Feeling healthier already

She looks nasty as fuck too.

Wouldn't be out of place dressed in uggs and trackies on the Packenham line.

Also, at 20 minutes each she'd have to be fucking 12 hours a day, every day for 7 years.

Edited by afromanGT: 30/8/2013 07:18:16 PM

Worst part is, she has a boyfriend who's apparently totally ok with it all. Talk about a fucking Beta.

To be one of the 100,000. He is the 0.001%

...and maybe a book deal.

Randy couple arrested after getting caught having SEX in garden centre shed

30 Aug 2013 13:59
Cops caught Emily Craig and Shaun Bowden struggling to pull their clothes on after concerned members of the public phoned 911

A couple have been arrested for shacking up in a shed.

The South Carolina couple were caught having sex in a display shed at home improvement store and garden centre Home Depot.

Emily Craig, 20 and Shaun Bowden, 31, were arrested while still struggling to pull their clothes on after concerned members of the public phoned 911.

A police spokesman said that officers were dispatched "in reference to a male and female entering a display shed on the property, closing the door behind themselves and remaining inside."

When police arrived to the outdoor display shed they noted that Craig was "partially clothed: the top of her dress was untied, hanging at her waist."

Bowden had no shirt on and "had his pants down near his knees". He was also found to have his penis exposed.

The couple were arrested for disorderly conduct and Bowden was also given an indecent exposure count for, "having his genitals within public view".

Craig also was charged with providing false information, after the name and birthday she gave to officers didn’t match the identification found in her purse.

The report also states that "upon questioning, it became apparent that they were engaged in sexual intercourse within the shed."

The couple were placed into a county jail and have not yet had their bond set.

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A few of the posts in here have been awfully raunchy lately :lol:

Ania, here in broadminded Australia rooting 100K blokes still makes you a whore.

32 men per week at age 81:oops:

Well no shit...

the couple caught having sex in the garden centre have reportedly been spade and neutered.

Aussies apply for Mars reality show

September 1, 2013, 7:01 amAAP

Thousands of wannabe Martians from Australia have put their hand up for the biggest relocation of a lifetime - from Earth to the Red Planet.

More than 2,500 Australians have applied for the one-way trip to Mars, which will double as a reality TV show.

The Mars One project, which aims to create the first human settlement on the Solar System's second-smallest planet, has received 165,000 applications from astronaut hopefuls from 140 different countries.

"We now have a large group of applicants from where we can start our search," Mars One chief medical officer Dr Norbert Kraft said.

"Finding the best crews of qualified and compatible individuals is crucial to the success of our mission."

Successful applicants will have to say goodbye to Earth forever, with the first crew of four people expected to launch into space for their seven months journey to Mars in 2022.

"While sustaining human life on Mars is not trivial, it is far easier and safer than bringing the crew back to Earth," Mars One says.

The organisers have the support of project ambassador and Big Brother inventor Paul Romer and are hoping to broadcast the process as a worldwide media event.

The audience will vote for which teams they want on Mars first.

Mars One says broadcasting rights and sponsorship will predominantly fund the $6 billion project, which will start training successful applicants in 2015.

Applications closed on August 31, but if you missed out this time, don't despair - Mars One will send a new group of four to the planet every two years.

Despite the expense, risks and obvious challenges, the project boasts a long list of credentialled advisers and ambassadors, including Nobel Prize winners, astronauts, scientists, NASA engineers and media and television entrepreneurs.

More than 500 New Zealanders have also applied to be one of the first humans to live on Mars.

http://nz.entertainment.yahoo.com/news/article/-/18740055/aussies-apply-for-mars-reality-show/?

Bit early for April Fools.

The thousands of words we don't know

We can let them go, like passersby, and we're none the worse because of it. But if we're active, learning never ends

Gary Soto

I use the public library, almost weekly, and stash my haul on my hallway bookshelf. At the moment, on this shelf are several histories, a gardening book and Ian McEwan's The Child in Time, a novel about the abduction of a 5-year-old girl and the unraveling of her parents' marriage – guilt, anger, grief, loneliness. I'm a quarter way through the novel, but I may return it to the library unfinished. Words are underlined in pencil by one of the previous readers who, I suspect, was trying to improve her vocabulary – "deciduous", "reptilian", "affability", "provenance", "slow-loris", "averse".

The underlined words halted my progress and not because of their annoyance. As I'm a poet, thus invariably searching for the right words, I began to consider these pencil strikes. I couldn't help but wonder about the previous reader, "the culprit", let's say. She was female, possibly my age (early 60s), and reflective about the years lost on a no-good husband. Like the dainty pencil marks, she was understated in every way – touch, voice, makeup and clothes. I began to imagine her as reader of admirably crafted contemporary fiction (published in 1987, I still consider this novel "contemporary"). I saw her as a nurse attracted to the novel because of its theme – child gone, child gone. I instantly corrected my assumption and imagined a psychologist – no, that was wrong, too. A psychologist would have known most of the underlined words, as would have the nurse, a bookworm forever on her way to the morning shift by bus?

Who was she?

I assigned her bits of a life story. A widow, she read the novel late at night, with cotton balls in her ears against the noisy neighbor above. A moth batted around the lamp and a cat the color of smoke slept at her feet. No, I corrected this image: she was a recently engaged office worker on her lunch hour in a park with graffiti-marked trees. A duck with a ring around its neck was eyeballing her from three feet away. Did she have anything to give it? No, I was hasty: she was a florist in rubber boots, her breath before her in the cold. She had a surplus of roses in tall buckets to sell by noon.

Conjecture, all of it, for only this I know: a reader had underlined words. In doing so, she perhaps embraced a view that learning doesn't end. She may have been a mail carrier padding about in corrective shoes (this is how I saw her by page 180), but she was not about to give up on her head, now capped with grayish hair.
There are thousands of words we don't know, long or short, soft or clunky, in print or heard in conversation. We can just let them go, like passersby, and we're none the worse because of it. But if we're active, we give new words a try on our own. Who is this person who looks like a dogmatic priest? What sort of fluctuating shopper is she? Where did they get that dubious car? These adjectives may not fit the nouns, but they are attempts. Why don't we forge the refrigerator? Close but not quite right.

In a recent novel, I paused at this sentence: "'she's fly', said Mathew to his best friend, Ronald." "Fly?" I mouthed, quietly confused. Was this a typo? Did the author mean to say, "she's flying"? That wasn't probable because the scenes in the novel were grounded – nothing about planes, terminals and such. I didn't grasp the meaning until I asked a young man, in a bowtie, who said that "fly" meant lovely or pretty or hot. The young man, touching his bowtie, also informed me that the word was out of date.

Oh.

I may finish McEwan's novel – it's very good. But as my eyes rove over the prose, I think of the previous reader as a subplot – nurse, psychologist, florist, mail carrier, a sleuth with a pencil poised. With affability, she turned the reptilian page and, through reading glasses thick as mine, made little aversive checkmarks on her dubious self-improvement. Her cat and a stuffed slow loris watched with provenance from the end of a very comfy and deciduous bed.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/07/gary-soto-learning-new-words?

American golf course sparks anger after offering '9 holes for $9.11' to commemorate September 11 terrorist attacks

11 Sep 2013 08:47
Tumbledown Trails Golf Course in Wisconsin apologised for any offence it caused with its promotional offer

The owner of an American golf course says he received death threats after advertising nine holes of golf for $9.11 in a promotional offer to mark the 12th anniversary of the September 11 terrorist attacks.

Tumbledown Trails Golf Course in Wisconsin placed an advert in the Wisconsin State Journal on Monday, saying the offer was valid for today only and also included 18 holes for $19.11.

But after the promotion was picked up on social media sites the golf course's Facebook page was inundated with complaints, and Tumbledown Trails general manager Marc Watts said he had received death threats and threats to burn down his golf course.

In an apology on the Tumbledown Trails Golf Course Facebook page - which now appears to have been taken down - he said: "We would first like to apologise to everyone that we have upset or feels we have disrespected in any way. By no means did we mean to do this."

Mr Watts added that anyone who had booked a tee-off using the promotion would be able to play for the advertised rate but for all other golf played today, he said the course would donate the difference between their normal rate and the promotional rate to the 9/11 Memorial.

He added: "We hope that everyone will now see this as a positive as we really meant it to be. Again we do sincerely apologise for offending anyone and hope that you do accept our sincere apology."

Sky News said Mr Watts had considered closing the family-run golf course because of the violent threats he'd received, but decided not to after the sheriff's department sent an officer to the course.

He said he had run the promotion for two years and it had never received a bad reception before, but believed anger was stirred this time after it was spotted online.

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That explains a lot :lol::lol:

Tacky as hell. But it does remind of the great line from "Catch-22" - "what's good for business is good for America".

Drunk dad banned from going out after simulating sex with Land Rover

NEWS LIMITED NETWORK SEPTEMBER 12, 2013 4:33AM

A FATHER who was caught having sex with a Land Rover while on a night out has been banned from going out at the weekend.

A court heard how drunken Daniel Cooper, 24, stripped off while out with friends.

The father of three was seen urinating in the street before walking down the High Street in Holywell, Wales, with his trousers round his ankles and his t-shirt pulled above his head, British media report.

He then shocked fellow revellers by walking into a kebab shop and simulating sex with the counter of the takeaway.

Married Cooper, described as being a 'caring family man", then dropped to the floor and began doing the same.

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He then left the shop and gyrated against a Land Rover Discovery that was parked nearby

Cooper says he was so drunk he could not remember what happened - until he was shown the CCTV pictures of his actions.

He pleaded guilty and was placed on a three-month community order and must remain indoors between 7pm and 7am on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights for the next three months.

His sex act with the counter of the kebab shop was filmed by some of Cooper's friends but was later deleted, The Telegraph reports.

One of his pals said: "Daniel will never live this down – everyone is saying he was 'tyred' and 'exhausted' afterwards.

"He is not a pretty sight when naked. We all felt sorry for the Land Rover and hope it wasn't offended."

http://www.perthnow.com.au/news/world/drunk-dad-banned-from-going-out-after-simulating-sex-with-land-rover/story-fnhrvhol-1226717324044

24 y/o father of 3? Should've stopped right there.

Long-named US woman celebrates government climb-down

Ms Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele's maiden name was Worth
A US woman has won a battle to have her full name put on her driving licence.

Janice "Lokelani" Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele's name is so long - containing 36 letters and 19 syllables - that it would not fit on the documentation.

But she says her grievance has now been redressed.

Hawaii government computer systems are to be upgraded by the end of the year, allowing her to have her full name on her driving licence and ID card.


"No-one ever gets away with chopping my name without hearing about it"
At present her documentation only has a truncated version of her name, because the computer system in Hawaii cannot handle more than 35 characters.

Ms Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele - whose maiden name was the more compact Worth - said that she began the campaign to get her full name on government documentation because she was shocked at the way police treated her after stopping her car.

"The policeman looked at my licence and saw I had no first name. I told him it is not my fault that my licence and state ID are not correct and I am trying to get it corrected," she said.

"He then told me 'Well, you can always change your name back to your maiden name.' This hurt my heart."

Continue reading the main story
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Over the last 22 years I have seen... the culture of Hawaii being trampled upon and this policeman treated my name as if it was mumbo-jumbo”

Janice Keihanaikukauakahihuli-heekahaunaele
"Over the last 22 years I have seen... the culture of Hawaii being trampled upon and this policeman treated my name as if it was mumbo-jumbo."

Ms Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele said that the officer's attitude upset her because he was being "disrespectful of the Hawaiian people".

After she brought her concerns to the governor's department, they announced that a license and an ID card which allows her full name on it will be produced by the end of 2013.

A spokeswoman for Hawaii's transport department, Caroline Sluyter, said computer systems across the state were being upgraded to accommodate longer names.

"We have been made aware of that issue, and I know right now they are working to extend that limit to - I believe - 40 characters so that issue can be resolved," she said.

Ms Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele - who got her name after marrying in 1992 - said that her name had many layers of meanings including "one who would stand up and get people to focus in one direction when there was chaos and confusion, and help them emerge from disorder".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-24097775?

Just wondering...what have the rest of her family done about their long name?

They've been selling vowels on the blackmarket....there is good money for second hand vowels.

They could probably sell some consonants to Ouagadougou.

:d :d
Poles have loads of consonants for sale... In the market for vowels.

20 SEP 2013 - 7:44PM
Fulham to remove Michael Jackson statue

LONDON (Reuters) - A controversial statue of the late pop star Michael Jackson will be removed from outside Fulham's Craven Cottage ground after fans complained it made the Premier League club look like a laughing stock.
Source Reuters

The statue was erected behind the Hammersmith stand by former owner Mohamed Al Fayed in 2011, two years after the singer's death at the age of 50 from an overdose of a surgical anaesthetic and other sedatives.

"Craven Cottage means the world to generations of Fulham supporters, and I have heard from many of them over the past two months," said chairman Shahid Khan, who took over the club in July, in a statement on Friday.

"Our supporters' views on the statue have been made clear. I respect Mr Al Fayed and know he had good intentions in paying an individual tribute. However, the removal of the statue is the right thing for Fulham Football Club."

Jackson was a friend of Al Fayed's, who invited him to attend a game at Craven Cottage in 1999.

The statue of the singer, clutching a microphone and pointing with a gloved hand, is one of two outside the ground - the other being of the revered Johnny Haynes, who played more than 650 times for the club over 18 seasons.

Some fans complained that the Jackson statue had nothing to do with football and made the club look ridiculous but Egyptian businessman Al Fayed dismissed their objections at the time in typically blunt fashion.

"If some stupid fans don't understand and appreciate such a gift this guy gave to the world they can go to hell," he was quoted as saying. "I don't want them to be fans."

(Reporting by Alan Baldwin, editing by Amlan Chakraborty)

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2013/09/20/fulham-remove-michael-jackson-statue?

Victoria the most expensive place to retire

September 20, 2013 - 6:33PM

Retiring in Victoria is more expensive than anywhere else in Australia because of higher electricity prices, new figures show.

Living a comfortable Australian retirement costs an average $56,406 a year for a couple, figures from the Association of Superannuation Funds of Australia (ASFA) show.

Victoria is the most expensive place to retire, whether you're a frugal or lavish single, or part of a couple on a modest income.

ASFA director of research Ross Clare said higher electricity costs were to blame.

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"There have been significant price increases for energy ... so that feeds into the budgets," he said.

"Indications are that some of the other states and territories, they will have bigger increases in the future in energy prices so there will be a bit of evening out."

Frugal Victorian couples pay $473 more to cover annual household, clothing and transport bills than the national average of $32,656.

A comfortable senior life in Victoria costs an extra $482.

Queensland is Australia's cheapest place to retire for lavish couples, who pay $242 a year less to live than the national average.

The Northern Territory was the cheapest place to retire for modest couples and comfortable singles, but the ACT was the cheapest place for modest singles.



Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/victoria-the-most-expensive-place-to-retire-20130920-2u57w.html#ixzz2fRMtOh00

Well that's a real kick in the keester....

Guide dog saves baby's life by pushing pram away from out-of-control car

21 Sep 2013 00:00
Brave black labrador Jet is lavished with praise after springing into action to save her registered blind owner's one-year-old son


A guide dog saved the life of a baby by shoving the little boy’s pram out of the way of an out-of-control car.

Black labrador Jet sprung into action when her owner Jessica Cowley was crossing the entrance to a car park with her one-year-old, Jacob in his buggy.

A car coming out of the car park was shunted from behind and knocked Jessica over.

But clever Jet immediately pushed Jacob’s pram out of the way.

Jessica, 26, who is registered blind as she has tunnel vision, said: “What she did was extremely brave and I am very proud of her.”

Jacob escaped with just a cut lip.

Recalling the incident Jessica, married to IT analyst James, 26, said: “Just after we stepped off the kerb I heard a screeching of a car and it banged into me sending me flying.

"Just before it hit me Jet pulled her harness out of my hand and actually pushed the pram out of the way.

"The pram toppled over but Jacob was out of danger.

“She reacted really quickly. Jet was worried about me but once she had licked my face and checked I was conscious, she was fine.”

The incident happened outside the surgery of vet Caroline Purnell, in Leigh, Greater Manchester, who rushed to help.

She said: “It demonstrates exactly how important these dogs are. Jet showed no concern for her own safety.”

Jessica, who was taken to hospital with extensive bruising but is recovering at home in Leigh, added: “Jet is trained to help me but she’s not trained to do that sort of thing.

“It doesn’t bear thinking about what might have happened if she hadn’t have done what she did.”



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...my dog doesn't have a nose...

Maybe you should grow one on his forehead?