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u4486662
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Sorry, but I had to post this tremendously hilarious overt piece of propaganda. Its just too beautiful. lol http://www.news.com.au/sport/football/footballs-weekend-of-disgrace/story-fndkzvnd-1227322725848
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jlm8695
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You're not wrong, forgot that thread existed.
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jlm8695
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Group: Banned Members
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http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2014/11/24/boy-fake-gun-dies-after-being-shotQuote:A 12-year-old boy in the US city of Cleveland, shot by police after apparently grabbing what turned out to be a replica gun has died from his wounds.
Deputy Chief Ed Tomba said one officer fired twice after the boy pulled the fake weapon from his waistband but had not pointed it at police.
The boy did not make any verbal threats but grabbed the replica handgun after being told to raise his hands, Tomba said.
"That's when the officer fired," he said.
The Cuyahoga County Medical Examiner identified the boy as Tamir Rice. A lawyer for his family, Timothy Kucharski, said the boy went to the park with friends on Saturday afternoon, but he did not know the details of what led to the shooting.
Police said the weapon was an "airsoft" type replica gun that resembled a semi-automatic handgun. The orange safety indicator had been removed, police said.
A man who called police told emergency dispatchers before police arrived that the boy was on a swing set and pointing a pistol that was "probably fake" and scaring everyone.
The caller said the boy was pulling the gun in and out of his pants. "I don't know if it's real or not," the caller said.
Jeff Follmer, president of the Cleveland Police Patrolmen's Association, said the officers were not told the caller thought the gun might be fake. What was the boy thinking? So stupid.
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thupercoach
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Heineken wrote:Teenagers ‘fell from balcony of London apartment block while having sex’ Quote:TWO teenagers have plunged to their death while allegedly having sex on a balcony at a luxury London apartment block.
The students, named as Anastasia Tutik, 19, from Russia, and “Miguel”, 18, from Mexico, died instantly after falling from the sixth floor of a flat on the banks of the River Thames.
The international students had just met at a party where they were celebrating their end-of-year exams, the Mirror reports.
The horrific tragedy was witnessed by Samson Oguntayo, 32, and his partner Blessing, who live in the block opposite the luxury complex in Deptford, East London.
“They were trying to have sex on the balcony. The guy was lifting the girl and putting her on the banister, he kept on doing it,” Mr Oguntayo said.
“He was putting her on there — they were going back and forth. You could see they were doing some really dangerous stuff.
Horrific end ... the pair fell from the balcony of an apartment in the luxury Knights Tow
Horrific end ... the pair fell from the balcony of an apartment in the luxury Knights Tower complex on the River Thames. Source: Supplied
“It is not the first time we have seen people on the balcony acting up.
“At some point friends must have come outside and they got down and came back inside and then came back out again. This time they started doing it again.
“You see people on the balcony doing all sorts of things and I just felt it was one of those things and in a moment they will probably go back inside.
‘The last thing I expected was to see them falling down. We just screamed.”
Mr Oguntayo ran to the scene and discovered both teens lying dead in a pool of blood.
Ms Tutik was a student at Bellerbys College, a private further education college which charges up to $40,000 a year.
Her devastated parents are reportedly on their way to London from Russia.
Scotland Yard said they were treating the deaths as a tragic accident. http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/world/teenagers-fell-from-balcony-of-london-apartment-block-while-having-sex/story-fni0xs63-1226951597251Going out with a bang. Have sex on a balcony railing, there's the root of the problem right there. Life on the edge.
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Heineken
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Teenagers ‘fell from balcony of London apartment block while having sex’ Quote:TWO teenagers have plunged to their death while allegedly having sex on a balcony at a luxury London apartment block.
The students, named as Anastasia Tutik, 19, from Russia, and “Miguel”, 18, from Mexico, died instantly after falling from the sixth floor of a flat on the banks of the River Thames.
The international students had just met at a party where they were celebrating their end-of-year exams, the Mirror reports.
The horrific tragedy was witnessed by Samson Oguntayo, 32, and his partner Blessing, who live in the block opposite the luxury complex in Deptford, East London.
“They were trying to have sex on the balcony. The guy was lifting the girl and putting her on the banister, he kept on doing it,” Mr Oguntayo said.
“He was putting her on there — they were going back and forth. You could see they were doing some really dangerous stuff.
Horrific end ... the pair fell from the balcony of an apartment in the luxury Knights Tow
Horrific end ... the pair fell from the balcony of an apartment in the luxury Knights Tower complex on the River Thames. Source: Supplied
“It is not the first time we have seen people on the balcony acting up.
“At some point friends must have come outside and they got down and came back inside and then came back out again. This time they started doing it again.
“You see people on the balcony doing all sorts of things and I just felt it was one of those things and in a moment they will probably go back inside.
‘The last thing I expected was to see them falling down. We just screamed.”
Mr Oguntayo ran to the scene and discovered both teens lying dead in a pool of blood.
Ms Tutik was a student at Bellerbys College, a private further education college which charges up to $40,000 a year.
Her devastated parents are reportedly on their way to London from Russia.
Scotland Yard said they were treating the deaths as a tragic accident. http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/world/teenagers-fell-from-balcony-of-london-apartment-block-while-having-sex/story-fni0xs63-1226951597251Going out with a bang. Have sex on a balcony railing, there's the root of the problem right there.
WOLLONGONG WOLVES FOR A-LEAGUE EXPANSION!
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Joffa
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School coversation sparked incest raid ninemsn staff 5:34am June 12, 2014 "My sister is pregnant and we don't know which of my brothers is the father." This comment from one pupil to another at a southern NSW high school was overheard by a teacher and passed on to authorities, triggering a raid on a family farm that uncovered one of Australia's most disturbing cases of incest and sexual abuse. The detail was revealed yesterday in Sydney's Parramatta Local Court as two members of the extended family living on the farm were ordered to have DNA tests, the Daily Telegraph reports. The isolated farm was raided in mid-2012 by police and child protection workers, who found a group of 38 adults and children living in filthy caravans and tin sheds without electricity, running water or any plumbing. They were the result of four generations from grandparents who were brother and sister. Twelve children ranging in age from five to 16 were removed from the farm. Police continue to investigate the family, known by the pseudonym Colt, for charges of rape and sexual assaults. The court was told that 29-year-old Tammy Colt, a pseudonym for the sister referenced in the school conversation, gave birth to a baby who died within two months from a fatal genetic disorder known as Zellweger Syndrome, the Telegraph reports. Genetic tests confirmed the disease existed as a result of incest. The father was not named on the birth certificate but Tammy reportedly has since told counsellors she had been having a relationship with a younger brother for three years. Sally's mother Betty Colt appeared yesterday in Moss Vale Local Court where her case was adjourned until August 18. Source: Daily Telegraph Read more at http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/2014/06/12/05/34/school-conversation-sparked-incest-raid#8lF59E6X8uvJOCzV.99
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Joffa
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Antique book is bound in human skin, Harvard University confirms Harvard University scientists have confirmed a 19th Century French treatise in its libraries is bound in human skin. Arsene Houssaye's Des destinees de l'ame (On the destiny of the soul) is part of the antique book collection of the university's Houghton Library, which specialises in rare and antique works. Harvard conservators and scientists used several methods to test the origin of the book binding material, using microscopic samples. Through these tests, they were able to exclude the possibility that the book cover was made from the skin of a goat, a sheep or another animal. "They are 99 per cent confident that the binding is of human origin," said a post on the library's blog, citing senior rare book conservator Alan Puglia. The conclusions confirm the veracity of a handwritten note in French found in the book, which said the book was bound "in human skin parchment". "By looking carefully, you easily distinguish the pores of the skin," added the note, written by a doctor who was a friend of Houssaye, who lived 1815-1896. "A book about the human soul deserved to have a human covering," explained the doctor, Ludovic Bouland. Dr Bouland said the skin was taken from the back of a woman who suffered from mental illness and had died of a heart attack. The doctor said he had another book bound in human skin in his personal collection that was tanned with sumac. Harvard said Des destinees de l'ame was the only book in its collection bound in human flesh. However, the practice, called anthropodermic bibliopegy, was once somewhat common, the university said. "There are many accounts of similar occurrences in the 19th Century, in which the bodies of executed criminals were donated to science, and the skins given to tanners and bookbinders," the library's blog entry said. Two other books thought to be bound in human skin, from Harvard's law library and its medical library, were also analysed, but the tests revealed the binding was sheepskin. AFP http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-06-07/harvard-confirms-antique-book-is-bound-in-human-skin/5507866
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afromanGT
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News.com.au wrote:Worker wears gorilla suit and is shot with tranquilliser dart at Loro Parque Zoo
JUNE 06, 2014 12:32AM
A VET has shot a tranquilliser dart into a zoo employee dressed as a gorilla in a case of mistaken identity.
The 35-year-old zoo worker was shot on Monday at Tenerife’s Loro Parque Zoo.
Staff at the zoo were performing an emergency drill to practice procedures in the event of an escape when the incident occurred. The vet had not been told the exercise was taking place and shot the man with tranquilliser sufficient to down a 180kg gorilla. The worker suffered an allergic reaction to the narcotic and was taken to hospital, Spanish language newspaper La Opinion de Tenerife reports .
Zoo staff told MailOnline an alarm was set off as part of the simulation, and “one keeper in the wild mammals team was accidentally struck by the medical tranquilliser that vets use in these instances.”
They added that the worker has “recovered and is now in good health”.
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Joffa
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Seven people die trying to get 75 cents from well in Banteay Srey Cambodia Ian Horswill • News Corp Australia • June 02, 2014 1:51PM SEVEN people have died in a five-metre deep well after a man attempted to retrieve the equivalent of 75 cents he accidentally dropped into it. Tuy Chin, 50, had gone to collect water from the well in the Romchek commune in Banteau Srei district, Siem Reap province in Cambodia and saw his cigarette lighter and 3,000 riel (about 75 cents) fall to the well’s bottom. JANE UPTON: What life in Cambodia is really like HEROIN SMUGGER: Australian woman jailed for 27 years Chin decided to go into the well to retrieve his belongings. “He put the ladder into the well and climbed down to get his lighter. But he could not find the money so he climbed back out without removing the ladder,” Captain Muy Norn, acting police chief of Banteay Srei district, told The Phnom Penh Post. When he got home, Chin told his teenage daughter that he had lost the money in the well, not thinking that his children would try to retrieve it. But later that day, Chin’s 11-year-old son climbed down into the well and died due to the low level of oxygen in the concrete well. His 13-year-old sister then climbed down to find her brother but also died at the bottom. A 15-year-old sister then followed and she also perished. When Chin’s neighbours heard what had happened they also climbed down to try and help. Four neighbours died and a fifth person is in a serious condition in hospital. According to scientists when oxygen levels fall to between four and six per cent, humans lapse into a coma within 40 seconds, followed by convulsions before respiration ceases. Oxygen levels above ground are normally about 21 per cent. “The health officials said that the well has less oxygen in the evening, which is what caused those seven people to die. But it has more oxygen in the morning, and that’s why the children’s father was fine when he went down,” Captain Norn said. Che Chhan, 30, a sister of the three siblings who died in the well, blamed her family’s poverty for the tragedy. “My 11-year-old brother knew that my father had lost 3,000 riel in the well and he wanted to get it back, without thinking it would be dangerous. And now so many people have died like this. “I wanted to blame my father, because if he did not tell them about the money, they would not have died. But it’s over now. They would not come back if I blamed my father … but the villagers blame my father and say he was careless.” The Chin family — they had 13 siblings before the tragedy on Saturday night — will destroy the well, she said. The seven dead have been named as Che Oun, 11; Che Chea, 13; Chea Ratana, 15; Hay Chandy, 12; Hay Sangda, 22; Peat Poung, 35; and Toy Team, 27. http://www.townsvillebulletin.com.au/news/world/seven-people-die-trying-to-get-75-cents-from-well-in-banteay-srey-cambodia/story-fnjbobeg-1226940159375
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afromanGT
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BBC wrote:Japan police probe body sent by mail
Japanese murder detectives are investigating the case of a young woman whose corpse was posted across Japan.
The body of Rika Okada, 29, was discovered in a 2-metre box labelled "doll" in a storage locker in Hachioji city, west of Tokyo.
The company that ferried the package from Osaka to Tokyo said that the order was paid in Ms Okada's name.
Ms Okada had been missing since late March. The bill for the locker's rental was also settled using her credit card.
Shortly before her disappearance, she had written on her Facebook page that she was going to meet an old friend whom she had not seen for many years.
Investigators discovered more than a dozen stab wounds on her body but did not find defensive injuries on her arms, local media reported.
Police in Osaka have refused to confirm reports that a woman using Ms Okada's passport left Japan earlier this month in the company of a Chinese woman heading for Shanghai, said the BBC's Rupert Wingfield-Hayes in Tokyo.
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Joffa
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Quote:Dead passengers on British Airways flights disguised using 'sunglasses and a vodka tonic', documentary reveals May 31, 2014 20:00 By Janine Yaqoob Bizarre techniques that cabin crew have used for dealing with people who die in-flight revealed in a BBC documentary Sitting comfortably: The bizarre techniques are revealed in a BBC documentary Ever wondered why the plane passenger next to you, hiding behind sunglasses and nursing a vodka tonic, wasn’t very chatty? It could be because they were DEAD. The bizarre techniques that cabin crew have used for dealing with people who die in-flight are revealed in a BBC documentary about British Airways, reports the Sunday People. A woman trainer tells a roomful of recruits: “Many years ago we used to give them a vodka and tonic, a Daily Mail and eye shades and tell passengers they were fine. “We don’t do that any more. Now you would cover them in a blanket up to their neck.” Under no circumstances should they put corpses in the toilets. The trainer says: “In a nice easy world, if somebody dies, which someone dying on an aircraft isn’t, you put them back in their seat. "I know crew who had to sit next to somebody who had passed away for the rest of the flight. “The main thing is you cannot block a door, you cannot put a dead passenger in a toilet. “It is not respectful and also they are not strapped in for landing.” Explaining the difficulties of removing the body once rigor mortis sets in, the trainer says: “If they slid off the toilet and you land they will end up on the floor and they have to take the aircraft apart to get that person out.” The documentary also reveals the high standards demanded by BA, who are recruiting younger, cheaper cabin crew. A year’s wages for a hostess are barely more than the top-price £9,500 Clubworld ticket to LA. http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/dead-passengers-british-airways-flights-3630744#ixzz33O6yRFaY [youtube]YCTgcZ6ImsQ[/youtube]
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Joffa
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Air rage no more: airline scraps reclining seats after passenger rows Saturday 31 May 2014 An airline is to do away with reclining seats, which it says will give passengers more space. Monarch said its "newly designed non-reclining ergonomic aircraft seats" will also reduce fuel emissions because of the amount of weight they will save, while it is also hoped the move will bring an end to disagreements caused by passengers leaning back towards those behind them. The announcement follows a survey by flight comparison website skyscanner, which found 91% of those asked wanted to see reclining seats on short haul flights either abolished or used only at set times. Its poll last October also found that more than half of the 1,000 people questioned thought they should be restricted to set times on long-haul flights, with almost a third saying a reclined seat had caused them discomfort in the past. A separate survey found that more than 60% of international cabin crew asked said they had been involved in or witness to an argument between passengers over reclining seats. Monarch said that as well as giving passengers more legroom, the new thinner seats will also feature a tablet holder. The airline said that when compared with a set of its existing seats, a set of new seats on a flight to Egypt saves 255kg fuel, equivalent to 816kg of carbon dioxide on a single flight. Monarch's director of customer experience and marketing, Tim Williamson, said: "Our new ergonomic seats have been designed with our customers' needs in the forefront of our minds. The new non-reclining design gives our customers far more 'living space' than traditional seats, without the fear of the person in front impinging on their personal space. "We noted from customer feedback that seat storage is particularly important. The new seats offer more flexibility than traditional 'pockets,' using the concept of the bungee cord the storage area can now comfortably fit water bottles, jackets and even kids' toys. The innovative tablet holder also enables our customers to create their own personal in-flight entertainment system." http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/transport/air-rage-no-more-airline-scraps-reclining-seats-after-passenger-rows.1401522684
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Heineken
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Joffa, you really have way too much free time on your hands. You need to find yourself a hobby. One other than trawling through the interwebz looking for fucked up news articles. :lol:
WOLLONGONG WOLVES FOR A-LEAGUE EXPANSION!
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Joffa
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Man with cow manure fetish jailed for five years David Truscott threatened to kill a farming family after they tried to stop him from laying naked in cow slurry on their land Friday 30 May 2014 A man with a fetish for rolling naked in cow manure has been sentenced to five years in jail after he threatened to kill a family when they tried to stop him from targeting their farm. 43-year-old David Truscott had developed an obsession with Woodbury House Farm in Redruth, Cornwall, and repeatedly targeted the land over an eight-year period. Initially removing cow pats from the farm, Truscott’s behaviour escalated when he began entering the farm to masturbate while “wallowing” in slurry, Judge Philip Wassall told the court on Friday. When farmers Clive and Jackie Roth attempted to prevent his actions by erecting bollards and removing slurry from their fields, he began to take revenge. Truscott repeatedly set fire to their shed, tractor, enclosures and hay - killing a calf in one blaze, and was subsequently jailed in 2005, 2009, and 2011. In September 2009, he received a 16-week sentence after he stripped naked in the cattle pen, released the cattle and climbed into the slurry spreader. On his release, Truscott returned to the farm and sat naked in cow faeces, and was jailed for a further 20 weeks. David Truscott who has cow slurry fetish David Truscott who has cow slurry fetish Last year, he admitted making threats to kill the Roth family and damage their property. Prosecuting, Eleanor Purkis said: “The defendant has a fetish in relation to animal faeces.” His last offence was in June last year, when Truscott told support workers he wanted to "get revenge" on Mrs Roth and her 17-year-old son, said Ms Purkis. "He said 'I will buy a car with the £2,500 I have in my wardrobe and I will drive to Cornwall. I will kidnap them and I will burn them," Ms Purkis said. Truscott was described as ”joyful“ while describing his revenge as he played with lighters, Ms Purkis said. In a police interview, Mrs Roth said Truscott's offences had affected the family business financially. "She feels the place is no longer clean in relation to the sexual acts being carried out,“ Ms Purkis said. On Friday he was handed an extended sentence of 10 years following psychiatric reports. Truscott, who has autism spectrum disorder, will spend the first five years of his prison sentence receiving hospital treatment, and will serve an extended licence period of five years on release from prison. The judge also imposed an extended restraining order to keep him from the farm. Representing Truscott, Robin Smith said: "Clearly, he is a complex and troubled character." Members of the Roth family, who attended court, did not wish to comment following the hearing. Additional reporting by PA http://www.newsnow.co.uk/h/?JavaScript=1&lang=&search=man+jailed+cow
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Joffa
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Naked man hit by car after dodging traffic and pretending to be a dog Friday 30 May 2014 3:15 pm Police have appealed to the public to help them identify a man who was run over after appearing on a busy road in just his socks and acting like a dog. The man was taken to hospital in Brno, a city in the south-eastern part of the Czech Republic, after being knocked over by a driver who had not seen him because he was on all fours and weaving in and out of moving traffic. A witness told local TV: ‘The man ran out of a forest on all fours, wearing only socks. ‘He was growling and barking, and making out as if he was going to try and bite the car tyres,’ he said. ‘He even lifted his leg to wee on one car as it pulled to a stop, and barked at the owner when he got out of the car to complain.’ A police spokesperson said when they found the semi-naked man at the scene he was ‘whimpering’. (Picture: CEN)The man is now in an artificial coma (Picture: CEN) ‘When police arrived after complaints about a traffic disturbance he had already been hit by a car and run over,’ said Pavel Svab. The man, who is now in an artificial coma, had no form of identification because he was only wearing socks. Police have asked anyone who recognises the man from the pictures to contact them. http://metro.co.uk/2014/05/30/naked-man-hit-by-car-after-dodging-traffic-and-pretending-to-be-a-dog-4745182/
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Joffa
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Things you’d never want to confess to your mum, no 456: Police officer gets caught masturbating in Starbucks coffee shop Matt Payton Sunday 25 May 2014 3:12 pm There’s a lot in Starbucks to get a guy excited. I mean, who doesn’t get a little frisson at the return of the Christmas cups, the first pumpkin latte of the year or a nice bit of chocolate tiffin? We have all been there. But one off-duty cop who felt the urge in Starbucks took it to the next level – and gave baristas more than they bargained for – when he touched himself in public. New Jersey Police Lieutenant Benito Gonzales Jr was caught by Starbucks staff with his shorts down, pleasuring himself under a table. Embarrassingly for Gonzales, police circulated his image in the hope of identifying the then-unknown flasher. Prior to his suspension, the 17-year veteran police officer was commanding a small narcotics unit. According to his department’s website, he was given an award in October for meritorious service to the police. Gonzales’ boss, Camden County Police Chief, Scott Thomson, said the police officer had been ‘removed from duty’ and that the department was ‘deeply troubled by the allegations of this off-duty conduct.’ He is currently being investigated under a charge of cwith a court hearing due on June 4. http://metro.co.uk/2014/05/25/things-youd-never-want-to-confess-to-your-mum-no-456-police-officer-gets-caught-masturbating-in-starbucks-coffee-shop-4739509/
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thupercoach
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Joffa wrote:7 bizarre sex stories that you couldn’t even make up Tuesday 20 May 2014 12:09 pm Amid disturbing reports about a US man who allegedly tried to have sex with an ATM, before trying his luck with a wooden picnic table, Metro takes a look at other bizarre sex stories that you just couldn’t make up. 7. The guy who tried to have sex with a drinks trolley Andrew Davidson, 25, had consumed a cocktail of legal highs and alcohol when he attempted to have sex with a drinks trolley on a busy train in 2013. He was seen humping the trolley while shouting ‘I want to kiss you, I want to f*** you’. After avoiding a prison sentence, his solicitor said: ‘It is something that has never happened before and is unlikely to ever happen again.’ 6. The guy who ‘tried to have sex with an ambulance’ Another 25-year-old man was arrested after setting fire to a packet of peanuts before appearing ‘to try and make love to an ambulance’. A court heard the man was in ‘relatively high spirits’ on a night out in Barnstaple, Devon, in 2011. He was given a community order and told to pay a victim surcharge of £60. 5. The guy who tried to have sex with a car wash vacuum In 2008, a US man was arrested for ‘receiving sexual favours from a vacuum’ at a car wash in Michigan. A witness, who saw the man acting suspiciously, said: ‘I’ve seen some strange things, but this is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.’ 4. The vicar hospitalised with a potato up his bum A clumsy vicar was hospitalised in Sheffield after accidentally getting a potato stuck up his bum, but it was definitely not due to a sex game. Nurse Trudi Watson said: ‘He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.’ 3. The guy who had sex with his girlfriend’s dog A teenager avoided jail after filming himself having sex with his girlfriend’s pet dog called Rudi. Wayne Bryson’s girlfriend found the shocking footage on his mobile phone. A court heard it ‘was 30 seconds of madness’. 2. The guy who tried to have sex with sheep after a cow turned him down An IT worker tried to have sex with a sheep after a cow turned him down. The court heard: ‘He did not successfully penetrate the mouth of a cow with his penis and he then moved to another part of the field and tried his luck with some sheep.’ 1. The guy who likes cheese a bit too much This guy likes to drive around his neighbourhood and offer women money to put cheese on his genitals (allegedly). Chris Pagano, dubbed the Swiss cheese pervert, was arrested after police released a photo of a trouserless man dangling a slice of the smelly stuff in the air. http://metro.co.uk/2014/05/20/bizarre-sex-stories-7-strange-sex-incidents-you-couldnt-make-up-4734035/ "Portnoy's Complaint" - way before any of this stuff.
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Joffa
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7 bizarre sex stories that you couldn’t even make up Tuesday 20 May 2014 12:09 pm Amid disturbing reports about a US man who allegedly tried to have sex with an ATM, before trying his luck with a wooden picnic table, Metro takes a look at other bizarre sex stories that you just couldn’t make up. 7. The guy who tried to have sex with a drinks trolley Andrew Davidson, 25, had consumed a cocktail of legal highs and alcohol when he attempted to have sex with a drinks trolley on a busy train in 2013. He was seen humping the trolley while shouting ‘I want to kiss you, I want to f*** you’. After avoiding a prison sentence, his solicitor said: ‘It is something that has never happened before and is unlikely to ever happen again.’ 6. The guy who ‘tried to have sex with an ambulance’ Another 25-year-old man was arrested after setting fire to a packet of peanuts before appearing ‘to try and make love to an ambulance’. A court heard the man was in ‘relatively high spirits’ on a night out in Barnstaple, Devon, in 2011. He was given a community order and told to pay a victim surcharge of £60. 5. The guy who tried to have sex with a car wash vacuum In 2008, a US man was arrested for ‘receiving sexual favours from a vacuum’ at a car wash in Michigan. A witness, who saw the man acting suspiciously, said: ‘I’ve seen some strange things, but this is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard.’ 4. The vicar hospitalised with a potato up his bum A clumsy vicar was hospitalised in Sheffield after accidentally getting a potato stuck up his bum, but it was definitely not due to a sex game. Nurse Trudi Watson said: ‘He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in the kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.’ 3. The guy who had sex with his girlfriend’s dog A teenager avoided jail after filming himself having sex with his girlfriend’s pet dog called Rudi. Wayne Bryson’s girlfriend found the shocking footage on his mobile phone. A court heard it ‘was 30 seconds of madness’. 2. The guy who tried to have sex with sheep after a cow turned him down An IT worker tried to have sex with a sheep after a cow turned him down. The court heard: ‘He did not successfully penetrate the mouth of a cow with his penis and he then moved to another part of the field and tried his luck with some sheep.’ 1. The guy who likes cheese a bit too much This guy likes to drive around his neighbourhood and offer women money to put cheese on his genitals (allegedly). Chris Pagano, dubbed the Swiss cheese pervert, was arrested after police released a photo of a trouserless man dangling a slice of the smelly stuff in the air. http://metro.co.uk/2014/05/20/bizarre-sex-stories-7-strange-sex-incidents-you-couldnt-make-up-4734035/
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Joffa
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Man arrested for having sex with a cash point AND a picnic table Tuesday 20 May 2014 12:35 pm A 49-year-old man was arrested in Tennessee after attempting an unorthodox transaction with a cash machine. According to WKRN, Lonnie Hutton walked into a local bar in Murfreesboro, removed his trousers, and then proceeded to have sex with the bar’s ATM. Somehow, Hutton managed to successfully make a withdrawal. Responding officers found him walking around the bar, no longer engaged with the ATM. Sadly, he had clearly failed to complete his deposit, as he continued to thrust his hips while naked from the waist down. After securing Hutton, the police escorted him outside and told him to sit on a nearby picnic table. His lust for inanimate objects proving insatiable, he quickly began to have sex with his new-found seat. The jilted Romeo was snatched from his latest flame and arrested for public intoxication. His bail was set at $250, meaning the next sweet nothing whispered by his lover may be, ‘insufficient funds’. http://metro.co.uk/2014/05/20/man-arrested-for-having-sex-with-a-cash-point-and-a-picnic-table-4733835/
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afromanGT
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That's just fucking disturbing. How does that even happen? Are staff leaving things uncovered in the walk-in?
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Joffa
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'Rubbery' piece of calamari turns out to be a condom 20th May 2014 10:17am | By Editor When a diner in a restaurant found a particularly tough piece of calamari in her seafood meal, she removed it from her mouth to take a closer look - and discovered she'd been gnawing on a condom. ‘It was disgusting. My first horrific thought was: Is it used?’ Mai Liang told Metro. Things then took an even more stomach-churning turn when the owner of the restaurant, Yi Ze Teng, who was convinced she was being swindled, decided to swallow the condom to end the matter. She had accused the diners of popping the prophylactic into their food to blag a free meal. However, even though Ms Ze Teng swallowed the condom, Ms Liang is speaking to a lawyer in a bid to get compensation. http://www.tntdownunder.com/news/weird/rubbery-piece-of-calamari-turns-out-to-be-a-condom
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thupercoach
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afromanGT wrote:thupercoach wrote:Nurse Stevey Pope may not be stranger to the practice himself. What makes you think 'Stevey' is a guy's name? It improves the story immeasurably.
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afromanGT
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thupercoach wrote:Nurse Stevey Pope may not be stranger to the practice himself. What makes you think 'Stevey' is a guy's name?
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thupercoach
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Nurse Stevey Pope may not be stranger to the practice himself.
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Joffa
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Man suffering from ‘constipation’ had vibrator stuck inside him Saturday 17 May 2014 6:21 pm A man suffering from ‘constipation’ turned out to have a running vibrator in his large intestine. Unsurprisingly the patient, who remained anonymous, had been reluctant to tell doctors the reason for his discomfort when visiting a hospital in Fresno, California. But after an X-ray it became apparent he had been up to something strange in the bedroom. ‘We could see, perfectly, a large object that was lodged in the large intestine,’ said nurse Stevey Pope, who treated the man. ‘This is the first time I’ve encountered a running vibrator still inside somebody.’ It was later revealed by the man’s wife the dildo had become stuck after they ‘got adventurous’. ‘Things got out of control and the vibrator got lost inside him,’ Pope added. The nurse said if the vibrator had not been removed the man could have suffered a number of problems, including internal bleeding. It’s the latest incident detailed on TV show Sex Sent Me To The ER, which airs on TLC. http://metro.co.uk/2014/05/17/man-suffering-from-constipation-had-vibrator-stuck-inside-him-4731572/
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Joffa
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Cocaine use so high it's contaminating British water: report Researchers at the Drinking Water Inspectorate found high traces of benzoylecgonine — a metabolized version of cocaine — which the agency says proves the scale of use of the drug has increased. It is estimated some 700,000 Brits between 16 and 59 use cocaine each year. BY David Harding / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS/ Published: Sunday, May 11, 2014, 11:22 AM Cocaine use in the UK is so high that a metabolized form of the drug is contaminating drinking water, a new report said. Cocaine use is now so widespread in the UK that it has contaminated the water supply. A study has shown that cocaine is so widely used that traces of the drug have made their way through intense purification treatments. Researchers from the Drinking Water Inspectorate found drinking water contained benzoylecgonine, the form of the drug that it appears once it has passed through the body. Steve Rolles, from drug policy think tank Transform, said the findings were proof of the scale of the use of cocaine in the UK. "We have the near highest level of cocaine use in western Europe," he told the Sunday Times. "It has also been getting cheaper and cheaper at the same time as its use has been going up." It is thought that 700,000 people aged between 16 and 59 take cocaine every year in Britain. Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/cocaine-contaminating-british-water-report-article-1.1788078#ixzz31UI2ijnK
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thupercoach
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Lol, that's hilarious. Talk about a failed marketing gimmick.
Like the Nova in South America or that famous Swedish slogan "Nothing sucks like Electrolux".
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Joffa
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US firm pulls detergent box over neo-Nazi code Published: 10 May 2014 08:25 GMT+02:00 Updated: 10 May 2014 08:25 GMT+02:00 US consumer goods giant Procter & Gamble said Friday it had axed a promotional package for its popular Ariel washing powder in Germany which inadvertently featured a neo-Nazi code. The company said it had stopped selling boxes marked with a white football jersey and "88" in large black letters earlier this week after a storm of protest on social media. The number 88 is used by the far right in Germany to stand for the Nazi salute "Heil Hitler" because H is the eighth letter of the alphabet, thus circumventing Germany's strict laws on banned political slogans and symbols. Criticism online also focused on the advertising tagline "new concentration", evoking the Nazi death camps, and the name Ariel's resemblance to the word Aryan. P&G Deutschland, the company's German unit, responded to a reporter on Twitter: "A clear NO to far-right ideology -- Ariel packages with unwanted ambiguity of '88' have since Monday no longer been shipped". A P&G spokeswoman said the company had never considered the number's connotation in Germany. "We wanted to advertise for 83 plus 5, that is five extra washes beyond the 83 usually in this package size," she told German news agency DPA. Just last month a German furniture store chain was forced to apologise for selling coffee mugs featuring faint portraits of Adolf Hitler it had unwittingly ordered from a Chinese supplier. http://www.thelocal.de/20140510/us-firm-pulls-detergent-box-over-neo-nazi-code
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Joffa
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Contestant on Turkish dating TV show is asked to leave after revealing he murdered his ex-wife... AND his subsequent lover Sefer Calinak, 62, told Flash TV's 'Luck of the Draw' he had been convicted He said he'd killed his first wife - his cousin - after becoming jealous Then he killed his lover after she came at him with an axe, he said Calinak said: 'She was accidentally killed when I swung the axe' Published: 20:10 GMT, 8 May 2014 | Updated: 20:56 GMT, 8 May 2014 A contestant on a Turkish television dating was asked to leave after he revealed to a shocked audience he had murdered his wife and a former lover. Sefer Calinak, 62, told Flash TV's 'Luck of the Draw' he had served prison sentences for each of the murders and had been released under an amnesty programme. He told the show's host 'I'm an honest person looking for a new wife' before adding he killed his first wife because he was 'irritated' by her behaviour and murdered a subsequent partner because he thought she was after his money. A contestant on a Turkish television dating was asked to leave after he revealed to a shocked audience he had murdered his wife and a former lover. Sefer Calinak, 62, told Flash TV's 'Luck of the Draw' he had served prison sentences for each of the murders and had been released under an amnesty programme A contestant on a Turkish television dating was asked to leave after he revealed to a shocked audience he had murdered his wife and a former lover. Sefer Calinak, 62, told Flash TV's 'Luck of the Draw' he had served prison sentences for each of the murders and had been released under an amnesty programme Calinak was asked to leave the show by the host, prompting applause from the studio audience, in an episode which made headlines in Turkish newspapers. He has since said that he will leave his search for a wife 'to God'. Çalınak was twice released from prison under a government amnesty - without completing his sentences it has been reported. His first wife was a cousin named Fadime, who he married when they were both 17, as they tried to escape Fadime's forced arranged marriage to a widower, Hurrieydailynews.com reports. He said after five months of living together her behaviour changed. He said: 'The nephew of the man who wanted to marry her started to come to our village. I was jealous and I killed her, in a way.' He said he was released from his 13 year nine month sentence after four years and six months. He then married another woman, and they had two children, but they separated. He then embarked on an affair with another woman who said she would leave her husband for him - but he said she did not. He said: 'I killed her after she attempted to kill me. She was accidentally killed when I swung the axe.' Çalınak was again sent to prison, but released in another amnesty. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2623632/Contestant-Turkish-dating-TV-asked-leave-revealing-murdered-ex-wife-AND-subsequent-lover.html#ixzz31CvrEMnI Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
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thupercoach
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RedKat wrote:Quote:A PORN-addicted former lawyer decided he wanted to legally marry the computer he is fixated to. Chris Sevier, who we reported last July is suing Apple for ruining his marriage, argued that if gays are allowed to marry in California then so should other sexual minorities. Sevier, from Florida, said that he had fallen in love with his pornography-laden MacBook. “Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women,” he told a court in Florida, Fox 13 reported. When he was refused a marriage licence for him and his “machine spouse” in florida, Sevier took his claim to Utah. His 50-page claim filed in Utah was reported as an attempt to stop a gay marriage case in the federal court. Sevier argues that allowing gays to marry but denying him the same right amounts to discrimination. “We are in different classes of sexual orientation,” he told the court in Utah. In his motion he stated: “The exclusion from marriage to a machine denies myself a dignity and status of immense import.” Sevier cited legal precedents around the world — including a case where a woman married a dolphin and a man in China who wed a cardboard cut-out of himself. “Allowing my marriage to go forward will not adversely impact the fertility rate any more or less than a same sex couples,” said Sevier, who describes himself as “a former judge advocate and combat veteran”. “If there is a risk that is posed to traditional marriage and children, both man-man couples and man-machine couples pose it equally. “In considering the equal protection clause, there are no fewer policy reasons for preventing man-machine couples from marrying than there are for same-sex couples.” The Utah court ruled against Sevier’s motion. http://www.news.com.au/technology/online/porn-addict-chris-sevier-in-legal-bid-to-marry-his-computer/story-fnjwmwrh-1226910989507 I say let him marry his laptop.
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