Yeah, that's Russia for you. The police there are useless and corrupt as fuck.

That Ukrainian video still gives me shudders. Sat through a lot of strange, crazy, bizzare and downright disgusting videos on the internet, but that one made me want to bring my dinner up.

Man tries to open plane door at 35,000ft
by: By Ray Massey, Transport Editor
From: Daily Mail July 02, 2013 8:02AM

A CRICKET star searching for the lavatory on a trans-Atlantic flight allegedly caused panic among passengers yesterday when he tried to open the cabin door at 35,000ft.
The Sri Lankan was said to have pushed and pulled for up to two minutes at the exterior door on the packed British Airways flight from St Lucia to Gatwick after playing against the West Indies.

Terrified passenger Charlene Francis, 26, said: "It was pretty frightening. Suddenly he came over and tried to open the cabin door several times. It went on for a few minutes. He was pulling quite heavily.

"Some of his teammates were shouting and telling him to stop. Somebody said they had been drinking for four hours before they got on the plane." The recruitment consultant, from Willesden, North London, added: "The flight attendants came running down the aisle and tried to calm him down. It was very scary. He looked very dazed or drunk."

Mrs Francis said the incident happened six hours into the flight and the man was among a group of cricketers wearing the blue Sri Lankan polo-shirt with their country's name in yellow lettering.

She heard him tell cabin crew aboard the Boeing 777 carrying 229 passengers that he had been looking for the toilet - an account confirmed by BA.

A spokesman for the airline said: "During the flight a man got up and tried to go to the toilet. But instead of going to the toilet he tried to open the aircraft door in mid-flight. The event was linked to an element of alcohol. He explained his mistake and cabin crew accepted it in good faith."

BA stressed that it is impossible to open the pressurised door in mid-flight. At Gatwick, the players boarded a flight for Sri Lanka. Officials confirmed that the man was a Sri Lankan cricketer but declined to name him.



Read more: http://www.news.com.au/travel/news/man-tries-to-open-plane-door-at-35000ft/story-e6frfq80-1226672940628#ixzz2XtCyYPm9

Please be Lasith Malinga.

That's bullshit. Sending cock pictures on work computers should be grounds for dismissal, end of.

What the fuck, Australian judges?!

Earth 'had two moons'
The Earth’s moon may once have not been on its own, according to lunar scientists.

By Claire Carter10:31AM BST 07 Jul 20131 Comment
The smaller ‘twin’ moon is believed to have only survived a few million years before it collided with the one we see today to leave just one.
The theory will be explained by Professor Erik Asphaug, from the University of California at Santa Cruz at a conference about the moon to be held at the Royal Society this September.
He said: "The second moon would have lasted for only a few million years; then it would have collided with the moon to leave the one large body we see today.
“It would have orbited Earth at the same speed and distance and just got slowly sucked in until they hit and then coalesced.”
Prof Asphaug told the Sunday Times he believes the landscape of the moon, which appears to have mountains, are the remains of Earth’s smaller moon when the pair collided.

The Earth and its moon are thought to have been formed between 30 million and 130 million years after the birth of the solar system, about 4.6 billion years ago.
A total of nine ‘super-Earths’, planets between one and 10 times the mass of Earth have previously been found.
Scientists from Harvard put forward a theory last year that suggested the Moon was once part of Earth that spun off after they collided with another body. The study was published in journal Science.
Last month astronomers reported discovered three planets, similar to Earth, orbiting around a single star which may be able to support life.
Researchers estimate there could be as many as 100 billion planets similar to the Earth in our galaxy, the Milky Way.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/10165036/Earth-had-two-moons.html

Humans could eventually grow beaks, scientist predicts

It might sound more like science fiction than a serious prediction, but a biologist has suggested that humans could one day evolve to grow beaks.

By Rosa Silverman, and Resham Khan12:41PM BST 04 Jul 2013

Dr Gareth Fraser, of Sheffield University, said a beak would be “more robust and practical” than teeth and would not rot, chip or fall out.
We will not be seeing beaked humans in our lifetime, however, as any evolutionary change in which the teeth fused together to form a tough, pointy bill, would not happen for several million more years.
Dr Fraser said: “It could be possible for humans to evolve to grow beaks, like pufferfish, which may be more robust and practical.”
The biologist has explored why humans grow only two sets of teeth in their lifetimes, while some other creatures grow many more.
Sharks, for example, form a new set of teeth about once a fortnight.

Dr Fraser has pinpointed the cells responsible for the growth of new teeth in other animals and believes scientists could eventually stimulate similar cells in the human mouth to create more sets of teeth.
He told the Daily Mail: “I guess people will be looking at whether you can make perfect teeth. But there will always be orthodontists employed because even when you have new teeth, there is going to be a need for positioning.
“With our extended lives and modern diets, the limited supply of human teeth is really no longer fit for purpose.
“Our research is focused on looking for ways in which we can replicate the way that fish create an endless supply of teeth and bring this capability to humans.”
This is unlikely to happen for at least another 50 years however, he added.
In 2009 scientists from the University of Tokyo successfully grew replacement teeth in mice from cells in a laboratory.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/evolution/10159696/Humans-could-eventually-grow-beaks-scientist-predicts.html

Humans won't evolve any further in any significant fashion. They've reached a point in their development where they change their environment to suit them, rather than changing to suit their environment.

Anyone know the joke?

Also - what a load of bollocks. A "lack of clarity" in your job role does not mean that sending dick pics is OK.

Well either he knows what his job entails because he's been doing it, so he knows he's been doing the wrong thing. Grounds for firing.

OR he hasn't been doing his job. Grounds for firing.

Coffin maker aims for further growth

Bdaily Business News
10 JUL 2013 FINANCE


The UK’s largest independent coffin manufacturer is aiming to secure further organic growth after successfully completing a three-year investment cycle with regional fund management firm NEL Fund Managers. Since securing a £150,000 investment from the Finance For Business North East Growth Fund that NEL manages in 2010, JC Atkinson & Son has seen its annual turnover rise from £5.5m to around £7m, and now employs more than 100 people at its purpose-built Washington factory. The Washington-based company currently supplies around 60,000 coffins and caskets every year to customers in every part of the UK, and has substantially extended its offering to manage demand for every type of coffin, which are sold through the firm’s expanding wholesale division.

Products range from traditional-style, Fairtrade willow and self-design coffins through to coffins made from bamboo, wicker, seagrass and even Yorkshire wool. Having been named by the Sunday Times as the UK’s Best Green Company in 2008, the firm has also continued to maintain its industry-leading focus on environmental best practice.

It has obtained and retained the Carbon Trust Standard, which provides a commitment to reducing carbon emissions, and launched a specialist Greener Goodbyes service to help customers looking to arrange a ‘green’ funeral for themselves or their loved ones. Originally founded in 1936, JC Atkinson & Son works with a UK-wide customer base of independent funeral directors, as well as acting as a specialist supplier for a number of larger, household name funeral businesses, and received its first NEL investment in the year 2000. Managing director Julian Atkinson says: “We have grown ten-fold in the last 20 years, and having the capital available that we’ve needed to do this has been critical to our success. “NEL believed in our vision for the business, and the relationship that we’ve had with them over the years has been extremely positive for all sides. “The continuing expansion of the wholesale side of the business has complemented our manufacturing success very well, and we’ve been able to both bring in skilled new staff and keep our existing staff happy and motivated, which has all contributed to enabling the business to grow in a sustainable way. “The funeral market has diversified greatly in recent years, with a large number of people now looking for a more personal coffin which can relate to the way they have lived their life, and we’ve extended our product range substantially to meet this demand. “We now have an impressive range of skills on the board, as well as across the company as a whole, and can see clear opportunities for future growth which will help consolidate and build on what we’ve achieved so far while retaining the culture that has helped make us successful in the first place.“ Barrie Hensby, chief executive at NEL Fund Managers, adds: “JC Atkinson’s highly effective, long-term use of investment capital sets a great example for other north east firms looking to expand their operations and create new jobs to follow. “The Finance For Business North East Funds provide a real opportunity for regional businesses to gain a competitive advantage over their rivals, and we remain as keen as ever to talk to more management teams with strong track records and robust plans for development about how we can help them achieve their commercial objectives.“ Aimed at regional businesses which are at a development and growth stage, the Growth Fund forms part of the wider Finance for Business North East Fund. Managed by North East Finance, it will see £125m of investment capital injected into the region by the European Investment Bank and the European Regional Development Fund 2007-13 over a five year period. NEL is looking to make around 130 investments over the five-year life span of the Growth Fund, and is actively looking to speak to ambitious north east companies with robust business plans.

http://bdaily.co.uk/finance/10-07-2013/coffin-maker-aims-for-further-growth/?

MAN KICKS LOG, LOG IS ACTUALLY AN ALLIGATOR, ALLIGATOR BITES MAN'S HEAD

Mark O'Shea
10th July 2013 By Andy Wells
A MAN who kicked what he thought was a log got a nasty comeback.

The 'log' was actually an alligator, who didn't take too kindly to being pelted, and bit back.

Andrew Hudson, 17, was swimming in Florida's Little Big Econ State Forest at the time when he decided to kick the 10ft log.

At this point, it started moving and the alligator launched an attack on the teen, ripping open two gashes on the side of his skull.

Pal Mark O'Shea said: "He kicked and started punching the gator.

"That's what he told me [happened] when he was under the water."

Fortunately, a bleeding Hudson managed to break free of the deadly jaws and managed to make it back to shore.


http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/view/325581/?

There are actually around 5 alligator attacks a day in Florida. Most of them are trivial, but you're lucky to go a week without an article about a gator attack.

A couple of months back there was an article about a police officer being attacked by a 6 foot gator....10 days later the same officer was attacked by another 8 foot gator :lol:

Seems a little Thatcher-esque.

Just like genes make me fat :roll:

It's not my fault I'm poor, its genetic. Gimme money government!

Surely money to be found in a genetic test..

You couldn't make that shit up.

7 Facts You Never Knew About Our Aussie Dollar
Alex Wilson, SavingsGuide.com.au
Updated January 26, 2013, 9:00 am

Money is an intricate part of our daily lives. We touch it, withdraw it, spend it, save it and plan how to get more of it.

Yet regardless of how involved we are with money, there are a few money facts that most of us don't know.

Here are seven conversation starters about Australian money (perfect for your Australia Day BBQ).

1. What ever happened to 1 & 2 cent coins?

While some readers may not even remember the 1 & 2 cent coins, others will recall them with fondness. Made of bronze and ever the pain to carry around, bronze coins were removed from circulation in 1992.

Once collected, the coins were melted down to create the bronze medals awarded in the Sydney Olympics of 2000.

Related: Top 10 Financial Goals and Resolutions for 2013

2. Australia developed the first ever plastic bank note

Due to paper money forever needing to be reprinted due to damage, Australia was the first country to pioneer plastic money. To many countries, having money made of plastic is almost surreal and unimaginable.

The notes in turn now live 4x longer than their paper counterparts. Pair this with the fact they are harder to counterfeit, our polymer invention is the future of printed money. It even withstands the old washing machine, notorious for destroying currency worldwide.

As the notes are made of plastic, people often wonder whether they capable of withstanding the heat of an iron – the answer is yes, though only at a mild temperature. As with any plastic, it definitely has a melting point and is sure fire way to burn through your money (pun intended).

3. We nearly had a currency called ‘royals’

In 1965, Sir Robert Menzies was the Prime Minister and Australia was in the process of switching from the English pound to its own national currency.

Sir Robert Menzies suggested the new currency be called ‘royals’ – further showing his loyalty to the monarch. Eventually the dollar was agreed upon, though not after some other hysterical suggestions including: The Roo, The Digger, The Boomer, The Kanga, The Kwid, The Dinkum and more.

Imagine paying for something in Roo’s?

4. People invest in actual money

The Australian mint often produces 'limited edition' coins and banknotes that are legal tender, like the rare $5 coin. This means the coin may be worth $5 exactly in a retail sense, however due to their scarcity investors actually pay more for the coin itself as a collectors item. This means they may invest $1000 for a note or coin that actually has a legal value far less.

Try and figure that out in your head – you invest $1000 for something legally worth $5 in the hope of making more than $1000. Confusing to say the least.

The 50 cent coin, introduced in 1966 (which used be round) was originally made with 80% silver, but as the value of silver increased the coins' bullion value became more valuable than its face value of 50 cents, and so were withdrawn from circulation in 1969 and replaced with the 12 sided coin we use today.

5. Fake $50 notes have flooded the market

Polymer plastic notes are reputed as impossible to counterfeit. However, some crafty individuals out there have still managed to copy the $50 note making it the most frequently copied note. Police have worked tirelessly to shut down these illegal operations and have since slowed the distribution of the illegitimate notes.

To spot a fake $50 note, the police have noted you should scratch a coin across the see-through windows of the bank note and see if the printed star comes off. If it does, it is fake. The real notes have a star that is unable to be removed as it is within the polymer itself.

Other security measures found on Australian bank notes include; micro printing, raised ink (you can actually feel the texture on the note), fluorescent ink (you will see the number ‘50’ on $20, $50 and $100 notes along with a square shape on $5 notes) and more. You simply need an ultraviolet light to view.

Related: Why savers are losers

6. It's a crime to damage money

The costs of producing our money are funded by the Government and in turn are property of the Government; any intent to willfully deface, disfigure, mutilate or destroy any coin or note is technically punishable by law and carries a fine of up to $10,000 or 2 years in prison (watch out for those of you ironing your money, see above).

7. Money is not that dirty

The bacteria found on bank notes is often believed to be extraordinary – however research conducted at the University of Ballarat indicates that coins and bank notes did indeed contain bacteria, though not on a scale that is seen as overwhelming or deadly. Like anything, germs are present (surprisingly salmonella was high) though still did not pose a concern to the researchers.

http://au.pfinance.yahoo.com/compare/credit-cards/article/-/12653919/7-facts-you-never-knew-about-aussie-money/

I still guarantee that if you put a note in your mouth you'll come down with a cold. But they're cleaner than Casino chips :lol:

Astronomers for first time determine color of a planet outside solar system color _ it’s blue

ESA-Hubble, M. Kornmesser/Associated Press - In this undated illustration provided by the European Space Agency (ESA), an artists impression of one of Earth’s nearest planets outside the solar system named HD 189733B. Astronomers said Friday, July 12, 2013 that for the first time they had gained an understanding of HD 189733B, which is around 63 light years away by discovering the huge gas giant’s blue color. To ascertain the planet’s color the astronomers measured the amount of light reflected of its surface as it eclipsed its host star.

By Associated Press,

LONDON — Astronomers have for the first time managed to determine the color of a planet outside the solar system, a blue gas giant some 63 light years away.

An international team of astronomers working with the Hubble Telescope made the discovery observing HD 189733B, one of Earth’s nearest planets outside the solar system.

Frederic Pont of the University of Exeter in England said Friday that “measuring the planet’s color is a real first — we have never managed it before with a planet outside our own solar system.”

To ascertain the planet’s color the astronomers measured the amount of light reflected of its surface as it eclipsed its host star.

HD 189733B belongs to a class of “hot Jupiters” and has an atmosphere temperature of around 1,000 degrees Celsius (1,832 Fahrenheit).

Copyright 2013 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/astronomers-for-first-time-determine-color-of-a-planet-outside-solar-system-color-_-its-blue/2013/07/12/a702cfdc-eae9-11e2-818e-aa29e855f3ab_story.html?

Home And Away: Britons believe Australia is farther away than the Moon
Friday 12 Jul 2013 11:18 am

It seems our perceptions of distance as Britons are miles away from reality.

One in ten people polled in a survey about our solar system showed themselves to be space cadets by saying the Moon is closer to Britain than Australia.

In fact, it’s 384,000km (238,000 miles) away – the equivalent of 25 one-way trips Down Under.

If you fall into this category and you’re in line for geography exam results this summer, don’t expect miracles.

More worryingly, 25 per cent think it’s possible to get a mobile phone reception to call home while in orbit.

Despite being clueless about space, a tour of the solar system is fast becoming a dream holiday destination for Brits, as 40 per cent would prefer to take off there rather than heading to Spain.

The poll comes from deodorant maker Lynx, as part of its Deep Space promo to send a customer into space.

http://metro.co.uk/2013/07/12/home-and-away-britons-believe-australia-is-farther-away-than-the-moon-3879872/?

Actually, Thatcher was all about offering opportunities to all, irrespective of their socio-economic status. She herself served as a great example of someone from the lower middle class who rose through education and stuck it up the lords in the Tories.

This class predetermination stuff is bs.

4 Coin Flips That Changed History

Rock-paper-scissors aside, flipping a coin has become the ultimate unbiased decision maker. Calling it in the air often settles friendly disputes over who gets the last slice of pizza or whether to go to the movies or bowling on Friday night. In honor of Flip a Coin Day (today!), here are four big decisions that came down to a simple question: Heads or tails?

1. A COIN TOSS NAMED PORTLAND, OREGON

The two New England natives who founded Portland—called The Clearing at the time—both vied for the bragging rights of naming the 640-acre locale after their respective hometowns. Pioneers Asa Lovejoy (of Boston) and Francis Pettygrove (hailing from Portland, Maine) split the site’s land claim, and settled the decision on a coin toss.

Pettygrove won the best two-out-of-three coin toss in the parlor of the Francis Ermatinger House in Oregon City and the rest is history. Portland was incorporated in 1849, and the copper one-cent piece, minted in 1835 and now dubbed the Portland Penny, is on display at the Oregon Historical Society Museum.

2. A COIN TOSS DECIDED THE FIRST FLIGHT

Wilbur Wright won the chance to make history when he won a coin toss against brother Orville in their camp at Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, in 1903. Wilbur bested his brother in the coin toss for the first crack at flying on December 14, but in a twist of fate, Wilbur stalled the flyer in his first attempt, diving the flyer into the sand.

Three days later, after repairs, Orville was the first to get the contraption airborne at 10:30 on December 17, 1903. Wilbur, who won the coin toss fair and square, was immortalized in a photograph showing him running alongside the plane, very much grounded.

3. A COIN TOSS SEALED RITCHIE VALENS’ FATE

The blockbuster Winter Dance Party Tour (headliners: rock trailblazers Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J.P. “The Big Bopper” Richardson) stopped at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa, a day before the music died. Holly chartered a plane for the tour’s next stop in Moorhead, Minnesota, after his tour bus was plagued with mechanical snafus. Richardson, suffering from the flu, convinced Holly band member Waylon Jennings to give up his seat, freeing up one more spot on the flight.

Tommy Allsup, a guitarist in Holly’s band, flipped a coin with Valens for the last seat, and lost the spot to the young Latin star. On February 3, 1959, the flight crashed into a cornfield after a one-two punch of piloting mistakes and poor weather conditions on a day Don McLean would remember as The Day the Music Died.

4. A COIN TOSS DECIDED SECRETARIAT’S OWNER

The real story behind Secretariat starts in 1969, four years before the horse galloped its way to the Triple Crown. Penny Chenery of Meadow Stable and Ogden Phipps of Wheatley Stable flipped a coin for first pick of two foals sired by prominent racehorse Bold Ruler. Phipps won and picked a filly born from Bold Ruler and a mare named Hasty Matelda.

That left Chenery with the yet-unborn foal of Bold Ruler and Something Royal—a colt that would be named Secretariat at two years old, win the Triple Crown at three, and have a heart nearly four times the size of a normal horse. Secretariat’s performance at the Belmont Stakes ranks second on a list of the top 100 greatest individual sports performances ever, with only Wilt Chamberlain hitting the century mark surpassing it.



Read the full text here: http://mentalfloss.com/article/50832/4-coin-flips-changed-history#ixzz2Yu1AD2g2
--brought to you by mental_floss!

Kosher lube puts oral sex on the menu for Orthodox Jews

Rabbis have certified a range of lubricants as kosher. Is this the first rabbinically approved innovation to help oral sex?

Wet's kosher lubricants have been approved by the Rabbinical Council of California

Rabbis have rarely generated so much excitement. At least not in the bedroom. For the first time, Orthodox Jews can buy sexual lubricants that have been declared kosher.

The US-made Wet range of lubes now has eight lines that have been given a religious stamp of approval, including its "Ecstasy" product. This means that rabbis from the Rabbinical Council of California have inspected Wet's 52,000 sq ft production plant and researched the origins of every ingredient to check none comes from items prohibited by kosher rules.

As with many great innovations, the lubricant resulted from personal motivation. Sean Smith, president of Trigg Laboratories, which produces Wet, converted to Judaism after marrying a Jewish-Israeli woman.

But what's the need for a kosher lubricant? Orthodox Jews spread all sorts of cosmetics over their bodies without checking they are kosher. From soaps to exfoliators, moisturisers to medical ointments, observant Jews can use whatever is sold on the mainstream market without checking its origins. Kosher laws don't apply to products for external use. In fact, according to guidelines by the respected kashrut certifier Star-K: "one may even apply non-kosher ingredients to one's lips, eg lipstick, lip balm."

The bottom line is that kosher certification is only relevant to Jews who swallow a product. Really, it's only necessary for the God-fearing who intentionally swallow it – but some strict observers go further and buy kosher products if there is a risk of accidentally swallowing them.

So although Orthodox Jews haven't been waiting for the rabbinic nod before using lubes, they have been limited in what they could do with them.

For hundreds of years the Jewish religious establishment has been divided on whether oral sex is allowed as part of a bedroom repertoire; it's still pretty taboo for public discourse – and the rabbis who have approved the lubes haven't spelled out whom their certification will benefit. But among Orthodox Jews the significance is clear – 14 years after Rabbi Shmuley Boteach struck a blow for openness by publishing his hit book Kosher Sex this is the first rabbinic innovation to help kosher oral sex. In eight flavours.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2013/jul/17/kosher-lube-oral-sex-jews-lubricant?

lol religion

Banned driver found attempting to control a car with no steering-wheel with PLIERS

A 38-year-old man had clamped locking pliers around the car's steering column because it had no wheel

The vehicle also had two blown-out tyres and was being driven erratically

Adelaide police charged him with a string of offences, including driving while disqualified, uninsured and while under the influence of drugs

By DAILY MAIL REPORTER

PUBLISHED: 10:29 GMT, 23 July 2013 | UPDATED: 10:44 GMT, 23 July 2013


Police were stunned when they pulled over an erratic motorist to find he was steering his damaged car - with a pair of workshop PLIERS.

The 38-year-old was driving with two blown-out tyres when he was stopped by cops during rush hour on Monday morning.

Amazingly, his car did not have a steering wheel and he was attempting to control the vehicle using a vice grip.

Pliers were clamped around the steering column and he was using them to steer the vehicle, turning the shaft with the pliers

The driver was arrested and charged with a long list of offences including driving while disqualified and under the influence of methyl amphetamine and cannabis.

He was also charged with driving without due care, driving in a dangerous manner, driving while unregistered, uninsured and contrary to defect and breaching his bail conditions.

Police in Adelaide, Southern Australia, believe he was involved in an earlier hit-and-run incident and he was further charged with failing to stop at the scene of a crash.

A statement from South Australia Police said: 'While this is an extreme example, police wish to remind all motorists they have a responsibility to drive with due care at all times.

'Operation Distraction, a state-wide focus on driver behaviour, in particular the use of mobile phones while driving and failing to wear seatbelts, continues to run throughout the month of July and more than 1,700 offences have been detected.'

The man appeared in court today and was remanded in custody.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2374962/Banned-driver-attempting-control-car-steering-wheel-PLIERS.html

On the plus side, it seems to explode the theory that nice Jewish girls don't swallow.

Blond with two vaginas offered porn movie role

Staff Reporter | 23 January, 2012 14:53

A UK woman who has two vaginas has apparently been offered R12 million to star in a porn movie, according to media reports.

According to the UK Daily Mail Hazel Jones always wondered why she suffered from terrible cramps and heavy periods during puberty. But it wasn't until she turned 18 that she was given her astonishing diagnosis - she had two vaginas.

The 27-year-old blond from High Wycombe has the million-in-one condition uterus didelphys, which means she has two separate uteruses and cervixes as well.

http://www.timeslive.co.za/world/2012/01/23/blond-with-two-vaginas-offered-porn-movie-role

Dog eats paralysed man's testicle while he sleeps

by: STAFF WRITERS
From:
news.com.au
August 01, 2013 12:30PM

Dogs. They look innocent. Don't be fooled.

THIS story's a real balltearer.

A 39-year-old US man, who is paralysed from the waist down, recently adopted a "small, white, fluffy" stray dog to be his loving companion.

The new relationship went swimmingly for about three weeks, until the dog chewed off one of his new owner's testicles.

Said owner awoke at 7:45am on Monday morning to a "burning pain" in his midsection, reports KAIT8.com.

Looking down, he noticed that "the dog had eaten one of his testicles". The dog was still between his legs with blood on its muzzle and teeth.

Luckily, as the man told police, he has no feeling whatsoever from the waist down. Hey, you have to find the silver lining in these situations.

Police had the dog euthanised at a local vet, and its head was sent to the Arkansas Department of Health to be tested for rabies. Yes, just its head, because the day's events weren't gruesome enough already.

The man didn't know whether the dog had been vaccinated.

He was taken to the aptly named St Bernard's Regional Medical Centre for treatment.



Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/home-garden/dog-eats-paralysed-man8217s-testicle-while-he-sleeps/story-fngwib2y-1226689510173#ixzz2arOxZNJB