlfriend, and by that i mean we just don't seem to engage with each other as much anymore, talk as much in each others' presence, and so on. It could easily just be a passing glitch, but any (proactive) thoughts would be apreciated

How long have you guys been together, Catbert?

anniversary is coming up in little over a month, im trying to gather ideas on that too

Which anniversary? :lol:

first annual

Kids these days, so many of them observe ridiculous anniversaries so I had to ask.

I've got a friend who marks every six months for when she met the guy and when they became 'official'.

:lol: I know the feeling, i did laugh when a mate was celebrating 'a three month anniversary'

Hey, it's longer than a Kardashian marriage.