WGMG: 90% sure I have hemorrhoids, its excruciatingly painful to lie down and sit up. 

That's not your gears grinding

Literally a pain in the arse.  (50% chance of getting these in your lifetime.)

Tablespoon of this gear a day and you'll be sweet after they settle down.

http://www.healthline.com/health/psyllium-health-benefits?m=2#laxative2

Sprinkle it on your cereal, mix it with milk, juice etc etc.  

At the risk of being extremely graphic, I can feel a distinct, tender lump around my anus. It's not an internal soreness.

But yeah I'll give that sus Muz cheers.

Can vouch for the Psyllium husk generally.  I'm a glass of juice man, neck it fast.

Good gut work fixes a lot of ills,

Certainly won't do your Nobbys any harm

That'd be a 'grape' all right.

It's going to take a week or so to settle down unfortunately.  Throw in a handful of salt into a warm bath and put your arse in that for 15 minutes.  Seems to help.

At the risk of being more graphic you need to retrain yourself for your dunny work.  Go when the urge takes you, don't strain, don't sit there thinking there's more to come and giving it 'one last push'.  Go twice a day if you have to.  The 'feeling' that there's more is a side effect of these bastard things.  You think you still need to go, push harder which then makes it worse because of all the straining.  

Google up pile do's and don'ts.  (Go into incognito mode otherwise you'll be spammed with haemorrhoid ads and the next user of the computer is in for a surprise)

There's loads of good info there.  If it's really annoying you go and get a cream from the chemist and a set of disposable rubber gloves.  The creams are pretty much ineffective but some of them have an anaethestic in them which will make ol mate less 'angry' in the downstairs department.

If it goes on for weeks on end go and see a doc.

Good luck. 

For some reason I pictured this on the back of a book like a review. Praise my absurdist mind!

I started weightlifting over the past few months so I'm guessing a high-protein diet and a lack of fiber has caused it. Anyways cheers for all your advice (Muz especially!)

there was that picture doing the rounds of a weightlifter who blew his guts out the back entrance.

Maybe that's the issue ?

I don't squat enough (read: once every two weeks) for that to be an issue lol, but I do imagine a high protein diet + strenuous core/lower body activity would do the trick

I'll leave the imagining to you

WGMG: The Walking Dead just left some poo in the shower. No joke. Just left some there ya know 

WGMG: The attitudes of some people in my team. I get screamed at for dribbling past 2-3 players and putting in a pass that we almost score from for not taking an initial easy pass. Only their wasn't an easy pass or any pass, that's why I started dribbling to start with. The only other options until I played the ball into the box was to turn around put it out or just to give it to the other team directly. Three weeks in a row I've had the opposition players who I'd just beaten in the dribble tell me my teammates are arseholes.

Wgmg: got sacked from the building  job. The golden child  got his wish and got rid of the people he didn't like. 
Good news is I got a new job starting on thuRd day.   Also good that the golden child will get his comeuppance as he is useless and the management will slowly find that out

WRGMG: The usual suspects hate-fucking on Margaret Court for not being as open minded and tolerant as they are- while not giving a moment to ask Waleed or Yassmin what their position on SSM is, because that'd be racist or something...seriously if these people didn't have double-standards, they'd have no standards to begin with. 

WRGMG: The cost to register your car in this country- especially if moving interstate. I didn't realise rape was still legal?

A couple of things:
1. Waleed has written articles about SSM in the past. His position is not a secret
2. No one asked Margaret Court for her opinion, she willing gave it in an open letter to the newspaper. If Yassmin or any other person were to do the same they'd for sure get the same treatment. 

I read the article you linked. Waleed talks about the same-sex marriage debate and legislative processes at the time when it was written but he never states that he is for same-sex marriage. If I was being cynical, I would say the Waleed could of written the article to lead the reader to assume he is for SSM (being a leftist commentator) when in fact he is against it. He is, after all, a religious and devout Muslim. In saying that, it would be hard to believe that Waleed is against SSM.

I understand Haddock's frustration. People in our society are held to different standards because they look a certain way. An old white woman stating her opinion against SSM will draw criticism because she represents the past whereas a young and pretty brown woman defending similar views will draw no such criticism.

Devout Muslims can pick and choose what they are devout about ?

Guess why there's so many Victorian plates in Queensland.

It is possible to have religious beliefs but also support a secular society where those beliefs shouldn't impinge on the freedoms of others. As I said before, I honestly don't care what Waleed or anyone else thinks about it. I respect people's right to hold genuine opinions on things. It changes when you're politically active about it like Margaret Court is or Coopers (at best) appeared to be by sponsoring that video. Then people have the right to criticise them back.

It's interesting because I agree with this statement

But see it all completely differently. Have you got an example of a "young and pretty brown woman defending similar views" drawing no criticism?

Bingo. It's hypocritical to applaud companies like Ben & Jerry's, QANTAS and several major banks for their rainbow-coloured, opportunistic endorsement of SSM but then demonise  companies like Coopers and Chick-Fil-A and bakeries in the USA for having a differing opinion- all the while claiming that those other people are "intolerant" and "bigoted".

Probably want to read up on the paradox of intolerance to understand why this isn't in anyway hypocritical.

Isn't it the free market at work lol

Yassmin Abdel-Magied seems to get a free pass from the left despite her conservative views.

Care to elaborate?

Which conservative views does she espouse that she isn't criticised for?

Do I have to look up source material?

If you could that'd be helpful. I'm afraid, I tried searching for stuff and came up empty


The only thing I can think of is the misreporting that she supports Hizb ut-Tahrir which was based on a Facebook post from a follower criticising her and she respectfully replied asking what he thought she should have done differently.

WGMG: Have a group presentation due tomorrow.  Other members of the group are in Sydney and Osaka.  I completed my bit about 5 hours ago and been sitting here having a wank waiting for the other two to do their shit