Seize the Carp :lol:

This thread makes me want to have a shower. Thank you Zimbos for changing the subject from memory glands with elephantitis to something much for civil.

No, basically, this is how it works.

If I am interested in someone, I tell my parents. My parents then speak to their parents. If her parents agree then they tell their daughter and if she says yes, then you take it from there, if she says no, then you move on.

In this case, ive told my parents. I actually spoke to her mum because I was in England at the time and so it was easier. My parents said they were happy and her mum said she was happy but, it wasn't going to be as straightforward.

Shes 18, im 25, so theres a fair gap there in age, and whilst that's not really much of an issue especially as she is way more mature than her age and what not, anyway, shes not at the same level or thought process that I am. Her mum also said she knows her daughters quite well. If you tell them that someone likes you, they tend to avoid that person. Happened to my brother when he told the mum about the other sister. She would avoid him and so on but eventually came to and now they married. But back on track, yeah, shes younger, not at the same thought process, shes found a friend who she can relate to and who can understand her quirky and weird ways and vice versa, the mum does not really want to scare her off and feels by telling her, it would do just that, and also the stages we both at are probably quite different.

I dunno if that made sense.




You telling me. When I told my cousin, he just looked at me and was like, "why the eff you make things tough"

Yeah I understand Zim. I guess it's one of them things where hindsight will end up the biggest winner in the end. You'll either kick yourself for "jumping the gun" or you'll kick yourself for not being upfront about it. Or, it'll all work out & you'll laugh at the deal you made about it.

But yeah it just seems interesting that intentions are made, approvals given, etc - but "pressuring them into doing something" is seen as a bad thing. Just seems odd to me - it's totally based around pressuring them to do something!

Fascinating how it works in other cultures... for example you could be forgiven for thinking that Notorganic just knocks women on the head and drag them back to his cave.

Zimbo - She sounds like a great girl. If this were me and I thought she liked me but may not be ready to commit (18 is very young if it's not to date etc) then I would atleast test the water to see whether it's worth my while maintaining hope. But then again I don't know if going against the Mothers wishes is really bad or just a bit cheeky...

Sounds like you've told everyone except for her...

"for example you could be forgiven for thinking that Notorganic just knocks women on the head and drag them back to his cave."

No, I don't think that's a forgivable thought.

I don't think my wife would consider it very forgivable either.

I too was quite confused when I read that... :-k

Yeah im torn between saying something and effing up my friendship, especially knowing the information I have from the mother and the way she spoke when she was here about her thoughts and so on.

No decisions are made. Its just approval from parents to say, if you interested in that person then you have our backing or approval, whether she says yes or no is another issue. My parents had approaches about my sister few years back and they said no for whatever reasons they had and that was the end of that. So its basically just getting approval to talk to that person, its not approval of marriage or anything.




Drag them back to his cave? He bites their leg and pull them like they carcasses.

She is quite unique, don't meet many Muslim girls who like the things she does and etc etc. Yeah, I don't want to go against the mothers wishes. After all, she is my brothers mother in law and I don't want to eff that up, plus the girls grandparents love me and if I plan on going UK for a few years to do my coaching badges, chances are ill be seeing them more often than not.




Hahaha, pretty much. Its so romantic. Isn't it? Isn't it? No? Yes? Yeah it is. It is right?

It's interesting. I decided to go the traditional route & ask my mrs's Dad permission to marry her. I remember feeling more nervous for that, than actually asking the mrs :lol:

At least with your situation Zim - it weeds out the men from the boys and really sorts out whether a girl is worth chasing or not. If you can't muster the courage to ask her parents permission first, she's probably not worth it. At least now you know she's enough of a deal to chase, after asking her parents if they're cool with it :lol:

hmmmm...Not sure if serious or making joke with the lol face....

I would never go after a girl without the parents permission, that's just how it works in our religion and culture.

Edited by zimbos_05: 28/8/2013 10:57:57 AM

What I'm saying is if a girl is worth talking to her parents first, she's probably worth continuing to chase. It's an intersting way of looking at starting a relationship - some relationships in anglo culture just start due to laziness or settling or whatever, at least with your culture you have to noticeably make an effort to make it happen

Ahh I see what you mean. Well like I said, I'm kinda not sure what im doing. Probably going to take some time to think about it and see what happens now that they gone back. Hopefully the whatsapp continues, shes damn lazy at whatsapping.

Memory glands :lol:

Zim, are you able/allowed to tell this girl directly that you're a bit keen on her?

notorganic might be unrelenting and brutal with his views on religion but portraying him as a Neanderthal when you've got guys like COYS and ozboy to train your crosshairs on seems a little harsh :lol:

:lol: memory glands. :lol: elephantitis.

A wise man once said "Boobs to a gay man are like ears on a dog. Some like them small and pointy, some like them big and round, either can make them look cute but at the end of the day you're not fucking a dog".

Why would people bother making stuff up though? Having sex doesn't make you special.

Having sex is the most masculine act a man can do. It's a monster deal in a mans world

Since I'm not a dude I guess I'll just have to take your word for it.

I just don't understand why it's such a big deal tbh.

Because that's how men judge each other.

It isn't.

Young fellas who can't control their erections make it a big deal.

-PB

Can't wait to grow a beard so I can control my erections :cool:

That makes no sense to me, why does it matter whether or not someone else is getting some?

It shouldn't matter at all, nor am I saying it should be as big a deal as it is. But to most young gys (can't speak for the older guys), they love to brag about getting laid and how many girls they pull. It's the opposite to women. A girl gets with 5 guys in a night she's a slut, a guy gets with 5 girls in a night and he's a hero. I know a lot of young guys have a need to prove themselves to their peers and gain respect, and one way to do that is via sleeping with girls.

How on earth did I miss this comment.



I am able to tell this girl if I wanted to. Religion doesn't say you cant tell the girl you like her, it only states that the parents must be told and a formal approach to talk to her made in that way. Im just not sure I want to because she seems to be at a stage where shes not really thinking the same as I am. I told you there is the age difference and I know for a fact that she is not thinking on that same level just yet. Plus, I really enjoy our conversations and hanging out with her, and if her mum is correct in saying that telling her will mean she ignores me, I rather not to do that now.

Don't need to grow a beard to be mature lol.

Young males just need to grow up in general.

-PB

Took me a few seconds to work out wtf he was on about :lol:



The age difference is less of a factor than it would be if she was younger.
Honestly if you don't really mind about anything not happening between the two of you at the moment, then just let the friendship develop more and get to know her better. From what you've said, her family likes you a lot, so there's no trouble there. If you don't have a problem with taking things how they come and letting them develop naturally, then keep doing what you're doing, but be mindful that she might not be there forever.

That's so pointless. Sex shouldn't make others think you're cool. Also, girls are allowed to have and enjoy sex too, with whoever they want.

I'm not saying girls aren't allowed to enjoy sex, I'm just pointing out how they get judged differently to guys.