^^^ :lol:

What has Vanessa Perroncel got in common with a Champions League final goalpost?

[spoiler]They’ve both been banged by John Terry.[/spoiler]

I see we're doing John Terry jokes...

A Chelsea player is stopped for speeding at 130mph in a 30mph zone. When the police ask him to explain, he says: "I've just heard John Terry is parked outside my house."

After Wayne Bridge refused to play for England while John Terry remains captain, fans are now urging JT to try it on with Emile Heskey's wife.

John Terry has been lined up to star in a new ITV drama. It's called Other Footballers' Wives.

What do Wayne Bridge and the Titanic have in common?
[spoiler]They both should've stayed at Southampton.[/spoiler]

Chant heard at Hull v Chelsea: "Chelsea, Wherever you may be, Don't leave your wife with John Terry. Cos he likes a shag, he likes a bit of fluff, And he'll get your missus up the duff".

We all knew John Terry liked scoring at The Bridge, but this is ridiculous.

Wayne Bridge bought Vanessa Perroncel a chocolate willy... but she says she prefers Terry's.

John Terry has explained he didn't mean to have sex with Vanessa Perroncel - he just slipped while he was showing her how to take a penalty.

dont know what the fuss is all about... everyone knows that when a full back leaves a hole the centre half has to come across and fill it in

^^^=d> =d> =d>

ps. bloody love this thread. quality all round forumers. bravo.

Edited by SammyLovesBacon: 6/2/2010 07:15:51 PM

Bravo at John Terry Jokes afro :D

Send your regards to The Daily Mirror :-"

Actually, I submitted two of those :lol:

A tropical cylone has just ripped through a remote North Queensland settlement and caused two million dollars worth of improvements.

I lol'd

that is class now.

I broke up with my Haitian girlfriend about a month ago. She's still crushed.

if the person youre telling a joke to hasnt heard it it is then your joke.

Krackovich, poor taste but quality humour. too early?

:lol: I had to laugh.

I love the facebook group named: 'The Haitians don't deserve my help, they used to kill me on Vice City.'

mad group. Joined it the other day

So did i.

Q: Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

A:[spoiler]Because he was outstanding in his field[/spoiler]

LOL!

:lol:

Good on anth...

Q.what's the difference between an echidna and the man united team bus?

A.the man united team bus has more pricks

Edited by gooner4life_8: 9/2/2010 06:39:05 PM

Q.what do man united and an australian power cord have in common?

A.both are useless in europe

Edited by gooner4life_8: 9/2/2010 06:41:39 PM

one saturday a football fan was in north london and wanted to go to a match he went up to man and said "are there any football matches on in this afternoon?". the man replied "well, arsenal's ground is just down the road but they're playing away today, but if you're really desperate tottenham are playing at home today". "brilliant" said the football fan, "how do i get there?" the man said "well, you go down this road and take the bus to the ground, when you get there will be two queues a big one and a small one, go in the small queue 'cos the big one is for the fish n'chip shop.

Our new New Zealand neighbours have just challenged the kids to a water bomb fight. So I am just writing this while I boil the kettle.

I've just put a deposit on a new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I said " I can't wait for the new 911" and now 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend.[-x

I really shouldn't laugh, but i did get a chuckle outta that.

That's horrible.

I am sick to death of people knocking on the door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Geez did I give her a mouthful.;)

That's better ;)

Hahahaha :)

who is the kill joy censoring all the jokes, kevin airs??? drives me nuts leaving the joke there and blacking out the punchlines

Edited by 2stoned2play: 12/2/2010 11:33:59 AM