but ingrown toenails arnt funny Afro????

Melbourne pathetic turnout to a granfinal.

Lowest ever attendence to a GF in a decade or somthing IIRC.

Manu for life - for fucks sake put your banners in order - you are streching the page out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUUUUURRRRR what you say, it looked packed on fox - 2000 short of sell out in a market taht allowed zero publicity!!!!!

Congrats to the Victory fans the neutrals and the travelling COVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all, it wasn't the lowest grand final crowd in the last decade. Not even close. Fuck sydney fans are full of shit, sore winners as well as sore losers. #-o
'08 Grand Final, 36k attended.
'06 Grand Final, 41k attended.
Last time I checked, 44k was bigger than that, and with absolutely NO advertising at all, that's quite the achievement.

:( what ever happened to the 'JOKES' thread?

I dunno, I thought Heineken was pretty funny then. Making shit up like that.

FFA. There's a pretty big joke right there.

HOW TO SPEAK NEW ZULANDER - [ FOR BIST EFFICT, RID THESE OUT ALOUD ]
Milburn ............... capital of Victoria
Peck .................. to fill a suitcase
Pissed aside .......... chemical which kills insects
Pigs .................. for hanging out washing with
Pump .................. to act as agent for prostitute
Pug ................... large animal with a curly tail
Nin tin dough ......... computer game
Munner stroney ........ soup
Min ................... male of the species
Mess Kara ............. eye makeup
McKennock ............. person who fixes cars
Mere .................. Mayor
Leather ............... foam produced from soap
Lift .................. departed
Kiri Pecker ........... famous Australian businessman
Kittle crusps ......... potato chips
Ken's ................. Cairns
Jumbo ................. pet name for someone called Jim
Jungle Bills .......... Christmas carol
Inner me .............. enemy
Guess ................. vapour
Fush .................. marine creatures
Fitter cheney ......... type of pasta
Ever cardeau .......... avocado
Fear hear ............. blonde
Ear ................... mix of nitrogen and oxygen
Ear roebucks .......... exercise at the gym
Duffy cult ............ not easy
Amejen ................ visualise
Day old chuck ......... very young poultry
Bug hut ............... popular recording
Bun button ............ been bitten by insect
Beard ................. a place to sleep
Chully Bun ............ Esky
Sucks Peck ............ Half a dozen beers
Ear New Zulland ......an extinct airline
Beers ................. large savage animals found in U.S. forests
Veerjun ............... mythical New Zealand maiden
One Doze .............. well known computer program
Brudge ................ structure spanning a stream
Sex ................... one less than sivven
Tin ................... one more than nine
Iggs Ecktly ........... Precisely
Earplane .............. large flying machine
Beggage Chucken ....... place to leave your suitcase at the earport
Sivven Sucks Sivven.... large Boeing aircraft
Sivven Four Sivven .... larger Boeing aircraft
Cuds .................. children
Pits .................. domestic animals
Cuttin ................ baby cat

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

looks like the jokes thread is back, lolled the hardest at beer.... a large savage animal found in US forests :lol:

:lol: They're gold :lol: You should come up wit more :D

so this guy gets searing back pain and it gets too much for him. he goes to a doctor who gives him a thorough checking over and concludes "its your testicles, they're too big and pressing against the base of your spine. the only real cure is castration."
not satisfied with this answer he seeks other opinions and gets told the same thing. unable to stand the back pain he agrees to go under the knife.
... See More
the operation cures him but he is upset having lost some of his manhood so he goes out to buy a new suit for retail therapy, being fully fitted the tailor asks what size underwear he is wearing "32"
"sir, 32 is too small, you should wear a 34 or your balls will be forced up into your spine causing horrible back pain..."

What did the Leper say to the prostitute?
[spoiler]“Keep the Tip”[/spoiler]

Did you hear Reese Whathername got stabbed?
"Witherspoon?"
"no, with a knife"

Did you hear about the blind circumciser?
[spoiler]He got the sack.[/spoiler]

"My boss is a wanker. Unfortunately, I’m his right hand man. "

"What is it about Muslim men that ninjas find so sexy? "

"I've been addicted to Viagra lately. It's been the hardest three weeks of my life."

09) How was break dancing invented?
[spoiler](CANADIANS) trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars. [/spoiler]

"Mommy, why am I black, and you are white?"
"My son, the party was that good, you're lucky enough not to be barking."

Whats the difference between pink and purple?
[spoiler]Your grip[/spoiler]

Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
[spoiler]One makes your day the other makes your hole weak. [/spoiler]

Why did the train go to the brothel?

[spoiler]To let off a bit of steam[/spoiler]

This is one dad told me this afternoon - couldn't stop laughing, althouh it may not go down too well with the heavily religious....

What does Jesus like to do during Easter?

[spoiler]Get nailed[/spoiler]

Why does the easter bunny hide the eggs?

[spoiler]so nobody knows he's fucking a chicken[/spoiler]

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.
For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.


A woman walks past and says, sniggering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat"
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."

:lol: :lol:

:lol: That's brilliant.

Well done :D

Generic compliment #4.

How is a gynaecologist like a Pizza Delivery Boy?

[spoiler]They can both smell it but they can't eat it[/spoiler]

Sorry to all the Liverpool fans out there....

Liverpool are like cheap bras.. Gotta lot of support.. But no CUP.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

bahahahahahahahaha

From the Leeds fan...well I never...lets not go down that path shall we?

Two couples were playing poker one evening.

Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you like under there?" ... See more
Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did.
She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500."
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.
Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p.m. sharp - and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: "Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?" With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon."
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you $500?"Sue, using her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500." Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player!

That's excellent.

Duran Duran have re-released an old classic for the world cup..."His name is Rio and he watches from the stand".

What do you call a woman with no legs?
[spoiler]a dirty cun,t[/spoiler]

What winks and shags like a minx?

;)

Why is it my first thought in response to that was from scrubs... "Bob Kelso" :-& :-&