Dr Colin's Thread of Love, Lust and S&M


Dr Colin's Thread of Love, Lust and S&M

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KiwiChick1
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MidfieldMaestro wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
MidfieldMaestro wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
What I really want is for guys to stop wanting a relationship with me, but I can't exactly get that.


Thought you hated being 'forever alone'?


Oh fuck off.


You know what? Give it a rest. Where did this side of you come from?

You go on about how it sucks to be lonely (I know that feeling) but resent being 'liked'. Don't be surprised when the guys here become confused.

There are some people here genuinely trying to give you good advice, but some of your responses are filled with nothing but animosity.


I'm sorry dude, I shouldn't have snapped. I've never had this kind of pressure in my personal life before, and I really can't deal with it.
Edited
9 Years Ago by KiwiChick1
MidfieldMaestro
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KiwiChick1 wrote:
MidfieldMaestro wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
MidfieldMaestro wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
What I really want is for guys to stop wanting a relationship with me, but I can't exactly get that.


Thought you hated being 'forever alone'?


Oh fuck off.


You know what? Give it a rest. Where did this side of you come from?

You go on about how it sucks to be lonely (I know that feeling) but resent being 'liked'. Don't be surprised when the guys here become confused.

There are some people here genuinely trying to give you good advice, but some of your responses are filled with nothing but animosity.


I'm sorry dude, I shouldn't have snapped. I've never had this kind of pressure in my personal life before, and I really can't deal with it.


That's ok, I understand that.

Honestly, you seem like a nice girl and one day you'll find someone who genuinely likes you for who you are. And remember, sex is not the #1 priority for every guy.

Don't forget people care enough here to try and help you out.
Edited
9 Years Ago by MidfieldMaestro
KiwiChick1
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MidfieldMaestro wrote:
That's ok, I understand that.

Honestly, you seem like a nice girl and one day you'll find someone who genuinely likes you for who you are. And remember, sex is not the #1 priority for every guy.

Don't forget people care enough here to try and help you out.


I've basically gone from guys not even looking at me, to ones asking me out. It should be awesome, I should feel really good about people being interested in me, but I just really don't. I don't even like who I am, so I can't really accept that anyone else would. I don't want to feel like I've got all of these expectations to live up to now trying to prove that I'm worthy of the attention I'm getting. I just want to enjoy uni and make some new friends, and just have a bit of fun.
Edited
9 Years Ago by KiwiChick1
notorganic
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KiwiChick1 wrote:
I just want to enjoy uni and make some new friends, and just have a bit of fun.


Then do this and stop worrying about everything else.

There's no shame in a polite "I'm flattered in the interest, but I'm not interested in a relationship" to any guy that asks you out.
Edited
9 Years Ago by notorganic
Eastern Glory
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Had a great afternoon :lol:


Edited
9 Years Ago by Eastern Glory
afromanGT
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notorganic wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
I just want to enjoy uni and make some new friends, and just have a bit of fun.


Then do this and stop worrying about everything else.

There's no shame in a polite "I'm flattered in the interest, but I'm not interested in a relationship" to any guy that asks you out.

I concur.

NB: this also doesn't mean you can't go out with these guys and have a good time.
Edited
9 Years Ago by afromanGT
KiwiChick1
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notorganic wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
I just want to enjoy uni and make some new friends, and just have a bit of fun.


Then do this and stop worrying about everything else.

There's no shame in a polite "I'm flattered in the interest, but I'm not interested in a relationship" to any guy that asks you out.


And I've said that to them! But for some reason that's seen as a challenge ](*,)
Edited
9 Years Ago by KiwiChick1
catbert
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KiwiChick1 wrote:
notorganic wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
I just want to enjoy uni and make some new friends, and just have a bit of fun.


Then do this and stop worrying about everything else.

There's no shame in a polite "I'm flattered in the interest, but I'm not interested in a relationship" to any guy that asks you out.


And I've said that to them! But for some reason that's seen as a challenge ](*,)


In that case going out on a date would probably not be advised, might feed that alpha male bullshit. (Can see you what you mean by that now)
Edited
9 Years Ago by catbert
KiwiChick1
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catbert wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
notorganic wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
I just want to enjoy uni and make some new friends, and just have a bit of fun.


Then do this and stop worrying about everything else.

There's no shame in a polite "I'm flattered in the interest, but I'm not interested in a relationship" to any guy that asks you out.


And I've said that to them! But for some reason that's seen as a challenge ](*,)


In that case going out on a date would probably not be advised, might feed that alpha male bullshit. (Can see you what you mean by that now)


You're far too late with that advice :lol:
Edited
9 Years Ago by KiwiChick1
General Ashnak
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This is a terrible thing to say but I will any way. Don't get drunk around someone who doesn't take no as an answer. I know enough people who have been raped.

The thing about football - the important thing about football - is its not just about football.
- Sir Terry Pratchett in Unseen Academicals
For pro/rel in Australia across the entire pyramid, the removal of artificial impediments to the development of the game and its players.
On sabbatical Youth Coach and formerly part of The Cove FC

Edited
9 Years Ago by General Ashnak
afromanGT
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General Ashnak wrote:
This is a terrible thing to say but I will any way. Don't get drunk around someone who doesn't take no as an answer. I know enough people who have been raped.

I'd have thought that went without saying.
Edited
9 Years Ago by afromanGT
General Ashnak
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afromanGT wrote:
General Ashnak wrote:
This is a terrible thing to say but I will any way. Don't get drunk around someone who doesn't take no as an answer. I know enough people who have been raped.

I'd have thought that went without saying.

It is a terrible thing to say cause I don't know the bloke from a bar of soap and am showing a pretty low opinion of his character.

The thing about football - the important thing about football - is its not just about football.
- Sir Terry Pratchett in Unseen Academicals
For pro/rel in Australia across the entire pyramid, the removal of artificial impediments to the development of the game and its players.
On sabbatical Youth Coach and formerly part of The Cove FC

Edited
9 Years Ago by General Ashnak
KiwiChick1
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General Ashnak wrote:
afromanGT wrote:
General Ashnak wrote:
This is a terrible thing to say but I will any way. Don't get drunk around someone who doesn't take no as an answer. I know enough people who have been raped.

I'd have thought that went without saying.

It is a terrible thing to say cause I don't know the bloke from a bar of soap and am showing a pretty low opinion of his character.


I wouldn't place myself in a situation like that anyway.
Edited
9 Years Ago by KiwiChick1
ual
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Females are the epitome of confusing and frustrating :lol: This chick initiates a conversation, then replies with only one word answers or just stops replying completely lolol, why do people do that :lol:
Edited
9 Years Ago by ual
afromanGT
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So my former housemate's girlfriend was at the bar I was at last night with a few mutual friends of all of ours. She ended up getting a bit drunk and hitting on me hard. Awkward. As.
Edited
9 Years Ago by afromanGT
KiwiChick1
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ual wrote:
Females are the epitome of confusing and frustrating :lol: This chick initiates a conversation, then replies with only one word answers or just stops replying completely lolol, why do people do that :lol:


Because she wants you to put in effort to see whether or not you're interested in her.
Edited
9 Years Ago by KiwiChick1
General Ashnak
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KiwiChick1 wrote:
ual wrote:
Females are the epitome of confusing and frustrating :lol: This chick initiates a conversation, then replies with only one word answers or just stops replying completely lolol, why do people do that :lol:


Because she wants you to put in effort to see whether or not you're interested in her.

Biggest. Turnoff. Ever.

The thing about football - the important thing about football - is its not just about football.
- Sir Terry Pratchett in Unseen Academicals
For pro/rel in Australia across the entire pyramid, the removal of artificial impediments to the development of the game and its players.
On sabbatical Youth Coach and formerly part of The Cove FC

Edited
9 Years Ago by General Ashnak
notorganic
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General Ashnak wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
ual wrote:
Females are the epitome of confusing and frustrating :lol: This chick initiates a conversation, then replies with only one word answers or just stops replying completely lolol, why do people do that :lol:


Because she wants you to put in effort to see whether or not you're interested in her.

Biggest. Turnoff. Ever.

Yep.
Edited
9 Years Ago by notorganic
AJohn
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notorganic wrote:
General Ashnak wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
ual wrote:
Females are the epitome of confusing and frustrating :lol: This chick initiates a conversation, then replies with only one word answers or just stops replying completely lolol, why do people do that :lol:


Because she wants you to put in effort to see whether or not you're interested in her.

Biggest. Turnoff. Ever.

Yep.


Can confirm.
Edited
9 Years Ago by AJohn
Eastern Glory
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AJohn wrote:
notorganic wrote:
General Ashnak wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
ual wrote:
Females are the epitome of confusing and frustrating :lol: This chick initiates a conversation, then replies with only one word answers or just stops replying completely lolol, why do people do that :lol:


Because she wants you to put in effort to see whether or not you're interested in her.

Biggest. Turnoff. Ever.

Yep.


Can confirm.


100%
Edited
9 Years Ago by Eastern Glory
MusikResponse
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Farrand93 wrote:
AJohn wrote:
notorganic wrote:
General Ashnak wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
ual wrote:
Females are the epitome of confusing and frustrating :lol: This chick initiates a conversation, then replies with only one word answers or just stops replying completely lolol, why do people do that :lol:


Because she wants you to put in effort to see whether or not you're interested in her.

Biggest. Turnoff. Ever.

Yep.


Can confirm.


100%


This so much. Advice to any females reading these forums, guys absolutely hate these manipulative games (in general). The truth is a guy could be super interested in you but by playing these games you are telling him you're a bit of a nutcase and he will most likely end up losing whatever interest he had. You're shooting yourself in the foot.
Edited
9 Years Ago by MusikResponse
KiwiChick1
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MusikResponse wrote:
Farrand93 wrote:
AJohn wrote:
notorganic wrote:
General Ashnak wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
ual wrote:
Females are the epitome of confusing and frustrating :lol: This chick initiates a conversation, then replies with only one word answers or just stops replying completely lolol, why do people do that :lol:


Because she wants you to put in effort to see whether or not you're interested in her.

Biggest. Turnoff. Ever.

Yep.


Can confirm.


100%


This so much. Advice to any females reading these forums, guys absolutely hate these manipulative games (in general). The truth is a guy could be super interested in you but by playing these games you are telling him you're a bit of a nutcase and he will most likely end up losing whatever interest he had. You're shooting yourself in the foot.


Ftr though, girls aren't the only ones who play games.
Edited
9 Years Ago by KiwiChick1
catbert
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Right, so this chick who i've been dating for about a month, although we've barely been able to go out from academic commitments, is awkward and uncomfortable as fuck around me now that we're together (note: she hasn't had a boyfriend before) and it is rather impacting badly upon things.

Any thought lads on how to break that awkwardness down? (also, i've established it's not because she actually doesn't like me, she's just interesting like that.)
Edited
9 Years Ago by catbert
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catbert wrote:
Right, so this chick who i've been dating for about a month, although we've barely been able to go out from academic commitments, is awkward and uncomfortable as fuck around me now that we're together (note: she hasn't had a boyfriend before) and it is rather impacting badly upon things.

Any thought lads on how to break that awkwardness down? (also, i've established it's not because she actually doesn't like me, she's just interesting like that.)


It sounds like you're just adjusting to your new relationship. Talk to her, ask her what would make her feel more comfortable. Tell her what your feelings are. Things usually work themselves out over time.

My best advice is just to set aside time for her, but not every single day. How I normally deal with it is I go out and do something I haven't done before, with her. When things got awkward with my last ex, I decided to go white-water rafting with her, and it broke down the barrier for awhile. Though, I'm not the best for advice.
Edited
9 Years Ago by AJohn
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KiwiChick1 wrote:
ual wrote:
Females are the epitome of confusing and frustrating :lol: This chick initiates a conversation, then replies with only one word answers or just stops replying completely lolol, why do people do that :lol:


Because she wants you to put in effort to see whether or not you're interested in her.

Both sides hate the other fishing around for whatever. You either are or aren't interested. Don't put some condition on it like "I wanted to see if he'd bring me a Honey-eater's wing from Barbados deep fried in monk's tears". Fuck off.
Edited
9 Years Ago by afromanGT
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catbert wrote:
Right, so this chick who i've been dating for about a month, although we've barely been able to go out from academic commitments, is awkward and uncomfortable as fuck around me now that we're together (note: she hasn't had a boyfriend before) and it is rather impacting badly upon things.

Any thought lads on how to break that awkwardness down? (also, i've established it's not because she actually doesn't like me, she's just interesting like that.)


I feel like I should be able to contribute something since I'm sort of the same as the girl in this, but I'm completely clueless :lol:
On that note, will I ever feel like I'm "ready" for a relationship, or is it just something that I have to have a go at and then see from there?
Edited
9 Years Ago by KiwiChick1
ual
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KiwiChick1 wrote:
catbert wrote:
Right, so this chick who i've been dating for about a month, although we've barely been able to go out from academic commitments, is awkward and uncomfortable as fuck around me now that we're together (note: she hasn't had a boyfriend before) and it is rather impacting badly upon things.

Any thought lads on how to break that awkwardness down? (also, i've established it's not because she actually doesn't like me, she's just interesting like that.)


I feel like I should be able to contribute something since I'm sort of the same as the girl in this, but I'm completely clueless :lol:
On that note, will I ever feel like I'm "ready" for a relationship, or is it just something that I have to have a go at and then see from there?


As soon as you're not looking for a relationship and you start meeting people, shit will happen.
Edited
9 Years Ago by ual
KiwiChick1
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ual wrote:
KiwiChick1 wrote:
catbert wrote:
Right, so this chick who i've been dating for about a month, although we've barely been able to go out from academic commitments, is awkward and uncomfortable as fuck around me now that we're together (note: she hasn't had a boyfriend before) and it is rather impacting badly upon things.

Any thought lads on how to break that awkwardness down? (also, i've established it's not because she actually doesn't like me, she's just interesting like that.)


I feel like I should be able to contribute something since I'm sort of the same as the girl in this, but I'm completely clueless :lol:
On that note, will I ever feel like I'm "ready" for a relationship, or is it just something that I have to have a go at and then see from there?


As soon as you're not looking for a relationship and you start meeting people, shit will happen.


Shit will happen is a pretty broad term :lol: Idk, I just don't want to get into a relationship because I don't reckon I'm secure in myself to be with someone else, and it's something I'm kind of uncomfortable about. Oh my god I'm such a loser.
Edited
9 Years Ago by KiwiChick1
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11.mvfc.11 wrote:
Learn to accept the way you are, or do whatever you need to do to fix it. Don't wallow. Harsh, but you'll feel better for it.


That's not going to be something that can happen overnight for me. Maybe I just need to toughen up.
Edited
9 Years Ago by KiwiChick1
Benjo
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I really don't get women. Call a guy a douche a few days ago. Nek minnit, wants to date him.
Edited
9 Years Ago by Benjo
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